Predator Stalks Arnold, Bullock Boards a Boat, and The Sopranos’ Song Ends – June 9-June 15

1987 pits Arnold Schwarzenegger against the most dangerous creature in the universe while Jack Nicholson charms The Witches of Eastwick. In 1997, Lois and Clark conclude their courtship while Sandra Bullock brings a new beau on a boat. 2017 has two big HBO milestones in The Sopranos’ end and John From Cincinnati’s start to make up for the mediocre Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

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THIS WEEK’S TOPICS

1987
Movies –

Million Dollar Mystery: Tom Bosley, a Glad tie-in contest disguised as a movie.

The Believers: Martin Sheen, Helen Slater, Robert Loggia

The Witches of Eastwick: Jack Nicholson, Cher, Susan Sarandon, Michelle Pfeiffer

Predator (no. 1 at box office): Arnold, Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura

TV –

6/13 – Sidekicks airs its last episode; it’s a show about a cop and his adopted martial artist son (played by Ernie Reyes)

Music –

No. 1 song is Supreme’s cover “You Keep Me Hanging On” by Kim Wilde

New albums this week: “Join the Army” by Suicidal Tendencies, which includes “Possessed to Skate” and “War Inside My Head”; “Clutching at Straws” by Merillion; “Radio KAOS” by Roger Waters
“Bigger and Deffer,” LL Cool J’s 2nd album, including “I Need Love”

1997
Music –

“Airbag” – “OK Computer” by Radiohead is released!

New albums: “My Own Prison” the first studio album by Creed, “Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space” by Spiritualized, “Cryptic Writings” by Megadeth

Movies –

American Perfekt: Robert Forester is basically Two-Face

This World, Then the Fireworks: neonoir with Billy Zane, Gina Gershon

Ulee’s Gold: Peter Fonda, Patricia Richardson

Speed 2: Cruise Control

TV –
Lois and Clark series finale after four seasons. Earlier in the fourth season, ABC had announced and promised an additional fifth year of the show, so the show’s producers and writers were caught unprepared when ABC later changed its mind and decided that no new episodes would be produced. The show ended with a cliffhanger where a baby was left with L&C draped in a kryptonian cape. Producers said they child would be revealed to be Kryptonian royalty and to be protected by L&C.

6/10 – Final episode of Life’s Work, a sitcom vehicle for comedian Lisa Ann Walter (who 10 years later would be one of the judges on “The Next Best Thing: Who Is the Greatest Celebrity Impersonator?”)

6/14/97 – Finale of Leaving LA, a a dramedy set in the Los Angeles County Coroner’s office. It starred Chris Meloni and only ran for six episodes. Fortunately Meloni would get a part on Oz in 1998 and Law and Order SVU in 1999

6/9 – Much like how Newsradio had a new episode air after the finale, another new episode of Married with Children airs, where a monkey works with Al at the shoe store. ANOTHER forgotten episode would air in 2002, where both Al/Peg and Marcy/Steve sue a hotel that taped their lovemaking.

6/10/97 – The MTV Movie awards air, hosted by Mike Meyers, best known for the lifetime achievement award winner

2007
Music –

“Umbrella” by Rihanna is no. 1.

Movies –

Nancy Drew: Emma Roberts

Fido – Billy Connoly as a pet zombie

Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer (no. 1 at box office):

TV –

6/10 – Sarah Silverman hosts the MTV Movie Awards. Here’s Sarah analyzing a joke she made

Final episode of Price is Right hosted by Bob Barker

6/10: Sopranos Series Finale

John from Cincinnati debuts

6/13/07 – Last Comic Standing seaon 5 debuts, with the show’s third host (out of an eventual seven), Bill Bellamy. Maybe the most star studded cast ever, the winner John Reep beat out Lavell Crawford (of Breaking Bad) Doug Benson, and Amy Schumer

20 thoughts on “Predator Stalks Arnold, Bullock Boards a Boat, and The Sopranos’ Song Ends – June 9-June 15

  1. The Sopranos is so much more dated than its peers even by the final season it felt like an excellent 70s movie that is paced poorly as hell by modern standards there’s so many filler episodes and dead air in good ones that it’s been almost unrewatchable since it went off the air yet it’s probably the greatest reason behind TV becoming so excellent the last 15 years.

  2. Always had a odd hatred of Predator the villain, it’s supposed to be a badass hunter but only faces two(maybe one) of the soldier head on and loses clean to Arnold. He’s supposed to be badass but had full element of surprise and amazing gadgets unless it’s so meta commentary on hunting being weak humans killing stronger beast by shooting them before they can defend themselves and acting as if that makes them tough then it’s clever but that’s not what it was, Predator is the Pat Garrett of Coward Robert Redford to Jessie Ventura and Carl Weathers Billy the Kid and Jesse Jackson GFB!

  3. A theory I am paraphrasing is that ambiguous endings are for narcissts. Oh I get to think and consider what the ending could/should be. Thanks for letting me write my fan-fiction to fill in what you neglected to tell me. It is easier not to show something, not to have an ending. If you write a proper ending people may or may not like it but if you leave things open ended you don’t run the risk of striking out or hitting a home run.

