You’re so money at making WWE predictions and you don’t even know it! Check out the predictions from Laser Time’s biggest wrestling geeks and then test your mettle against us by making your own in the comments! Best predictor gets their favorite wrestling theme on the next Cheap Popcast!
The Royal Rumble of the summer (aka Money in the Bank) is upon us. We’re on the road to Summerslam and the first moves happen when the briefcase is yanked down, so the matches this month will likely have ramifications months down the line. That’w why Laser Time’s brightest wrestling minds are on the case.
Anywho, here’s how the prediction contest goes. The LaserTime gang will make picks in this here article (the winner will get their picks on the first page the next month), and then open up the replies to you great listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/no contest) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners, if any), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker.
If you reap the wealth of your picks and have the most correct preditctions, you can make your mark on the next Cheap Popcast episode by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of Reigns-Rollins match) and I’ll give you a shout-out on next week’s episode. Got it? Good. Now, onto each LaserTimer’s predictions!
1 – Dolph Ziggler vs Baron Corbin
After months of stipulation bouts, we’re (hopefully) ending this with a plain ol match? There’s still time to make this one a “kiss my leather jacket” match! At this point, I would have assumed both dudes would be onto new feuds. Ziggler keeps popping up on commentary more nowadays, so I think we see him do more of that thanks to a Corbin thrashing.
2 – Sheamus vs Apollo Crews
Two months after his debut and Apollo Crews FINALLY has his first feud AND PPV match! Who says WWE doesn’t have ideas for NXT call-ups? Anywho, Sheamus is the new Barrett, so Crews scores a win in a (hopefully) hard-hitting match with some show-stealing potential.
3- Sami Zayn vs. Cesaro vs. Chris Jericho vs. Dean Ambrose vs. Kevin Owens vs. Alberto Del Rio (Money in the Bank Ladder Match)
With the exception of Del Rio, everyone has a logical reason to end up with the briefcase. Sami’s the nice guy with the MITB, Cesaro finally gets a win on par with his hot streak since his return, Jericho’s at his best in decades, Ambrose has the Shield connection, and KO was born to be an MITB winner. Even though he’s yanked down the briefcase on free TV (usually a death knell), I’m going to make my dark horse pick of the night and say that WWE capitalizes on Jericho’s renaissance and finally gives Y2J his first MITB win since Appleton.
4- United States Champion Rusev vs. Titus O’Neil
I know, I JUST made an out-of-left-field pick, but the time seems right for a singles push for The Real Deal. Rusev as a US Champ without a Cena on his tail seems meaningless and a Father’s Day title win for Titus seems appropriate now that he’s performed his penance a la Triple H post-Curtain Call.
5- Charlotte and Dana Brooke vs. Natalya and Becky Lynch
*Checks watch* Well, we’ve got two months ’til Summerslam. This month, we get a Becky Lynch pin on Charlotte so that the Women’s Champ has to defend her title at Battleground against the Lass Kicker (and Nattie if they want to spice things up). That frees up Summerslam for Sasha Banks to stake her claim (and heck, Bayley too if she’s called up at that point).
PICK: Natalya and Becky Lynch
6- Tag Team Champions The New Day vs. Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows vs. Enzo Amore and Big Cass vs. The Vaudevillains (Aiden English and Simon Gotch)
The Regular Club should probably win the tag straps soon, but I don’t think it’s quite their time yet. For one thing, I think better things are in store for the faction, but also, since The New Day are a month from breaking the record for longest Tag Team Championship since the advent of monthly PPVs. I say keep the straps on TND for one more show (maybe with the champs stealing a pin after Gallows/Anderson dominance) before The Club gets the championship rub.
PICK: The New Day
7- AJ Styles vs. John Cena
Even if he still HAS to come out on top of his feuds, the last three years have shown that Cena will give the rub to many of his challengers. AJ Styles needs that same elevation that a debuting Kevin Owens had last summer and a returning Alberto Del Rio had last fall, so I say Styles gets a slightly screwy victory (like Cena having a foot under the rope) before LOLCENAWINS starts its course.
8- WWE World Heavyweight Champion Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins
Yeah, Rollins is not winning the WWE Title in his first match back with the company. Over the last few years, post-injury stars rarely get put right back into the top spot (Cena excluded), so I think the summer somehow keeps Rollins in the title picture while also throwing Ambrose into the equation in time for a Shield Summerslam Showdown. So Rollins loses this one (perhaps with a losing cash in with Jericho), but has a reason to continue his quest for a few more months as he proves he can still go with a bionic leg.
Up next… Hank’s picks!