The Worst Oscar Winners Ever – Laser Time

The Academy Awards are almost here, so we’re taking a look at the definitive worst Oscar recipients of all-time. Yes, we all have our personal Best Picture punching bags, but we’ve unearthed a batch of cinematic stinkers that provably suck according to raw science!


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17 thoughts on “The Worst Oscar Winners Ever – Laser Time

  1. Chris is wrong. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is the best.

    I’ve kind of lost interest in the Oscars anyway. It’s supposed to be the big, definitive awards for the greatest movies of the year, but it’s only movies from a single country that are in contention. A few others sneak in there now and then, but meh. It’s like the World Series. The rest of the world isn’t invited.

  2. GOD DAMMIT GUYS! I don’t lie to myself every month promising that I’ll finally sign up for your patreon only to have Dave say “on the Pearl Harbor”! Lay off the sauce and keep it professional!
    Seriously though great episide over 300 episodes and you still manage to keep it up with interesting topics. I promise you will be the first patreon I sign up for you guys have been my foavorite podcast/podcast network for years. Whenever I’m going through a tough time I go through your back catalogue amd it never fails to cheer me up. Thanks guys let me know when you finally bust out collectible action figures. I’d buy a Hank the Tank figurine in a heartbeat

  3. This could be like when Omar and Mike would take out the trash as kids a good ep! But speaking of shite Oscar winners the fact that Cuba Gooding Jr, Anne Paquin Jamie Fox’s and Adrian Brody have won one kinda invalidates them and Leo’s was an act of sheer sympathy just everyone gozing (dude enough please stop take this and stop)

  4. I feel like lost in he Crash winning Best Oscar sitch is the overlooking of Brokeback Mountain’s flaws namely the grossed over effect that their relationship had on their wives which idk as a gay teen at the time I felt a lot of empathy for them and felt like the protagonist where shitty for stringing them along for their own self preservation and felt like I’d never do that to some fella no matter where I lived in the country I’d rather be single than waste someone’s time in a shame marriage and I couldn’t look past that

    1. Basically what I’m saying is the movie’s desire to paint them as sympathetic figures irked me if it was more like Fatal Attraction or Unfaithful I’d fee better about it..:while I’m here I also have issues with Boys Don’t Cry which I think makes me a heretic in the gay community I just also have issues with the main character both in movie and IRL aside from the rape and murder I feel he was KIND OF a cad.

      1. Brokeback DESERVED to lose, it’s a mediocre flick at best..
        If it were a straight couple doing the EXACT same thing, it would have been forgotten, it only got its praise (I think) because of its gay slant on a tired premise.

  5. I’ll defend The Hurt Locker. It may not be a mainstay of my movie watching but it was really well directed and maybe the only good movie based in a modern combat setting? Great performances all around, too. I think it suffered from being a character study in a genre defined by epics. Also I think there was a decent amount of backlash from the service commmunity (if Amazon reviews are to be believed) over some of the liberties taken with military protocol for the purposes of driving the plot. I recommend it at least once, if for no other reason than to appreciate its ability to crank the tension.

  6. My favorite personality on Laser time podcast is Dave Rudden. Glad he’s doing a job he loves, but for me, try to get him on more please.

  7. I like crouching tiger a lot, but it’s fine if Chris doesn’t. I had a thought listening to this podcast, the busy movemakers who vote for Oscar winners probably only watch most things once and the second and third watch of a movie does change your thoughts.

  8. I don’t *hate* Forrest Gump but it is entirely overrated and did not deserve the Oscar that year IMO; meanwhile, I’m with Chis on Gladiator and really do not like it at all. In fact, I really think Ridley Scott only has a handful of good movies and do not care when he’s attached to a new project because of all the crap I’ve seen him direct.

    I really just don’t care about the Oscars at all as I’ve gotten older, because it rarely (if ever) recognizes what will be culturally relevant and constantly revisited (i.e. anything genre) and I realized there’s no point in getting mad anymore because if a movie is undeserving it’ll just be forgotten about.

  9. I’m super excited for this episode! Although it does feel kinda wrong to have an Oscar conversation without Diana…

    That’s like having a Planet of the Apes episode without Chris… Or a wrestling episode without Dave.

  10. Sadly, Chris, it is true that kids watch Pearl Harbor in high school. We watched it in my history class when I was a junior, which was 2001–02, so it was very new at the time, and I have no reason to believe history teachers aren’t still trotting it out when they want a solid two days off from trying. Me and two of my friends MST3K’d the shit out of it, and the teacher didn’t care, because he was a coach, and coach-teachers give zero shits.

    And while I can see where Matt is coming from about Forrest Gump, I will argue that hatred toward baby boomers is rarely if ever misdirected.

  11. Man, I have so many “seeing it in theater” stories for this episode:

    Gladiator: For some reason, this screened a month early at the on-base theater, which never happened before, and I somehow got tickets. I wanted to ask this girl I liked that , of course, I teased relentlessly, because I was 15 and didn’t know how to talk to girls. I left early to catch the bus, so I could go to her bus stop instead, and my mom called out to me on my way out the door “Are you going to see that ~girl~? Are you gonna ask her out to your ~movie~? Do you ~LIKE~ her?!” “NO MA! I’M JUST GOING TO STOP BY THE DONUT SHOP FIRST TO GET SOME COFFEE! LEAVE ME ALONE!” *SLAM DOOR DRAMATICALLY* My mom got in my head, and I got so mad, because I was a dumb teenager. I didn’t ask her, and didn’t even go to the screening. I ended up dating her a year later, after she finally broke down and was like “look, are we gonna go on a date, or are you just gonna keep leaving dumb pranks on my doorstep?”

    King Kong: I chaperoned my little brother’s date to see this one. He was 14 or 15 at the time, and I was in college. For some reason, he thought it would be nice to bring a date for me, so his girlfriend’s best friend tagged along. Now, I’m like 20 at this point, and I had a girlfriend – he had met her several times – but now I’m on a “double date” with my little brother and a 15 year old. I was so scared that someone would see me and think I was some kind of pervert. My little brother awkwardly tried to make out the whole time, and my “date” literally made phone calls during the movie. I don’t remember anything about that movie, other than Jack Black going “TWAS BEAUTY SLAYED THE BEAST!”

    Master & Commander: Went to see this with a group of friends. During the part where Russel Crowe gets left on an island, one of my friends leaned over and asked “Why doesn’t he just call them and have them turn the boat around to pick him up?”

    It’s kinda like a super “30-20-10” post!

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