The Best Rap Commercials of the 80s (and 90s)

See all the fat beats and dope 80s rhymes from Laser Time Episode 3!

It would be too cruel to let all the vintage Rap Commercials highlighted in Laser Time Episode 3 languish in audio form. THE SCIENCE IS SIMPLY TOO TIGHT! So, we decided to embed ’em all hear for you to enjoy. Feel free to listen along, lollipops!

The Original Legend of Zelda Rap commercial

Dopest Rhyme: “The Legend of Zelda is really rad. Those creatures from Ganon are pretty bad”

Zelda: Link’s Awakening rap commercial

Dopest Rhyme: “Creepin’ through, with an overhead view, cause a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do

McDonalds – Rappin’ Chicken Nuggets

Dopest Rhyme: “WE LIKE TO RAP! And unwrap too!”

Miller Lite Fat Boys parody starring Joe Piscopo

Dopest Rhyme: “Every rappin’ cat I know, drinks Miller Lite! Ain’t that so?!”

Atari 2600 Rap Commercial – THE FUN IS BACK!

Dopest Rhyme: “The fun is back! Oh yes, siree. It’s the 2600 from A-Tar-E!”

Fruity Pebbles – Flintstones Rap Commercial

Dopest Rhyme: “I’m the Master Rapper and I’m here to say, I love Fruity Pebbles in a major way!”

B-B-B-BONUS: Fruity Marshmallow Krispies Calypso Jam!

Dopest Rhyme: “Orange, Lemon, Raspberry, Shits!”

He-Man: Masters of the Universe –  Spydor Rap Commercial

Dopest Rhyme: “Spydor’s new! To Masters of the U. There’s assembly to do. You need batteries too!”

Little Monsters – 1-900 Dial-A-Rap

Dopest Rhyme: “It’s a ghoulish game, that’s great for a laugh. So win a Fred Savage photo WITH HIS AUTOGRAPH!”

Perfect Strangers / Head of the Class Rap Commercial

Dopest Rhyme: “With Perfect Strangers, and friends like us – problem? Don’t be ridiculous!”

Rugrats Rap

Dopest Rhyme: Milk in the bottle in the Rugrat’s case. They need to squirt that milk in ya big face – BOOM!”

Dragnet – “City of Crime” feat. Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks!

Dopest Rhyme: “They got the girl all frightened. Now that ain’t nice. I think she’s something of a sacrifice!”

Teen Witch – “Top That!”

Dopest Rhyme: “I’m king, and they know it. When I snap my fingers everybody says ‘Show It!'”

If you know of any rap commercials you think we missed, you better fucking tell us in the comments below! Oh yeah and: WE’RE LASER TIME AND WE’RE HERE TO SAY, WE’RE LISTENER SUPPORTED IN EVERY WAY!”

13 thoughts on “The Best Rap Commercials of the 80s (and 90s)

  1. Yes… the time that most of you were born also brought us some of the worst ‘noise’ in all of human history. Why am I not surprised?

  2. After hearing the first 5 seconds of the Rugrat Rap I knew I had heard it someplace else. Turns out it was the mc chris song Tractor Beam. I think it was Kris Kross in the Rugrats Rap. I’m not familiar with them. Is the beat lifted from one of their songs? Or something new made for the Rugrats?

  3. Great episode, except that it cut out in the middle of your ultimate duo crossover conversation. You guys could even expand that out to a top 5 epic duos or something.

  4. Why does the first guy want to show his friend the news letter for Zelda when they have the actual game right there in the room? Am I missing something there? Also its strange that so much effort went into that Dragnet music video without anybody stopping and realizing how awful it is.

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