    On a less serious note, I switched my off day of work to watch Bob Barker’s last Price is Right which was mu favorite show as a kid.

    Thanks for the show.

  4. My head cannon for the Predator is this:

    INT. PREDATOR OFFICE BUILDING
    A SCHLUBBY PREDATOR has a very bored look on his face. He is wearing white long flowing robes while he is hunched over a holographic computer interfacing moving alien symbols around. A bigger, taller BOSS-PREDATOR, dressed in black flowing robes, comes over and looks at the alien symbols.

    BOSS PREDATOR
    (Incomprehensible predator-speak but we can tell he’s yelling at Schlubby Predator)

    Schlubby Predator looks at the camera with a sad look on his face.

    EXT. ALIEN HOME
    Schlubby Predator gets out of his beat up hovercraft and start’s walking to his door. His predator-kids are running around and one of them nocks him over and he prat-falls into a puddle, getting his white robes all dirty. His Predator-Wife, wearing the Predator-equivalent of hair curlers comes out, looks at her husband in the mud and starts wagering her finger at him and giving him a lecture.

    Schlubby Predator looks at the camera s if saying, “Why me?”

    Suddenly a shiny new sports-hovercraft pulls up. Exciting jingle music begins to play. A SUNGLASS-WEARING-PREDATOR jumps out the sports-hovercraft.

    SUNGLASS-WEARING-PREDATOR
    (Incomprehensible predator-speech, but we can tell he’s excited and giving a sales pitch).

    When he stops Schlubby Predator points at himself as if saying, “Who me?”

    Hunter-Predator nods his head as if saying, “Yes YOU!”

    Schlubby Predator is then transformed in a cheesy dissolve into a fully decked out Hunter-Predator. The camera loving zooms in on every inch of his new gear.

    MONTAGE
    A shot of the Schlubby/Hunter-Predator flying off planet in a spaceship and shouting in joy.
    A shot of the Schlubby/Hunter-Predator jumping out into a jungle.
    A shot of the Schlubby/Hunter-Predator singing songs around a campfire with a bunch of other predators.
    A shot of the Schlubby/Hunter-Predator running alongside a bunch of big huge alien animals.
    A final shot the Schlubby/Hunter-Predator holding a human head aloft, while his friends congratulate him.

    Schlubby/Hunter-Predator points to the camera, and gives a quick speech that leaves the impression that he is saying, “And it could happen to you!”

    Flash of text giving information, in Predator language, on how you can buy a package hunting-tour too.

  5. Public service announcement:

    If you aren’t on the Laser Time Community Facebook group, then you’re missing out on us trying to convince a member to livestream an Elsa (from Frozen) Dental Simulator while his wife’s out of town.

  6. Worth mentioning, Dean Cain is now playing Supergirl’s adoptive human father on the CW show, and Teri Hatcher played the main antagonist of season 2. I like when they do nods like that which don’t detract from the show, and Teri Hatcher’s character was pretty great.

    1. I saw Fido around the time it came out on DVD and remember having a pretty good time with it. I think I’ll give it a rewatch because of the anniversary.

      1. I found Fido at a hollywood video going out of business sale for a buck! And it was one of the best site unseen dvd purchases I have ever done, saldy the trash bag full of dvds I also purchases were not so great (Wristcutters love story, Vampires 2 Bon jovi edtion and hearts in atlantis.)

  7. Thom Yorke’s voice sounds like an air raid siren droning on and on.

    Carrie Fisher’s hair joke was as bad as Krusty’s “blue-haired goon” joke.

    As much as I hate zombies, I liked Fido, I’ve been a fan of Billy Connolly since he took over Head of the Class from Howard Hessman, and he’s enough to make putting up with another stupid zombie scenario worthwhile.

  8. Boy, I have much to say about this week:

    1987: I saw Predator on home video and for some reason it scared the fuck out of me. I mean, it REALLY scared the fuck out of me. I had mini-freakouts in broad daylight because I was afraid he was up in the trees watching me – no joke. I have no idea why, but that one just hit a nerve unlike any horror movie I had seen. At some point, I got over it. Now, I absolutely love the movie as a modern classic, but I actually like Predator 2 better.

    1997: This World, Then the Fireworks has got to be the worst title to a movie I have never seen, yet have never forgotten.

    And, I must admit, I did enjoy Speed 2. The first half of the movie is crazy slow and plays like a dumb comedy, but the second half when the shit hits the fan is pure spectacle. In 1997, Fox released Speed 2, Out to Sea, and Titanic – THREE very expensive movies all set on cruise ships, leading some critic who I don’t remember to say: “Someone at Fox REALLY likes boats.”

    Cryptic Writings is, in my opinion, Megadeth’s last great album, as it was the last one with their classic 90s line-up. While on tour, they had an autograph signing session at Best Buy, where I waited in line for about 45 minutes to have them sign some artwork. Didn’t get any pictures, but I still have the artwork hanging in my room.

    Ulee’s Gold was out around the same time as another indie movie called Ulysses’ Gaze, and we were constantly confusing the two. And that’s a sentence I bet you never thought you would read.

