Star Wars: The Last Jedi – Rey Parentage Betting Odds

While it’s been hinted at that the Rey parentage won’t be addressed at all in The Last Jedi, there’s nothing Mos Espa gamblers love more than an open wager. Here are the ((very)) (un)official odds!

They say that whenever you gamble, eventually you always lose. Prove that prophecy wrong with the correct tips right here on the mother and/or father of one, Rey [insert last name here].

Luke Skywalker – 3:2

The perennial favourite, which also makes him a low yielding wager. Although this beat reporter is seriously hoping this isn’t true, I can’t ignore that this is an Abrams property, and we all remember how handsomely the Hutts were paid off when a few ambitious gamblers wagered on Benedict Cumberbatch being anyone but Khan. As much as we want a bombshell like Darth being Luke’s father, a 15:1 bet at the time, it’ll probably end up being predictable like Palpatine being Darth Sidious which after one film was at a dismal 1:100.
Luke’s got the force powers. He’s got a huge gap in the chronology, and he’s got numerous excuses for leaving a force sensitive daughter on a backward world that looks like Tatooine. If you want a safe reliable pick, Luke’s your guy.


Leia Organa & Han Solo – 4:1


We all know the Star Wars movies love keeping it in the Skywalker family, almost as much as they love long scenes of awkward exposition where they explain away confusing plotlines. There’s perhaps no real reason they should just dump their daughter off on a desert world. There’s also no real reason Leia tries to insist she’s on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan when she was just seen fleeing from the Battle of Scarif. Maybe her decision making and judgement isn’t that strong. Maybe Han and Leia couldn’t afford to raise two children in a post empire economy, and this being a long long time ago, they had to keep the boy. Also, Rey said in her thoughts that Han was like a father figure to her. If you remember your grade 9 English for anything, it’s foreshadowing. Again, this is maybe one of the more obvious picks, but hey, maybe I should just never tell you the odds.

Snoke – 20:1

I don’t have high hopes for this pick. Maybe if we knew anything more about Snoke. Like, anything. At all. Seriously. I mean how is this revelation supposed to resonate when we’re still stuck on “Who is Snoke?!” Remember that we at least knew Darth Vader to have been a pupil of Obi Wan’s at one point. Going by just the films, what do we know? That he’s bad, he’s got Picard head, and that he insists on oversized holographic projections of himself. I’ll stretch out on a limb and guess that he probably uses those projectors even when he’s in the next room.
It’s certainly likely to be someone from the movies themselves and not an EU property, but I think we need to know more about Snoke before seriously considering this pick. If this remains a mystery up to Episode 9, expect stronger odds at that time.

Obi-Wan Kenobi – 30:1

His voice was heard in episode 7, but the timeline just doesn’t match up. It’d help for the drama if the actor that played her parent was actually you know, living, and able to do scenes, Leia notwithstanding. (Oh, look what I just brought up…) But hey, it sounds intriguing, and is just random enough that it might be the payday you want to afford that brand new speeder.

Sheev Palpatine – 25:1

Not completely outside the realm of possibility. True, the timeline doesn’t quite fit, but when the force is concerned, maybe that doesn’t matter. Heck, we already assumed Brienne of Tarth has miraculously survived the Starkiller explosion even before the movie ended, so why couldn’t Sheev survive his? Just consider the epic scope! Rey, being the daughter of the former evil emperor. It’s a carbon copy of the Empire Strikes Back plot, much like how Force Awakens was a carbon copy of the Star Wars plot. If you have any large bounties on your head you need to pay off to the Hutts, consider this wager.

Someone Else Named Leia – 100:1

Picture this. Rey is locking sabres with Kylo. He stands defeated, regretful of the trap he left his mother in. As she raises her blade for the final strike, Kylo utters two words. “Save, Leia.” Shocked, Rey lowers her blade. “WHY DID YOU SAY THAT NAME?”
I know, it sounds ludicrous, the kind of plot twist no one would be stupid enough to employ in a major motion picture, but think about it. Rey has met her parents. They aren’t a total mystery to herself. She knows of another person named Leia, but does she know she’s Kylo’s mother? It’s a darkhorse, to be sure, but we know the Star Wars movie love to copy. We may not speak of that other film that does this – I mean if I put money on Batman and Superman calling a truce on their fight to the death because they discovered their moms had the same name, I wouldn’t even have to write these stupid articles, but NO, I had to go and find confusing spoilers and assume that it ends with Batman KILLING Superman and wager everything on that.
Sigh, look, the point is, spread your wagers. Don’t just put everything on Sebulba.

