Vidjagame Apocalypse 169 – Porn Stars in Non-Porn Games

VGA169

A show number with “69” in it only comes around every 100 episodes, so we take full advantage this week, as Michael Grimm joins us for a somewhat NSFW show about games that used the (sometimes-dubious) talents of former and current adult-film actresses to great effect. Once the moaning is out of the way, it’s time to dig in to Mighty No. 9, Umbrella Corps, No Man’s Sky’s legal troubles and your favorite E3 items that weren’t showcased at a press conference.

Question of the Week

(Our forums are overrun with spammers this week, so if possible, please answer in the comments below while we deal with the problem.)
If you could mash up any two completely different series, what would you pick?

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45 thoughts on “Vidjagame Apocalypse 169 – Porn Stars in Non-Porn Games

  1. QOTW –

    I would love a mashup of Tomb Raider and Uncharted. Can you imagine how beautiful and athletic those babies would be ?

    1. I would love to see a mash-up of the game mechanics of Mass Effect, with the story of the long dead RPG “Anachronox”, an Ion Storm game about a Private Space Detective who has to save the universe with help from his pole-dancing ninja ex-girlfriend, the digital ghost of his dead secretary, a smack-talking R2-D2, Missy Elliot, the old man from Zelda 1, Mexican Superman, and a human-sized planet that worships bureaucracy. The games fucking bonkers, and I’ve left a link to the trailer to prove I didn’t just make that up, nor had a massive stroke. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isdE2R-j0CI

      1. Never heard of this before and how could i not click after that description. Volition should remake this right now!

  2. YES GRIMM!

    QOTW – I would love a mashup of Skyrim and Kotor. Star Wars universe in the elder scrolls style would be fantastic. Different weapon options, clothing customization, and force powers.

  3. Like Smash Bros and Mario Kart incorporates several nintendo characters, Id like to see cameos of other nintendo characters such as Link, Samus, Mario etc in a pokemon game as trainers or make pokemon based on their attributes and color schemes, or even their enemies like metroids or piranha plants.

  4. I posted the thread first, but then I listened to the episode, so here is my post from there:

    I would want to mash up Mario kart and hotline Miami. Imagine the colors, soundtrack, and setting of hotline Miami with the fast paced 3d racing of the Mario kart series. I would probably stick with the cartoon violence of Mario over the horrifying gore of hotline Miami, and it would be incredible.

  5. I would do a mash-up of Sonic the Hedgehog and Overwatch. Why? Well it’s simple. By doing so, it can make for the perfect game to produce the most content for DeviantArt, Slashfiction and other seedy Internet locales. We can get official fanart of D.Va and Omega hugging one another, or Shadow and Reaper tag-teaming as alpha edgelords, or even Tracer and Sonic in matching spandex pants. It’s what we all dream of at night.

  6. My favorite port star is definitely Ron Jeremy. I would love to see him in… oh wait, that isn’t the question of the week?

    In all seriousness, I would love to play as Max from Sam and Max in a dead rising game. Seeing max enjoy every second of carnage he was made for would bring me so much joy. Then when the action subsides and you look back at the mass of dead zombie bodies you just created, you hear a voice say “you Crack me up, little buddy!”

  7. I would absolutely love a mashup of Dark Souls and Gundam. As in a Gundam game but with the kind of solid mechanics that a Souls game can offer. Instead of those Dynasty Warriors beat em ups we keep getting I want to really feel involved in the combat as I use my beam saber to behead a Zaku. You shouldn’t even start the game as a gundam but just as a rogue rebel pilot with no allegiance. There could even be segments where you have to fight in space stations and moon bases as just a pilot, the first time you do this leading to hijacking your first mech. Which mech you choose to hijack from the hangar would even pick your starting class. As you fight other mechs you can get new armor and weapons, and then actual Gundams would be your bosses and beating them in a one on one duel would let you get their design specs and weapons to incorporate into your own rogue mashup. All the souls style games we’ve seen have just been fantasy variants so a high tech mecha souls game would be awesome to me.

  8. Also Id like a mashup of Spyro the Dragon and Crash Bandicoot finally teaming back up in a new game in which they beat Sonic the Hedgehog to death because why the fuck should he be still around when the both of them are way cooler and had better games but slipped away from popularity.

  9. Also I was gonna comment about the irony of the No Mans Sky name lawsuit but Mikel finally figured it out.
    And geez i missed Grimm hes so funny.

