Vidjagame Apocalypse 201 – Tragic Romances

This episode was recorded in the aftermath of another Valentine’s Day, which we mark the only way we know how: by being miserable bastards and getting spoilery about gaming’s most tragically disastrous romances. With that out of the way, we dig into For Honor and Sniper Elite 4, talk about E3 getting bigger and earlier, and (finally!) take a stroll through your favorite games of all time.

Question of the Week
If you could romantically match up any two video game characters, who would you pick?



Theme song by Matthew Joseph Payne. Break song is How It Ends by Devotchka. Haunting and beautiful New Releases Theme by David B. Cooper.

This show is brought to you by GEEK FUEL. To get a FREE Star Wars item CLICK HERE

If ya haven’t checked out the Laser Time YouTube channel, here’s something swell you might’ve missed!


Kingdom Hearts III
Red Dead Redemption 2
Persona 5
Mass Effect Andromeda Deluxe Edition
Halo Wars 2
South Park: The Fractured But Whole
Death Stranding
Final Fantasy VII Remake

34 thoughts on “Vidjagame Apocalypse 201 – Tragic Romances

  1. When Viz finally released the Golgo 13 volumes, Eclipse released a few issues in the late 80s to tie in with the NES games, well… I learned that he loves his doggie style.

  2. 50 cent from 50 Cent: Blood i. The Sand and 50 cent from 50 Cent: BulletProof would make a really cute couple!

  3. Maybe Matt Groening was right to try to stop plenty of Nazi jokes on the Simpsons. Though I wonder if by the 1990s he knew that such content was too easy and four decades removed from the war, knuckleheads like Pewdiepie would ruin the genre forever.

  4. Ugh FUCK the Last of Us(and Gone Home) im SO SICK of fug’n dick ass games journalist slobbing all over those stories saying how they “made them cry” and it’s “empowering” and progressive as someone who actually is gay(and has had some serious heartache) I hated those stories(and hate the way all Naughty Dog games play in general) if you want a tragic gay love story watch “Lost & Delirious” don’t settle for and praise Left Behind(& especally not Gone Home) idk not to rant but straight people praise for Left Behind for lesbians is what I assume White people praising The Wire is for black people just straight up GFB whenever I read articles about it.

    1. Amen!! Praise be with you, bc of lady of us we’re getting so many man with beard with kid games and movies that exploit sadness, fuck it.

    2. With that kind of logic you shouldn’t have an opinion on straight love stories then right? Just bcuz someone isn’t gay doesn’t mean they can’t be moved by something that is. Love is Love and most of us know what that is regardless of our sexuality

    3. To answer the QotW I’d ship my wifu’s Cassie Cage from Mortal Kombat X with Jack specifically from Mass Effect 3, the hair game is crazy and both are just sexy dive bar dykes who kinda look like the ideal version of myself on 2nd thought I’d respectively ship’m with cewt nerdy Gaige the Mechromancer from Borderlands2 and uptight Evie Frye from ACS both seem like they’d like chicks who are trouble

  5. God I hate pewdiepie, his game comments are shit. I clicked on a vid of his recently that said he was quitting and it was just him bitching about being rich and popular but his shitty blog was doing bad, oh boo fucking hoo.
    All vlogs should do bad bc vlogs are fucking stupid.

  6. What are these comments!? Can people please be coherent?
    Anyway, I just wanted to point out that the Zelda DLC includes a new dungeon and a “new original story” in the second set, which I consider a pretty nice addition on top of the first’s Cave or Trials and Hard Mode.

  7. Sorry guys, I’m one of those people who says “put it on the disc”.

    I hate digital. I hate dlc. I *always* wait for the GOTY edition. Season passes are an abomination on the level of Pewdiepie.

    DLC does NOT extend games, it chops them up and charges consumers more for them.

    DLC flat out sucks.

    1. in many cases this is content the dev teams have continued to work on post-release…certainly for many indie devs. I think no one likes the more overt nickel-and-diming (see: SF5)
      it seems weird to see people saying they “hate digital” at this point? personally I haven’t bought physical game media since…2008? though I only play on steam… mainly because I have no money 😉

  8. I would really like to ship Old Snake from MGS 4 with Snake from MGS 1. Because it’s time to settle the debate of whether you can have sex with yourself or if it’s merely extra-dimensional masturbation.

  9. Which two video game characters would I romantically match up you say? Luigi and Telma from Twilight Princess. It’s time for us to accept the fact that Luigi can’t be the assertive man Daisy needs him to be. That’s why Chris paired her with Sonic. Luigi will be devastated, no doubt. But we know that Telma knows how to take care of a man in green. With them big ol Queen Latifah tiddies.

  10. Yeah, I’m just gonna say Fuck you Chris; god you get more annoying by the week. We get it you’re a liberal.

    Gotta say I don’t see all the hate the Xbox One gets, it suits me well. So it’s not overselling the PS4 but you know what it’s also selling a whole lot. There’s a TON of gamers out there and both systems are doing well, isn’t that the plus?! The Wii U on the other hand, not so much, even though I grabbed one a while ago and have enjoyed the exclusives to pair along with my Xbox and netbook gaming.