Immaculate Conception – 200:1

Just no.

PROP BETS

3:2 – Rey has a bad feeling about something.

1:1 – Finn has a bad feeling about something.

4:1 – Kylo Ren has a bad feeling about something.

1:50 – C-3PO has a bad feeling about everything.

125:1 – Finn and Poe kiss.
Look I know fans are craving this, but look, the movie has to sell tickets in Russia. This just isn’t happening.

1138:1 – Someone says “I’m so sick and tired of all of these, Star Wars.”
It won’t happen, but I very much want it to.

 

Who ya got? Let us know your theories in the comments! Check out the Laser Time Youtube channel for more Star Wars-y goodness and come back here on Friday the 15th for our LIVE reactions to The Last Jedi!

4 thoughts on “Star Wars: The Last Jedi – Rey Parentage Betting Odds

  1. I actually think it will be an immaculate conception. It makes a lot of sense given how the movies are cyclical, thematically, and how she is the MOST powerful Jedi we have ever seen on film since Darth Vader (she shows high-level force mastery FAR quicker than anyone else we have seen in the films….except Anakin)

    This would also make her part of Luke’s family…she would be his aunt since she and Anakin, Luke’s father (spoiler!), share the same father; the force itself.

    It would also make sense given how Anakin’s lightsaber speaks to her in Force Awakens, why has it not done this to anyone else, ever?

    One last thing: Anakin was the prophesized one who brought balance to the force, which he did. He was the physical manifestation of the Force. A Force Jesus if you will. When he came around, the light side jedi vastly outnumbered the dark side sith. By the time his work is done (when A New Hope Starts) there is one master and one apprentice for both sides, balance.
    Luke and the rebels threw that out of balance and inadvertently bring on another imbalance. When force awakens opens it seems that things have gone the other way (though we do not know enough to really be certain of the balance/imbalance of the force at this moment) so the cycle begins again, with Rey being born to balance the force, this time having to bring more light to the darkness in the world. This would also fit nicely with Kylo Ren’s obsession with Vader. He is TRYING to be as powerful as Vader, not understanding that this natural power was Vader’s God-given gift from being born of the force. When he fights Rey and sees that she is already as powerful as he and that she may very well surpass him with very little effort it enrages him. It actually makes him a bit more tragic and interesting if this is the case, almost like Syndrome from the Incredibles (kid is a fan of super-powered being, tries to be like super-powered being through hard work and ingenuity, is bested anyway because he just was not born with the same advantages). Kind of fucked up when you think about it.

    Also….the last movie was called the Force Awakens….As in it has manifested itself again, just this time as Rey.

  2. I’m hoping it is Luke. I know everybody is like “eh that’s boring and the obvious answer” when the obvious answer WAS she was leia’s daughter. I don’t care if it is ‘obvious’ as it is what I want and the road to revealing this truth can make it more compelling. Luke is my favorite character and I’d love if he had a daughter to carry on the legacy.

    My personal prediction for the story will go something like:
    1) Luke revealing he had a daughter named ____ (anything not named Rey) and that Kylo is responsible for her loss and he is upset. Rey feels bad for him.
    2) Kylo and Rey face off again in a big moment and Kylo attempts to turn Rey to the dark side so he can finally kill Luke Skywalker
    3) During the above persuasion attempts, Kylo reveals something along the lines of ‘your name isn’t Rey, it’s ____ (the name from earlier) and Luke abandoned you and force wiped your memory of him”.
    4) During this feeling of abandonment and betrayal (which the abandonment was a key part of TFA), Kylo attempts to use those bad feelings swelling inside of Rey to turn her mostly against Luke and into the dark side. All it takes is one key push and she can fall.