  10. QOTW: I want the powers of the inFAMOUS world but mixed with the arcady trick racing of PURE. Let’s call the game inPURE. In this game the conduits of inFAMOUS are accepted by the population as heroes but more importantly as exTREME (TM) athletes in the newest ATV racing competition. In this game the more sick tricks you pull off the more powerful you get to be. Pull off a low level trick you get to mess with your fellow racers a bit, like using your electricity powers to siphon energy from your fellow racers. If you pull off the highest level trick and you infuse your ATV with your conduit powers. Imagine infusing your neon powers into your ATV making you dash to the front of the pack in a neon light show, or harness your control of rock to trap the competition as you stroll past. Think of all the different racers with unique powers you’ll have. Cole and Delsin can be high level unlocks. Sony and Disney you made #Spider-Man PS4 happen. Now make this happen.

  11. It was so nice not to have Henry telling us how disgusting it is for men to be attracted to women, and making grunts of disgust all the time. The guys got to have fun without someone telling them to move on to something Henry thought was more important. I hope this is a good sign for the future.

    If Mikel is going to keep the community song I hope he turns it down, it was INCREDIBLY LOUD! Usually I would think it was to wake Chris up, but he was pretty engaged throughout the show.

  12. I would like to see a mashup between Gravity Rush and Ace Combat where every time Kat has to move gravity you would have the option to jump into a fighter jet in the sky instead of dealing with counter-intuitive and disorienting controls. Once in the cockpit you would be able rain down Hellfire missiles on Nevi monsters, and maybe they could even include a wildly inappropriate trophy for bombing as many civilian homes as possible like in the last gen Medal of Honor.

  13. I would like to see a mashup between Gravity Rush and Ace Combat where every time Kat has to move gravity you would have the option to jump into a fighter jet in the sky instead of dealing with counter-intuitive and disorienting controls. Once in the cockpit you would be able rain down Hellfire missiles on Nevi monsters, and maybe they could even include a wildly inappropriate trophy for bombing as many civilian homes as possible like in the last gen Medal of Honor.

    P.S. I have been a fan since TalkRadar and I literally just found out this podcast existed. Fuck you assholes for not taking out full page ads in every major newspaper to inform everyone.

  14. I would love a Halo + turn based strategy game (like FE or XCom). Having ODSTs and Marines as the playable characters running around with special Spartan units as back up would be really fun I think. The enemies would be the Covenant and Flood and such.

  15. QOTW: For some reason I have no idea why Nintendo never made a Wrestling game. Which comes to my answer, I want a WWE All Stars type game but with mario characters, who wouldnt want to be Mario giving Waluigi a flying elbow drop or Bowser sending Yoshi to Suplex City BIIITCH!
    PS put Grimm on more, we miss him alot on the show.

  16. QUESTION OF THE WEEK: How about we combine Katamari Damacy, a potential candidate for “most interesting game ever,” and combine it with Desert Bus from Penn & Teller’s Smoke and Mirrors, unquestionably the most boring game ever made? The Prince of All Cosmos rolls his Katamari down a long stretch of road and… continues to roll down the long stretch of road so he can… continue to roll down the long stretch of road for about eight hours. Yup. But hey, soundtrack’s fuckin’ awesome!

  17. QOTW: I got one and it’s a doozy.

    Mass Effect crossed with Dead Space.

    Picture this- the setup is that the new crew of the Normandy go to investigate a distress beacon on a planet near the edge of the outer rim. When they get to the planet, which has an ominous moon, they find an abandoned base, and of course find necromorphs and a marker there. It would be cool to see Mass Effect go hard-horror for one game, and it’s a neat idea to have some fun combat with biotics and squads and stuff.

    It also gets us a new Dead Space. Because damn EA. Damn you.

  18. I repeat the sentiment of having Grimm on podcasts more often. Also, great to have Mikel back after a couple weeks away.

    QOTW: Army Men crossed with Uncharted. Wait wait I’m serious don’t stop reading! I’ve always liked the idea of playing a game where you are a small thing in a real world setting. Imagine a GOOD third person action game in a real world setting, except you’re tiny and your big epic moments are just small items like a literal house of cards falling. It would almost be like the action scenes in Ant-Man or Toy Story.

  19. 2016 has done nothing but take and take, but finally it has given something back. Don’t leave us again Grimm.

  20. I’d do a job on the rim, for more Grimm.

    Hmm, and in honor of the current episode’s theme, why not mash up Dead or Alive Extreme and Tecmo Football? Disguise a good simulator of American football under a titillating veil and see what happens.

