Battle of the Pimps

pimp, friday after next, pimps up hoes down, be cool, next friday, i'm gonna git u sucka

Pimping and Hollywood go hand in hand. I mean, how many Ice Age films have been released, and how many have you actually seen? I’ve seen zero, but they keep making them. I guess a good pimp is stealthy, one who operates under the radar. The following is a list of Hollywood’s greatest pimps to ever grace the silver screen, ranked from OG to triple OG to double platinum.

Money Mike

As Seen In: Friday After Next

Katt Williams’ crazy ass is lucky to even make this list, with his recent go-arounds with police, but his portrayal of small-time clothing store owner Money Mike is enough. Seriously though, how do you get choked out by a boy?

Raji

As Seen In: Be Cool

It’s one of The Rock’s best performances, but that’s a topic for another article. Vince Vaughn’s portrayal of a misguided white pimp with one of the best laughs I’ve ever heard earns him a spot on this list of macs.

Pinky

As Seen In: Next Friday

Some might take offense to this pick because we never actually see him pimping any girls, but let’s look at the facts. He wears all pink, has a limo driver, and carries a flashy gun. If that’s not pimping, what is?

Fly Guy

As Seen In: I’m Gonna Git You Sucka

Having fish in your shoes earns you a spot on every one of my lists. Writing a love poem entitled “My Bitch Better Have My Money” earns you a spot in the pantheon of pimping!

Mr. Whitefolks

As Seen In: Pimps Up, Ho’s Down

Is there a greater pimp than Mr. Whitefolks? Hell no! The dude is a legit pimp, spouting off classic lines like “When a pimp be riding by, a bitch supposed to be looking at the curb” and “She can be broke for reckless eyeballing!” Oh, and if you haven’t noticed, he is indeed white, so he no doubt had an uphill battle getting to where he is now. Plus, he’s the only real pimp on this list, making him the number one pimp/mac of the millennium, yo!

 

Well, that’s my list. If you know of any pimps that I forgot to mention, definitely respond in the comments below so I can put ’em on my radar, yo!

Moan4Stallone is usually our go-to horror guy, but there’s nothing wrong with dipping into the world of pimps and hos now and then. Feel free to hit him on Twitter.

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