1 – Dolph Ziggler vs Baron Corbin
There’s not even a special stipulation here – it’s just another vanilla singles match. Can this end in a double implosion of both characters, and then they can both be back on TV in a month with separate feuds as we all pretend that this never happened? If that’s not doable, then how about instead we just have Baron definitively defeat Dolph in a goodish match and set up Corbin for a feud with any other human being possible.
2 – Sheamus vs Apollo Crews
Sheamus was the champ six months ago and just starred in a major motion picture, so of course he’s in a nothing match. This won’t get much time, so I’m going to say Crews gets a flash pinfall on Sheamus. That way the face wins to start the show happy and it can continue the feud into SummerSlam.
3- Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro vs. Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens vs. Alberto Del Rio (Money in the Bank Ladder Match)
Could this actually open the show? That’d be crazy, and it’s placement leads me to imagine a cash-in at the end of the show. Though I was rooting for Kevin Owens and definitely think he should be the one that gets the briefcase, I’m going with Ambrose here. I’ll elaborate why in the main event prediction.
4- United States Champion Rusev vs. Titus O’Neil
I’m loving Rusev as his old school killer foreigner gimmick, twisting folks into knots. It lets me pretend the year between now and the last MITB never happened and that the Bulgarian Brute is as imposing as ever. He should handily defeat Titus as a proof of strength, though Rusev could lose as a half-measure to extend the feud. No matter how it happens, there’s no other true ending than Rusev on top.
5- Charlotte and Dana Brooke vs. Natalya and Becky Lynch
Bah! First off, this is what happens when you put the women’s storylines on the backburner, and Charlotte was really hurt by the insults Stephanie threw at her. I predict a further depowering of Charlotte here, with Dana causing some mistake that gets Charlotte pinned by Becky. I expect this to set up a four way between these folks. Side note: WHERE THE FUCK IS SASHA BANKS! I’m going to be seeing this live and am very disappointed Banks is missing from this show.
PICK: Natalya and Becky Lynch
6- Tag Team Champions The New Day vs. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. The Vaudevillains (Aiden English and Simon Gotch)
Four ways are usually how WWE likes to take the belts of popular folks like New Day, so I expect new champs. And if WWE really wants to get behind The Club, Gallows and Anderson NEED to win the belts on their first chance at gold. MITB needs to be the beginning of The Club’s dominance, and that begins by taking the titles, perhaps in an underhanded way like pinning a prone Enzo.
PICK: The Club
7- AJ Styles vs. John Cena
AJ has gotta win the first one with Cena to be considered any true contender as a heel. He doesn’t have to be nice about it, but it needs to be dominant in the way Kevin Owens was when he beat Cena in his debut match. Styles might have to Styles Clash Cena on like 8 chairs or something but he’s gotta win.
8- WWE World Heavyweight Champion Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
So, this one is so complex. The safe choice is to say no one really wins so they can extend this pairing to SummerSlam, but I’d prefer to expect something exciting. Rollins is fresh and ready to show off he can still be the best, he takes out Roman with something vaguely sneaky and wins the belt. Then Dean Ambrose ambushes Seth, cashes in right there and steals the title! And so you have the beautiful tale of Money In The Bank 2016 as the night all three Shield members held the WWE Championship.
Up next… Brett’s picks!