    As for the criticism of not being able to find your games. If you have a problem with where your games are, there’s a DEDICATED UI place to take you to your Library, Apps, Ready to Install, Updates and Queue – One move over with the anolog stick and press the fucking A button. The criticism of your mushy controller? The Xbox One S controller doesn’t have any more of that problem, upgrade up or shit just use the analog stick, you man baby.

    And yeah Halo Wars 2 is a big fucking deal and the fact that it’s on both Xbox One and PC is showing how much Microsoft wants it to be as big as the first was. There’s also been a few big launch events for the game and there’s a drive of the Halo 5 eSports tournaments still going strong (Halo Wars 2 takes place after the events from Halo 5).
    Here let’s switch this around so you’re getting what I’m saying. You know what, I don’t know why Ducktales is such a huge monument of a game, it’s a piece of shit and it has no right being nominated in the personal top games of all time. *See how idiotic that sounds!? While I don’t agree it to be held so high, I will not tell somebody else how to enjoy their life. You wanted Ducktales as your personal top game, fine. I’ll continue to enjoy Halo, and this week Halo Wars 2.
    Side note, Blur Studios needs to make a freakin’ Halo movie pronto!

    1. Yea it’s ridiculous that even this podcast about video games has to have some political talk thrown in so he can let everyone know he’s a liberal

      1. I agree to some extent. I want to talk about games in a game-only void, but these are strange times. I wish I could line up with the other nerds to offer verbal blowjobs to 7 out of 10 games like Halo Wars, but there are things on my mind of greater importance. They are hard to suppress and ignore, and sometimes those opinions manifest themselves over the course of several hours of drinking and talking with friends.

        So with that in mind, I’d like to sincerely apologize to all the snowflakes out there for momentarily invading their morally ambiguous safe spaces. I mean that. I’m not being flippant or rude there… but I’m about to be! I love how your political ideology is so poorly thought out, you believe that being distraught enough over current events to uncontrollably bring political shit up for all of 2% of a 3 hour show is the result of me needing folks “to know I’m liberal.” Jesus Christ, children! I’m sorry you haven’t thought about your political rational for more than the time it takes to type a negative video game comment, but many of us have had our world upside down over the course of a few weeks. Myself and millions like me are likely to lose their health insurance, some of my friends remain trapped in airports and kept from their families, disconnected from their families, having done nothing wrong. Other friends look are threatened with deportation due to bigoted, poorly realized executive orders, and we have literal nazis coming out of the woodwork to harrass people for the first time in my nearly four decades on this earth. Some of these people are listeners, and I care a lot more about them than you right now. It’s nice that you get to live in the world where Halo Wars is the most important thing going on, but most of us don’t have that luxury and there are things of genuine consequence happening right now that are difficult to fully suppress.

        And while some of your complaints about invasive political talk are valid, maybe just shut up about? If you think they have no place in a video game show, I sort of agree, except when and where current events color our opinions and change the relevance of certain topics. Because how can they not? That’s life. That’s criticism. My advice is to keep listening and more often than not the political shit’ll be over in seconds. If your problem is you disagree with our world view: Deal with it or stop listening. Your position is likely pretty indefensible, and I personally don’t care if you stay aboard as a listener. I will not respond to this brand of hyper sensitivity hypocrisy every fucking week. You either care little about the outside world or your position is indefensible and I don’t particularly care about keeping you happy. It’s both too difficult an endeavor and I have very little sympathy for you.

        TRIGGER WARNING: If you stand with the administration that’s currently stripping people of their rights, enabling racists, poisoning the environment, endangering innocent families and children, all while suppressing all manner of science, news and facts THEN FUCKING GROW A PAIR. You don’t get to side with tyrants and be a fucking baby! Or go find a show that gels with your conservative world view. SPOILER: If they’re talking about the arts or creative stuff, you have quite the hunt ahead of you.

        1. But I will take your advise and gladly stop listening to your network cuz like many others I can’t stand the sound of your damn voice anymore . Good luck in the future tho

        2. Chris Antista, after reading your response I must say… I love you, make me a child.

          Keep up the good work. Love listening to your various rants and belches.

    2. Isn’t it funny how this kind of anger only comes out when a Halo game does? Glad it only needs to happen once a year.

      But seriously, I feel like I am too harsh on the Xbone sometime. I have had very little go wrong when ACTUALLY playing game. However, getting to a game through the interface is still needless stupid. The OS crashes constantly, I have to restart almost every app (apps no other console has, I’ll give you that) manually just to use them, and my D-pad literally stopped working. I apologize, but the notion of “Oh! It must be time to update my controller!” is not something would never occur to me, someone who’s owned 95% of consoles released since the NES. This might seem acceptable in a world where that’s your only console, but some of us don’t live in that void so it seems stupid, really more of a negative feature. I don’t live in that void. And yeah, it’s only within that same void where Halo Wars 2 is the biggest game release of the week. If Xbone is your only console, and you only buy physical games.