  21. If I could mash up any two franchises I would mash up Star Trek and Star Fox. Its a shame to see the most recent Star Fox game retread the 64+the super nes(to some degree). i was hoping they would really mix things up a bit. Near the end of the game you find out about how the portals work outside time and space that’s why Andross has amassed such a large force, he had all the time in the world. What if, when you finally confront him he congratulates you for getting this far but says your too late and whether you live or die all that you know, your family, Cornaria’s history has all been changed. He explains (or doesn’t) that he sent a warning through the portal to himself in the past telling him of the events that lead to his downfall. Boss fight ensues and you blow up Andross then escape as usual. But, when you leave the portal, Cornaria is a very different place. Andross did a full takeover, the Cornarian fleet is scattered as well as the original Star Fox team. The timeline has been changed. Its up to Fox Mcloud and General Pepper (who was in that teleporting building)to gather allies recurring and unexpected to bring down Andross and restore the timeline.

    TLDR Star Trek +Star Fox for some good ol Lylat system, time travelin shenanigans.

  22. Mash up Mega Man: Battle Network and Bloodborne. Think of a Tron looking Bloodborne starring Mega Man equipped with a variety of chips for weapons and cross soul abilities from other Navi (Hunters). Bring a new meaning to th term “dark Internet”.

  23. QOTW: Finalfantasy Tactics style gameplay and mass effect universe. I think with the jobs systems and rich story would lend well to a tactics RPG. Plus little Chibi versions of Garrus and Wrex in my pocket? YES PLEASE.

  24. QotW:

    Her story / snatcher. Cyber punk murder mystery where you find leads and Solve the case by combing through the video memories of fallen androids. Perhaps center the story around mistaken /confused identity. Her story isn’t a franchise with cute characters to shoehorn into another game but the general themes and research style gameplay could really work in the snatcher universe.

  25. Monster hunter meets one of the super hero universes. Imagine having you and 3 friends teaming up as your hero of choice teaming up to fight super villains in open city environments without having to bother with the usual boring grunt fights, and with incredibly in depth fighting mechanics to keep repeat fights interesting.

  26. Suikoden and Mass Effect

    A sci fi rpg where you go out in the universe trying to overthrow an evil galactic empire, recruiting people to your cause.

    You can build up your ship like you build up the castle in Suikoden (i.e. make it bigger and more expansive) and have a little Mako ship to explore planets.

    However it would have the old, turn based Suikoden battle system.

    It can’t fail!

  27. Grand Theft Auto & Mario Kart

    I know it kinda happened with the Simpsons Hit and Run, but I want Nintendo characters. Those sound effects and mild smash bro’s violence… sounds perfect to me 🙂

  28. QUESTION OF THE WEEK
    – Arkham Dogs or Arkham Cause.
    I would like to mash-up Just Cause 2 or Sleeping Dogs with an Arkham style Batman game. It would finally give a reason to use Batman’s vehicles but more than that it would be fun to see the Batman in a colorful world, yet dirty world like Just Cause 2 and Sleeping Dogs.
    I guess Ra’s al’Ghul would have to be the villain with some other international rogues like Bane, Lady Shiva, Bronze Tiger…

    Sleeping Dogs had large, complex cramped city centers spread out by large freeways and hilly jungles with great, dynamic weather effects and it already had an Arkham style combat system. Just Cause 2 had a huge open world, many times bigger than it really needed to be (probably to it’s own detriment) and the grapple arm along with infinite parachutes that acted like Batman’s para-cape from the Arkham games. (It was called para-cape in the comics, Batman and Robin #1, 2009)
    Also, Sleeping Dogs had cop missions and gangster missions. It might actually be fun to NOT be Batman for a few missions. Tail someone as Matches Mallone during the daytime, or enter into street races as thrillseeking Bruce Wayne during the daytime while you learn the layout of the maps. Or switch to Robin or Nightwing or Batgirl for Bruce Wayne escort missions.

  29. A Sonic game that really is Jet Set Radio 3.

    I really want another Jet Set Radio game, one that plays like Jet Set Radio Future with the open-world stages along with the emphasize on speed and the quick graffiti spray button, so make a Sonic game that plays like Jet Set Radio.There were plenty of unlockable characters in both JSR games so you can just use Sonic and his many friends. Also, everyone can be reduced to saying only word and that’s it, so no more long, pointless conversations like every other modern Sonic game. Everyone would have the ability to grind and boost around many colorful, distinct Sonic stages, tagging the stages with either the graffiti provided in the game or a custom graffiti that you made. However, the game should just use the DJ from the JSR game and not turn Victor the Crocodile into the DJ, along with having a soundtrack that is a mix of Sonic and JSR. I want this game now…

  30. I’d like an RTS mixed with a plague similulator, mixed with a 3rd person shooter with RPG elements.

    So you are an army commander battling an unknown plague, trying to keep it quarantined all whilst leading your customisable squad to undertake certain missions vital to the success of the campaign.

    Rather than just being a typical zombie plague this would be a Cthulhu style plague complete with large horrible demonic entities

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