Laser Time – The Best Video Game Movies Ever Made

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With the recent release of Angry Birds, we fly through the ten highest-rated video game movies ever made. SPOILER: Most of them still suck!!

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32 thoughts on “Laser Time – The Best Video Game Movies Ever Made

  1. I’d have to say Silent Hill or Mortal Kombat… they’re not great, but they’re both fun additions to the genres of horror and action, and that’s more than you can say to pretty much any other game movie.

  2. Milla Jovovich is in two other things you probably have seen before:

    Dazed and Confused.

    She’s also the french foreign exchange student in that one episode of Married with Children.

    You also probably saw Ultraviolet.

  3. Did anyone play tales of vesperia becouse the movie is great, its animated and made by the same people who made the games cutsenes, and its cast for the same voice acters, if you were or are a fan of the game plase at lest watch a traller for it

  4. This week’s topic is right up my alley!
    My girlfriend and I host triple feature movie nights every month. I have been developing a series of nights for video game movies, organizing them from worst to best acccording to Rotten Tomatoes. For the sake of our sanity though, I’m excluding all movies directed by Uwe Boll (for obvious reasons) and any sequels (because there’s no chance I’m sitting through 5 Resident Evil movies). One day we’ll get to the 10 films you guys feature here.
    Quite a shame that every video game adaptation for the last 15 years has been chasing the underwhelmingly low bar FF: Spirit’s Within set, isn’t it?

  5. QOTW: After playing it recently, I would have to say The Order 1886. It is not a good “game” in the sense of interaction and choice but as a cinematic experience it was gorgeous, both in design and technical achievements. I would love to revisit that world; imagine a movie with steampunk Victorian monster-hunting mixed with Arthurian myth. I think the genre is in sore need of a revival post-2011 three musketeers…

  6. I actually thought Ratchet and Clank was better than its reviews. It was disappointing in that they had to tone the action way down (as well as the bleaker parts of the game’s sense of humor) but it was a perfectly decent kids’ film. I certainly liked it better than Doom or Tomb Raider 2.

  7. I was going to cry “what about the Street Fighter II anime” since you included multiple CGI-animated films, but it turns out the SFII anime has *no* tomatometer score. Outrageous.

  8. I actually like the Silent Hill movie. The second one, however, is *awful*.

    It stars Jon Snow and it is *garbage*.

    I actually like the first Tomb Raider movie as well, as a guilty pleasure, although the second one is pretty terrible as well.

    I’m starting to see a pattern.

  9. I have seen the void … it is uncaring, unfeeling, and black

    (What Im trying to say is that I was forced to see that godawful Ratchet and Clank movie)

  10. I don’t know how but you guys went the whole episode without mentioning the Warcraft movie at ALL!? I know it’s not out or released yet but it’s coming in 2 weeks!

  11. I know I’m the only one who likes it, I know this.. but absolutely loved Postal. It’s ridiculous, and makes almost no sense but Holy shit does it ever include some of the craziest offensive jokes into the same movie. Aside from that, Dave Foley can make me watch almost anything (with the exception of his recently cancelled garbage sitcom) so between him and the younger brother from Titus (or the bully from Christmas Story, if you’d prefer) I was sold.
    And what other movie would say “cock-sucking, motherfucking duck”

  12. I’ve not finished the episode yet (I swear, I’m on it!). I’m doubting this is on it, because it’s not really a movie but a collection of shorts, but Halo Legends, I think, is astounding. Drawing heavy inspiration from the equally-amazing Animatrix, it is just beautiful anime lore of the Halo franchise that informs a great deal of the series continuity, which I, for one, mostly enjoy. At the very least, they’ve managed to make the continuity for Halo consistent, which is impressive given the novelizations, spinoffs, etc.

    PS. Only the CG portion really looks dated. So that’s something.

  13. If you ask me what the best video game movie is then I’ll happily respond with The Ace Attorney Movie. Besides it looking like a play made by a high school anime club it is respectful to its source, the characters are well portrayed and more cosplay than you can find at anime expo. It’s pretty much the story for the first game summed up in 90 minutes which only lead to the problems of re-showing the tutorial clock case in live action and knowing and already knowing whats going to happen if you played it.

  14. Of this topic I have many feelings. The most important take away from this episode is that the review score of a video game based movie has little to do with my personal levels of enjoyment. For instance, I really love the Super Mario Brothers movie because it is so ridiculous and campy, two words that are synonymous with quality entertainment to me. I actually saw the Ratchet and Clank movie (my brother is a huge fan of the franchise) and it is pretty ok. It doesn’t deserve to be savaged like it did, but really that is a series best suited for gaming. I wouldn’t say I like Final Fantasy Spirits Within, but it is a fascinating movie on so many levels. I haven’t seen things like PoP or Doom, but I do remember seeing the first Hitman movie with my Grandma on a lazy rainy day. I don’t think she liked it that much.

    That Angry Birds movie looks like pure ass and you couldn’t get me into that theater with a shotgun to my head.

  15. Ape Escape is already James Bond. You go around the world, taking out (capturing in your net) low level baddies, occasionally taking on a higher level guy who gives you info on what exotic location to go next, until you finally take on Spectre (Specter.)

  16. What was the intro song played before the angry birds clip? Very familiar but I cannot remember where it comes from.

  17. Whoa, Chris. Us dur-dy fur-nurs may be the reason dreck like Transformers gets a million movies made, but I wouldn’t talk to loudly about taste, concidering who’s about to become your next president. ;P

  18. The classic Sega Genesis platformer Boogerman: A Pick and Flick Adventure is the only live action adaptation I want to see. I have no idea what the movie would actually be about but I imagine Paul Giamatti as the lead.