    2007 – I also enjoyed Rise of the Silver Surfer. Sure, it had problems, to put it nicely, but I still found it entertaining.

  9. Dave – they’ve actually stated that this Predator movie is not a reboot. It’s a continuation of the series that started with the Arnold movie. ho
    Neither was the 2010 movie actually, as they refer to the original movie.

    Chris – stay away from AvP. They are awful movies.

    CHRIS – QUESTION TIME – Who makes worse films – Michael Bay or Paul WS Anderson?

    And I get what you’re saying about the Sopranos, but I will argue that Babylon 5 did everything you’re saying in terms of story telling, and did it a decade earlier. It just wasn’t as cinematic because they didn’t have the budget.

    1. I can’t think about Speed 2: Cruise Control, without thinking about this amazing video: https://youtu.be/vBXX6J6wNIk

      Also, it’s been a minute, here’s your comics for June 87/97/07:

      Marvel publishes “Emperor Doom,” a self-contained graphic novel where Dr. Doom uses the Purple Man to hypnotize the world, making himself world leader, ending the nuclear threat, Apartheid, and other 80’s problems, at the expense of free will. Somehow Wonder Man of all people is unaffected, and has to rally the Avengers, who have to decide whether authoritarianism is worth sacrificing individual freedom.

      Batman begins a “Year Two,” a sequel to the hugely popular Year One, where Batman is defeated by an old man in a grim reaper costume, and his response is to start using the gun that killed his parents, and team-up with the mafia and the man who murdered his parents to fight the old man. Was later adapted into a 1000% better story in Batman: Mask of the Phantasm.

      1997:

      In May, Superman reveals his blue energy costume! It’s bad!

      Marvel is still in the Heroes Reborn doldrums. Venom: License to Kill #1 comes out. Venom didn’t have a regular series, he just had a string of limited series strung together. This one sets up a new status quo where he had a badge and gun on the cover. The Venom 90’s tide has crested.

      2007:

      Mighty Avengers and Avengers: the Initiative launch in May and June, as the Avengers brand begins its decade of total domination. Nova gets a new comic, spinning out of the Annihilation storyline (the one that re-introduced the world to Starlord, Rocket Raccoon, and Groot).

      No new series in DC, but Grant Morrison and Paul Dini write the main two Batman books, while Morrison and Quitely continue an all-time great Superman story in All-Star Superman #7. In the pages of Wonder Woman, the Amazons Attack in a story that is very stupid.

  10. So Tony Soprano WAS murdered in the final episode? I could never tell back when it originally aired. In any case, alive or dead after the fade to black, his life was effectively over. The first 3 seasons were brilliant and the remaining ones were ok in my opinion. This show did have a real talent for “A Day in the Life” type storytelling. The whole “Banality of Evil” theme of the show ( again, my opinion ) is compelling because it shows just how boring and ordinary such a life ends up being. Pretty good show overall.

  11. I like Predator, Predator 2 and Predators a lot. I don’t get the Predators hate though, what is wrong with it? Also, don’t compare Speed 2: Cruise Control to Predator 2. Danny Glover is awesome. But here’s the thing about Predators, it’s not about who looks like can take on the Predator, it’s about these Super Predators (since I guess Predators have their own tribes) kidnapping whom they consider just as dangerous and put in a game preserve i.e. a jungle planet. And these are reasonable choices like a soldier, assassin, serial killer, prisoner, etc. and it’s reasonable that these guys weren’t like Arnold’s physique or anything.

    Besides, it redeemed the missed opportunity that are the Alien vs. Predator movies. Swine Paul Anderson.

  12. I’m glad you guys talked about Radiohead. I lost all access to my iTunes library recently and had to re-rip all my music back into the system. I have hundreds of CDs that I ripped until I ran out of room for my iPhone (64Gig). I still have about 3 to 4 dozen more CDs that need to be ripped and among them is OK Computer. I am so bummed because I really love that album but I also want the Nier:Automata soundtrack on my phone too. I am at the point to where I have to either fork out several hundred dollars for a new iPhone 7 with 128 Gig mem cap or go thru my iTunes library and do some pruning. Well, at least I still have Hail to the Thief on my phone. :/

  13. I’m surprised that the ABC announcer from the 80s is barely being discussed by you guys now. He’s Ernie Anderson, cult figure of Cleveland television as a monster movie host on TV and father to future director PT Anderson. He even has a cameo in his first film, Hard Eight, when John C. Reilly’s pants catch on fire.

  14. Can someone explain Speed 2’s weird Lolita subplot that goes nowhere? In the film, Jason Patric uses sign language to bond with a teenage deaf girl who’s on the cruise with her family. A scene or two later, an apparently jealous Sandra Bullock is seen watching the Lolita (the 1962 film) on TV. Then, later in the movie, Jason Patric has to rescue the deaf girl and she confesses her crush to him, telling him that she’ll be fifteen in a few months, to which Jason Patric politely lets her down. The deaf girl is not seen or referenced again and Jason Patric’s sign language ability never comes back into play. It all feels like maybe it was a plot thread that got scrapped, but if that’s the case, what the hell did they have in mind originally?

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