Maimed in Toyland – Vidjagame Apocalypse 294

With the holidays looming large and Super Smash Bros. Ultimate tying up everyone’s Switches, GameXplain/IGN alum Micah Seff helps us celebrate by talking about five iconic killer toys that come to life and try to murder people. (It makes sense in context, we swear.) We then switch gears to talk Smash, Ashen, Earth Defense Force 5, Hades, The Game Awards, your favorite obscure game-music tracks, and a whole lot of other stuff in a nearly three-hour megashow!

Question of the Week:
Tell us a toy you remember REALLY wanting for the holidays as a kid that you may or may not have received as a gift, and if it lived up to your expectations.


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9 thoughts on “Maimed in Toyland – Vidjagame Apocalypse 294

  1. Qotw: I always wanted a Talkboy after seeing it in Home Alone 2. I never did get one for Christmas, and I think it was released a year or 2 after the actual movie was released and by then, it didnt seem as cool…or maybe I’m just bitter

  2. Thank you Michael, I am enjoying my summer, thought it has been pissing down rain the last couple days,
    In regards to the qotw I didn’t really get toys much for Christmas growing up, mostly just videogames, because that was a pretty safe gift for my parents to get me that they at least knew I would use, nothing too ballin but I always got something worthwhile

  3. QotW: Well this is embarrassing. The toy I really wanted is just this year. A Pip_boy 2000 kit from Thinkgeek/Bethesda, My wife bought it for me for my birthday and I’m currently building it and love it. Sure there’s more plastic than I may like but the attention to detail is insane.

    For being a kid…my favorite Christmas toy I wanted and got was an original Power Rangers MegaZord. I played with it until it fell apart.

  4. When I was 10, I think, it was the model 2 Sega Genesis, with Sonic 2 included. It was a couple weeks before Christmas and I had to go to the bathroom, I snuck out and saw my dad wrapping it. The next day we were in a store and he asked if I wanted anything else. I had not previously asked for a Genesis, so I did now. He asked why and I lied and said it was because I saw a commercial for it. He told me I had to go tell Santa. I had stopped believing in Santa before this, he knew this. He told me in order to get a Genesis, I had to go tell Santa. So I did. The lap, the candy cane, the picture, the whole deal. He hung that picture where everyone could see it. It was so embarrassing. Of course, I got the Genesis and loved it.

  5. QOTW
    My answer happens to be related to games, actually. When I was 7, I was obsessed with getting a Nintendo 64. I had played the various games at friends houses and combined with the relentless advertising, I had been totally roped in. The N64 may as well have been the only thing on my Christmas list.

    Imagine my surprise, then, when I unwrapped the game console sized gift I had received and found this gray, rectangular hunk of plastic called a Playstation. I had never heard of one of those things before, whereas the N64 was meant to be the greatest thing ever made. I took great care to hide my disappointment, but disappointed I was.

    To cut a long story short, I fell deeply in love with my new system and the games it offered (shout out to Musashi! That’s two weeks in a row!) and I never even thought of getting an N64 after that. And now the Playstation line is my absolute favorite.

  6. One Christmas I decided I wanted an NES. The bundle with TMNT was THE version to have. I begged my parents for it and they were not unsympathetic. If I really wanted it, they’d get it, but it would be that and nothing else.

    I mulled this for quite a while before I decided I preferred quantity of loot over anything else. I cant remember what else I got that year, probably some Ninja Turtle action figures.

    A couple of years later I fell in love with the Sega Game Gear, then the Megadrive same as all my other friends. We were pretty much sega kids from then on.

    Fast forward about 10 years and I made friends with a Canadian and a girl from Forida. They were one of the few adults I knew who still played games. But they had grown up with the NES and Nintendo systems. It was really odd knowing people who essentially had the same hobby as me, but their cultural touchstones were completely different. I was puzzling over Final Fantasy, Mega Man and Mario as much as they didnt get Streets of Rage, Sonic, Toejam and Earl and Gunstar Heroes.

    I did end up with a Nintendo system for one Christmas… my mum visited me in Australia (stupid Summer Christmas) and when we were out shopping she just straight up bought me a Switch…. I had no idea what to do with it, until I played Splatoon and Zelda.

  7. I wrote Santa and begged my mom for a Gameboy every year since I was able to. I was born in 1983, and I don’t remember when the Gameboy came out, but it probably amounted to at least a few years of annual letter-writing campaigns. I used to literally dream about having one of my very own. Probably due to financial constraints at “The North Pole”, it never happened.
    In 199(6?) when I was finally old enough, I mowed lawns and raked leaves around the neighborhood and managed to save up enough money to walk myself down to the local Toys R Us and proudly pull myself a ticket for a Gameboy, Super Mario Land and Cutthroat Island (wish I would have bought Mega Man instead, but Cutthroat Island was far cheaper), buy it and take it home. A short while later, I also happened upon a free copy of O.G. Tetris. This was during the Play It Loud phase of Nintendo’s adolescence, so I got myself a sleek black one, cuz, you know, oh so mature coolness.
    My family got ahold of my Gameboy and copy of Tetris when I wasn’t playing it, and they got so into it that WITHIN A GODDAMMED MONTH there was a second, old-school gray Gameboy in our house.

  8. QotW: As a kid who was super into both Star Wars and Lego, I really wanted the Lego Millennium Falcon. It was far beyond my family’s budget, though. Fast forward a couple of decades and I have a son who is extremely like me and likewise super into Star Wars and Lego. For Christmas, my father-in-law has started buying me Lego sets for us to do together, and last year he got us the Millennium Falcon. It was everything I ever hoped for and more. Doing things I already enjoy with my son exponentially magnifies my enjoyment of them, from playing video games to putting together Lego sets.

  9. QOTW: I’m taking a slight liberty with this answer, because it’s about my sister rather than me. But it’s a story my family members have been telling for over thirty years, to warm and teary-eyed responses.
    My sister fell desperately and immediately in love with Teddy Ruxpin. She wanted nothing more. But it was the most popular and hard-to-find toy at Christmas that year (’86? ’87?). And it was evidently very expensive, particularly for my poverty-line family at the time.
    Mom and Dad sat my sister down and gently explained how sometimes things don’t work out the way we want, and tried to prepare her for the disappointment of not getting Teddy Ruxpin. For her part, she took it very well. She understood that it wasn’t going to happen, and was shockingly mature about it for a four or five year old child.
    Dad still doesn’t remember what last-minute sacrifice he made, a day or two before Christmas. But he just couldn’t take the hurt in his heart of not being able to give his little girl the one thing she wanted most that year.
    And so we were all treated to the most wonderful moment on Christmas morning. My sister tore a big sheaf of wrapping paper off of the front of a box and was suddenly face-to-face with Teddy Ruxpin, smiling out from behind the clear front of his box.
    She gasped with surprise. Had no idea it was coming. And then she leaned up close to the box, nearly close enough to kiss it, and whispered, “Oh, Teddy! You came!”
    It was as pure and perfect a moment as I’ve experienced, and it’s the most important gift I can think of when I reminisce on the holidays of my life.

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