  19. I love the Mortal Kombat movie and remember seeing it in the theater on opening night.

    Bummer you didn’t talk about DOA which is at 38% on rotten tomatoes. It’s a fun movie that knows exactly what it is. Plus, Kevin Nash! (Even though Macho Man would have been a 10x better Bass)

  20. Good shitlords callback on the “butler getting his comeuppance”, Dave. I laughed pretty hard on that one.

  21. Fun Fact. At one point Sega sold the movie rights of Vectorman to Ideal Entertainment.

    http://web.archive.org/web/19970327225413/http://www.sega.com/news/releases/vector.html

    SEGA’S “VECTORMAN” SET TO MORPH ONTO THE
    SILVER SCREEN

    — Ideal Entertainment Assembles “ID4”
    Digital Visual Effects Team For the Film–
    REDWOOD CITY, CA, July 22, 1996 — Sega of America, Inc. today announced that it has entered into a deal with Los Angeles-based Ideal Entertainment, Inc. for the motion picture, television and merchandising rights to the top-selling Sega videogame “VectorMan.”
    Ideal Entertainment will initially produce a computer animated sci-fi/action film for theatrical release in late ’97 in association with Tribaltek, a team of acclaimed digital effects producers on the current blockbuster hit “Independence Day” who are overseeing the “Toy Story”-like 3D rendering of characters and environments based on the popular Sega Genesis videogame.

    “We’re excited that Ideal and the digital wizards from ‘Independence Day’ are taking ‘VectorMan’ from the Genesis to the Silver Screen and beyond,” Shinobu Toyoda, general manager of licensing for Sega of America, said. “‘VectorMan’s’ characters, storyline and visual imagery are the perfect foundation for an action-packed entertainment franchise.”

    Leading the accomplished production team of the “VectorMan” project is Ideal Entertainment’s president Jon Shapiro. Most recently, Shapiro developed and executive produced the Warner Bros. feature film “Richie Rich,” starring Macaulay Culkin. He also initiated and is currently the producer of the upcoming feature film “Curious George” with Ron Howard and Brian Grazer’s Imagine Entertainment and David Kirschner Productions for Universal Pictures.

    Tribaltek is a company founded by Tricia Ashford, digital visual effects supervisor and producer on Twentieth Century Fox’s “Independence Day”. Ashford along with “ID4” digital visual effects co-producer Steven Puri, will supervise all digital production aspects of “VectorMan” from development through completion of the film. Joseph Francis, the CG supervisor of “ID4”, will direct “VectorMan” from a script written by Norma Jenkes and Francis.

    “This terrific property has both a huge built-in audience and great conceptual allure that combines elements of the ‘Star Wars’ and ‘Terminator’ movies,” Shapiro said. “With ‘VectorMan,’ Sega has given us the valuable and rare opportunity to create a broad-appeal event suitable for mass exploitation in all mediums throughout the world.” A major studio distribution deal will be announced soon, he added, as will the star-driven roster of talent who are voicing the characters.

    “VectorMan” the videogame is a 3D graphic adventure set on a futuristic Earth polluted by toxic waste. Humankind has departed for space and left behind an army of mechanized “Orbots” to clean up the mess. But when the Orbot leader goes haywire and starts a robot revolt to ambush the humans when they return, only a lonely sludge barge pilot named VectorMan can save mankind.

    VectorMan achieves seamless and fluid movement throughout the game with Sega’s innovative “Vector Piece” animation techniques. Comprised of mechanical shapes and spheres, VectorMan can morph freely and smoothly into mechanical incarnations such as a power drill, jet fighter, dune buggy, mechanical fish or a bomb.

    Sega plans on releasing the highly-anticipated sequel to VectorMan, “VectorMan 2,” for the 16-bit Genesis videogame console this November.

    Sega of America is the arm of Tokyo, Japan-based Sega Enterprises Ltd. responsible for the development, marketing and distribution of Sega videogame systems and videogames in the Americas. Sega Enterprises Ltd. is a nearly $3.6 billion company known as the industry leader in interactive digital entertainment media, and is the only company that offers entertainment experiences both inside and outside the home. Sega of America’s World Wide Web site is located at (http://www.sega.com).

  22. So you want to know how cool Dwayne Johnson is?

    Back around 2004, he was on The Daily Show to promote whatever movie he had out, and John Stewart, a big time gamer, asked him if the rumors of him making Doom were true. It was obvious that Johnson was probably not supposed to say anything, but he immediately caved into John’s giddiness and confirmed it. Then John asked “are you the guy?” And again, Johnson was supposed to keep it a secret, but he smiled and said “I’m the guy.” And John Stewart flipped out. Stewart then asked if they were going to have the BFG in the movie, and Johnson said with a wink that there was a weapon they called the “Bio Force Gun.”

    Flash forward a year later. Johnson shows up on The Daily Show to promote Doom, and he walks out on stage holding the BFG and hands it to Jon Stewart.

  23. For some Tomb Raider breast trivia, Angelina Jolie was a natural 36C but according to the character bible Lara Croft is a 36DD. They split the difference and padded her bra size up to a 36D as they felt giving her the extra cup size to be accurate to the game would be too ridiculous looking.

  24. Why is it this was published on the 23rd yet this is just now showing up on my RSS Feed along with 3 others?

  25. They’re not movies so makes sense they’re not included here, but I’d be curious what you guys think of Tancharoen’s Mortal Kombat: Legacy series.
    Also what do you think of Alicia Vikander being the next Lara Croft?

  26. Sorry I’m late to this party, but doesn’t Cloak and Dagger qualify for this list? It’s at 60% on Rotten Tomatoes.

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