      I can also appreciate you thinking Halo is an eSports savior. I think it’s fun to watch too. But let’s see how organically that carries over when Halo’s appearance in eSports isn’t sponsored by Halo. It’s hard for me to judge what makes a better competitive game for spectators, but I can objectively tell you that Halo’s lobbies are comparatively anemic, and that might have a lot to do with disastrous launches like The Master Chief Collection, featuring an online infrastructure so broken it caused the cancellation of its own eSports competition. Being critical of these obvious, objective flaws tends to bring negative comments like yours. Because Halo. So in summation: Grow up a bit, huh? Or maybe align your personality and self esteem to something other than a corporate game franchise? Or stop listening, because you seem a little too sensitive to take in the opinions of others.

    3. Another xbox fan! I agree with you to a degree and really shitting on xbox has been the story of the past 4 years. Sony has been coasting off that 2013 E3 for close to 4 years and people act like the PS4 is the modern day SNES while the Xbox One is the Atari Jaguar. Both consoles have had a variety of exclusives to their platform that are good. I don’t like all those (and I’m sorry for saying it like this) weird ass japanese games they release and don’t care for their other exclusives like Uncharted and Last of Us. Xbox has had several worthwhile exclusives, is continually and routinely making UI changes, has the best controller in the business, and is doing more and more things to be more consumer friendly (i.e. play anywhere, EA access). What’s hilarious is in this episode how “difficult” it is to find games when it took more steps to find them on a 360. It’s literally right there on the main page. Meanwhile the PS4 still doesn’t have external harddrive support (coming soon) which is laughable in this day and age.

      I don’t get what the hell has happened the past 4 years in gaming but it is ridiculous and can’t wait for it to end. It will be interesting to see what happens when Xbox has the most powerful machine on the block (arguments have been shifting from the MOAR POWER argument from the consoles’ releases to exclusives lately in anticipation). Sony has more exclusives, but Xbox has its share of good enjoyable exclusives, strong 3rd party support, and strong online interface. I don’t get why they can’t be treated as equals. The PS4 is not in anyway absolutely better than the Xbox one (well except for Japanese support). In several ways the xbox has a leg up on PS4 – racing games (sim and arcade), online first and third person experiences (halo and gears), an actual console rts, EA access off the top of my head. PS4 has some good single player games but MS isn’t shitting the bed entirely with SO, RoTR (which was exclusive for a year), Ori, and Quantum Break.

      I’m not trying to start an xbox one is better argument but just saying how it is insane how the consoles are treated so differently and everything the xbox does is shit on, ridiculed, or ignored while the PS4 shits gold bricks. They both have faults, they both have strengths.

  11. QOTW: I ship my squad from X-COM with my squad from X-COM. Those ladies and gents have worked so hard they deserve some companionship. Also not to be a kiss ass but y’all are doing great.

    1. Neo Nazis have been on the news, marching in Washington, assembling in honor of the president elect, and best of all, getting punched in the face. Wasn’t referring to a television personality or pundit in particular.

      1. Ahh. Gotcha thanks for the response. Totally agree on your views on PewdiePie. Don’t wish ill on him but hope he develops better jokes. Like you said “read the room”.

  12. QOTW: Who would make gaming’s greatest power couple? Amaterasu from Okami and Missle from Ghost Trick. If those two spirit doggos got together, their puppies would be impossibly cute.

  13. There’s a whole lot of shit going on here but I just got to say:

    I’m not a fan of Xbox one, but if you can’t find your games? That’s weak. They are all literally right there. It’s one click. “My games and apps.” All right there. Downloaded ones. Non downloaded ones. Backward compatible ones. They even threw in all the apps.

    Again I’m not crazy about the system, nor the UI. But not not finding the games? Seriously? O_o

  14. QotW: For some reason I can see Kratos and Bayonetta being the best power couple. Heaven and Hell would have no chance taking them down. Also, I’m sure Kratos wouldn’t mind all that hair.

  15. QOTW: One thing my friends and I think about a lot is Socially Awkward Samus. having her TRY to go on dates and it ending up failing is great because she was raised by bird people and spends long hours alone in space on her ship. this makes her extremely inept at conversation and custom. imagine shes trying to look hot for some soldier dude she met on a mission and she does some weird tribal bird courting dance involving her singing the song of her people and parading like a chicken. and doing it all honestly.

    ok but seriously, Samus needs someone whos been through as much crazy shit as her to be able to deal with her inevitable psychological breakdown. Id probably put her with Jack Mass Effect.

  16. My answer to the question about which two game characters I’d want to see hook up? How about Nathan Drake and Lara Croft? They already have so much in common, including the strongest fingers and hands in gaming. And think of the children they’d produce!

  17. Eris Morn from Destiny and Claptrap from Borderlands. They both could use a friend and Eris could use the cheering up.

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