Paul Thomas Anderson’s Boogie Nights turns 20 years old and Laser Time is going hog wild! Check out 5 famous movie scenes with male nudity (with your favorite LINE cartoons covering up the twigs and berries). It’s kinda not safe for work, but also kinda safe for work. Depends on where you work!
Mark Wahlberg’s prosthetic peen is the stuff of legends, truly the Cadillac of cock. Wahlberg apparently held on to it after filming, which is honestly a bit weird but whatever, you do you Mark. Mark’s Wahlberg left its mark on cinema, and the last two decades have unloaded plenty of phalluses on a world previously only accustomed to Harvey Keitel’s kielbasa.
But Here are the five most important wieners of the post-Dirk Diggler era in no particular order! Don’t worry, we’re using our favorite LINE photos to tastefully cover anything offensive.
Michael Winterbottom’s 2004 film tells the story of a young couple over the course of a year and features music by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Franz Ferdinand, Primal Scream, and the Dandy Warhols.
It also features unsimulated sex between the two leads (played by Margo Stilley and Kieran O’Brien). The Guardian called it the most explicit mainstream film to date. Which seems accurate, it’s one of only a couple of non-porno films I can think of that features not only boners, but a money shot.
Switching to the small screen, the 2017 adaptation of the Neil Gaiman novel of the same name features one hung genie.
Now streaming on Amazon Prime, American Gods tells the story of Shadow Moon as he figures out what to do after his wife dies servicing his best friend, but doesn’t show his penis at all. Which, I guess is fine, I’m not necessarily here to see wieners.
Then episode three happens.
An unnamed Jinn takes Salim, a sad sack salesman, to bonertown in his taxi in what is probably the show’s sweetest storyline. A storyline that features some explicit genie boning.
THE BROWN BUNNY
Vincent Gallo might be a scumbag.
You can currently visit his website and purchase his genetic sample for a cool million dollars. I mean, it’s probably a joke; it’s just not a very good one.
Anyways, that’s not important. What is important and relevant to you is where we can see his dingus.
2004 was apparently a banner year for seeing blowjibbers on the silver screen because it also featured Gallo’s gallo (it’s Spanish for rooster) ((I’m very clever)) being pleasured orally by the usually pretty good Chloë Sevigny who I think was dating Gallo at the time. Or that’s a fact I just made up. I guess we’ll never know.
I think she was playing a ghost in the movie for whatever that’s worth to you. I dunno. It’s not a very good movie.
NYMPHOMANIAC VOLUME 1 & 2
This movie has dongs for days, which can’t be surprising given the title.
If you ever want to feel uncomfortable and kinda bummed out check out this 2013 Lars von Trier flick which has everything (to quote Stefon); BJs on trains, an interracial three way, Shia LaBeouf, and a sense of everlasting dread.
Dicks aren’t just for titillation!
A well-placed penis can really liven things up and spruce up an otherwise penis-free movie like it did to The Hangover.
I’m not really a fan of Todd Phillip’s comedy trilogy, but it’s cool if you are, I’m not gonna judge you. Just kidding, I’ve already judged you.
The first movie of the bunch features Ken Jeong’s member just hanging out in the desert. I don’t remember why, or anything else about the movie, I mostly remember watching this at my aunt and uncle’s house with them and my cousins and us all feeling real uncomfortable the entire time.
Got any memorable post-BN male nudity movie memories? Let us know about it in the comments below! Also, listen to us discuss more of Boogie Nights on this week’s Thirty Twenty Ten via the embed below!