    Reasons for the above prediction.
    1) In an official accompanying visual guide to TFA, the helmet Rey is seen wearing in the movie belongs to a pilot named Rey. She could have easily found that as a kid and took the name if she had no idea what her name was anymore (force memory wipe).
    2) Rey can speak Wookie. Wookies aren’t that common in the galaxy and certainly not on Jakku so that is a headscratcher. Sure she COULD have learned it from a data bank on the walker but she could have also learned how to speak it from her father considering one of her ‘uncles’ was Chewbacca, a wookie.
    3) Rey can speak and understand droids like BB8. Finn cannot do this while Rey can with no problem. This is significant because droids are rare on Jakku which is seen with the high price offered for BB8. Rey would have had little longterm exposure to a droid like that. However if she grew up with Luke, she would have been exposed to his BFF R2D2 her entire life and likely learned the skill from that experience.
    4) Her force powers are beyond novice. She appears to have been trained in basics (which Luke would have known how to override with his force wipe but Kylo wouldn’t have). Jedi training on any scale is pretty much barren unless you’re the offspring of the only real jedi left, Luke Skywalker.
    5) She was put on a desert planet for isolation and safety. Luke personally had this happen to him and knows it worked so he did it for his daughter.

    An alternate to my idea that follows the above principles is that Luke adopted her from some reason or her parents were apprentices to him and he took on the obligation of her after Kylo slaughtered the parents.

    I don’t need shock and awe game of thrones style shit to be captivated in a new star wars movie and I hate that is now the expectation. Something obvious can still be amazing depending on how the story is told. In comics and Star Wars, we all know the heroes win. However the journey to that is what makes the story so fascinating and intriguing. Same deal here.

    Also I reject the TFA is a carbon copy of ANH. Finn rescues Poe early on, what is that a carbon copy of from ANH? The battle of takodana is like what scene from ANH?

    Poe is the one who destroys the base, not Rey.

    Rey fights Kylo, I don’t remember Luke fighting Vader with lightsabers and shit in ANH.

    Han dies trying to save his son from the darkness. Obi Wan dies because he was old and had arthritis (I’m honestly still confused why the hell he sacrificed himself).

    The point of ANH is to destroy the Death Star. The point of TFA is to find Luke. I don’t recall ANH ending with Luke finding Yoda after that being his main purpose in ANH.

    The point of firing Starkiller base was to straight up fuck the Republic up the ass, it didn’t have a damn thing to do with finding plans or interrogating or anything. Just a straight up middle finger and dick twirling. In ANH, the point of the Death Star firing was to intimidate and fuck over Leia. They didn’t blow the ass out of Coruscant.

    Who the hell is the Maz carbon copy in ANH?

    Rey doesn’t learn shit about her family from Han unlike Luke who learns some key bits about his from ANH. Luke is essentially goaded into action by Obi Wan and wants to get the fuck off Tatooine. Rey doesn’t want to leave Jakku but does so willingly but still intends on returning. Han offers her a job out of pity (and maybe recognizing she is his niece…) but doesn’t force her into shit. If anything, Maz does that by mentioning what she seeks is in front of her, not behind.

    Rey doesn’t see her family’s scarred remains after they were murdered by stormtroopers which spurs her into action. She just gets attacked by the First Order because of BB8.

    When Kylo injures Finn, what’s the analog of that scene to ANH? I don’t remember any significant injuries except maybe R2.

    What is the analog of Finn crashing on Jakku?

    I believe that is enough to make my point that anybody who says “ANH is a carbon copy of TFA” is talking out of their ass and doesn’t know nearly enough about either movie to say that. A mild analysis reveals significant differences between them. There are similarities OBVIOUSLY but that doesn’t make it the same fucking movie. So by saying it is the exact same movie, you aren’t being some “cooler than school, deep intellectual, i can see above the star wars hype for what it really is” hipster but instead just an ignoramus.

    1. I agree that TFA is not a complete carbon(ite) copy of ANH, just that it “borrows” a lot of similar elements to make people feel that sense of familiary and nostalgia – something that was needed to help get the taste of the prequels out and draw old fans back in, while also using things that worked before to draw in new viewers. (My wife, for instance, doesn’t really enjoy the original movies because they feel dated to her, but really enjoyed TFA.)

  3. And… betting is closed.

    It was always a dead end, plot-wise. We barely know Rey at this point, and she’s such a typical Mary Sue but at the same time, the first really powerful female Star Wars character outside of Ahsoka Tano, so it’s kind of a “fuck you” to female empowerment to have her only have powers and plot importance just because she’s related to someone.

    Also, they already remade Ep4 with Ep7, so we didn’t need them to go over the same plot twist as Ep5.
    I’m glad she’s not related to anyone.

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