The Best New Amazon Releases: Stormblood of Life

A major MMORPG expansion, an under-the-radar 3DS RPG, a sci-fi thriller, and batch of classic flicks in HD round out this week’s helping of new Amazon releases!

E3 2017 is now in our rear-view mirror, but there’s something else worth focusing on… THE TALKING SIMPSONS PATREON! Yes, Hank and Bob quit their jobs to dive deeper into cartoon-focused entertainment with Talking Critic, interviews with influential Simpsons creators, and exclusive videos! We’re so amped about it, we discussed the immense influence of The Simpsons on this week’s Laser Time, so give that listen, too! Both Talking Simpsons dudes will also be on hand for the LIVE commentary of Spaceballs, so be sure to stop by on Monday for that! While we’ve got content out the wazoo for y’all, there’s also some sweet new Amazon dot corn releases, including some great Japan-developed RPGs and some intruiging movies worth seeking out. Remember, if you have Amazon Prime, you’ll score 20% off new physical releases during their launch window. Additionally, anything you purchase after clicking one of these links will send some scratch to Laser Time… it doesn’t have to be any of the products on this page; literally ANYTHING you buy that visit helps us out. Anywho, onto the new stuff!

Final Fantasy XIV Online Complete Edition
As far as game redemptions go, few titles had the turnaround of Final Fantasy XIV. After a disastrous initial release, Square Enix could have easily cut bait, let the game languish, and returned to standard Final Fantasy experiences. However, Realm Reborn properly relaunched the MMORPG (or as Donald Trump calls them, an MM…ORPG) to the point where it freaking sponsored WrestleMania and gave us the lovely visual of Kofi Kingston as a Red Mage… but I digress. Stormblood comes with epic new quests, an increased level cap, and the new classes modeled by The New Day. Whether you’re buying the core game and it’s expansions via The Complete Edition or Stormblood via a standalone package, you’ll save plenty of Gil with Amazon Prime thanks to the 20% discount!

Ever Oasis
Even if E3 doesn’t paint a bright 2018 for the 3DS after this year’s strong slate, Nintendo’s budget-priced portable still has plenty of time left as the premiere destination for JRPGs. Ever Oasis is proof positive of that as established 3DS developer Grezzo (Ocarina 3D, Majora’s Mask 3D, Flower Town, and, uh, Tri Force Heroes) brings their knowledge of adventures, puzzles, and teams of heroes onto the system best fit for devoting dozens of hours into an epic story. Plus, that’s the perfect RPG name that I can’t believe hasn’t been utilized yet. Anywho, Ever Oasis can be had for ever so cheap as you’ll score 20% off if you have Amazon Prime.

Here we have yet another space-travel thriller in the vein of Interstellar, Gravity, Alien: Covenant, and Arrival, and while SCIENCE says I should be tired of the genre at this point, I’ve found myself very curious about Life. It’s got a notable cast featuring the likes of Ryan Reynolds and Jake Gyllenhaal and the always-intriguing premise of a foreign agent killing a hapless space crew one-by-one, light-years away from proper help. The next time I feel afraid about current events here on Earth, I’ll be sure to pop Life in my Blu-ray player and consider how bad things can be in outer space, too!

The Lawnmower Man
While The Matrix is touted as the top tech-inspired action-thriller of the 1990s, The Lawnmower Man makes an understated case for that very long and descriptive superlative. Like the best Stephen King adaptations, TLM uses the text as a jumping-off point instead of a script, and this look at VR is just as potent now as tech companies scramble to perfect the tech as it did 25 years ago.

Joe Versus The Volcano
Is this right here the last Tom Hanks screwball comedy? No, Ladykillers doesn’t count, as this is the last of T. Hanks’ bread and butter where he plays an Everyman thrust into an insane situation. While JVTV isn’t as fondly regarded as the likes of Splash, Big, Burbs, and Dragnet, it was the first team-up between frequent romantic team Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Yes, before they met in Seattle and traded emails, they were contemplating a jump into a volcano. Even a bad Tom Hanks movie still has plenty of Hanks charm, so this HD version is well worth a watch for fans of 80s and 90s romcoms.



Kingdom Hearts III
Red Dead Redemption 2
South Park: The Fractured But Whole
Death Stranding
Final Fantasy VII Remake
Super Mario Odyssey
Mario + Rabbids Kingdom Battle
Assassin’s Creed Origins
Crackdown 3
Destiny 2
Call of Duty: WWII
Middle-Earth: Shadow Of War
God of War
The Evil Within II
Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus
Metro: Exodus
Monster Hunter World
Metroid: Samus Returns
Dragon Ball FighterZ
Marvel vs. Capcom: Infinite

One thought on “The Best New Amazon Releases: Stormblood of Life

  1. “Life” fucking sucks. It’s a cliched and flavorless movie that somehow manages to be even DUMBER than Prometheus, which is saying something.

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