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Back again, showcasing the week’s best new game and movie releases, upcoming video game pre-order deals, and a couple of kickass comic book recommendations courtesy of our Cape Crisis! Not a lot of heavy hitters, but certainly a good week for oddball curiosities and cheap classics. However, even if you don’t care to buy anything specifically highlighted on the list below, we still encourage you to shop what you do want to buy through the links below or on the right hand sidebars. Don’t want to Donate to Laser Time or buy one of our beat ass T-shirts?! FINE! Simply clicking through Laser Time’s Amazon links and browsing the shopping for anything during that visit nets us a tiny commission to help us keep our special brand of idiocy FREE. To thank you for enduring our weekly lil’ fundraiser, we’re once again offering up a FREE $20 Amazon Gift Card to one lucky commenter. So read on and figure out something insightful to say below!
Perhaps you remember Anne Lewis and I salivating at this with morbid curiosity on Cape Crisis? Is this Guy Pearce-starring space prison saga really as stupid as the TV commercials made it appear? Or, could there perhaps be some righteously badass, pulpy action hidden beneath the silly ass premise and abysmal marketing?! Part of me imagines that somebody saw cheapy cult potential in this out-of-nowhere release, or maybe intentionally crafted a semi-ironic gem and sold a studio on it. Are we looking at something like Repo Man or Evil Dead, or something like The Adventures of Pluto Nash? Either way, I’m dying to find out!
Heroes of Ruin
Dungeon crawlers (especially of the four-player variety) are everywhere thanks to the popularity of Monster Hunter, but this one is at least unique in that it isn’t Japanese is origin. One of the most online focused 3DS games to date, this loot collector aims to be an answer to Diablo for those without a big, beefyPC.
Knights of The Old Republic I & II
The first two KOTOR games, bundled at a fairly cheap price. I only played the first, which I loved the shit out of, although I was steered away from the second just as many others were. Are they worth reliving at $10 a pop. That’s hard to say. Especially when you can pick up the first, BioWare crafted KOTOR on Steam right now for $2.49! From everything I’ve been told, that’s the more memorable one anyway…
Casa Mi Padre
Will Ferrell is a wonderful madman. When he we wasn’t secretly shooting Milwaukee’s Best commercials for no fee last year, he was simulteanously embarking on an Spanish language epic for, I’m assuming, just shits and giggles. Thing is, I don’t know anyone who had the balls to check this weird ass opus out in theaters. Is it actually funny as a film, or the biggest budgeted Andy Kaufman-esque joke concept ever concocted? Somebody fill me in in the comments below… your knowledge could earn you a $20 Amazon Card!
The Three Stooges
Now here’s a REAL comedy! Okay, I can’t even bash this one. For one, I love the Three Stooges to death, and this sure as shit looks true to their brand of silly ass slapstick (to a fault, arguably.) And yes, I’m absolutely dying to see this goddamned thing! I was more than willing check it out in my local cinema, but if you can believe it, I couldn’t get anyone to go see it with me! PHILISTINES! I’m still pumped because I’m either in for a fun surprise, or unmitigated Jersey Shore-referencing horror. Either one should be a blast, and it’s not like the classic Three Stooges stuff is going anywhere.
Quite possibly my favorite Western ever! I mean, I love me some Leone, as well as the more recent Frontier fare like Unforgiven, but those tend to be a modern address to the classic and bygone forumla. This here’s a sincere Western, shot at a time when the genre was at its height and filled with a lot of cheap thrills. Gary Cooper’s Marshall Kane is called back into action to fend off an impending menace, but is largely refused help by cowardly townsfolk and has to face the threat alone. Of course, classic films such as High Noon come with a lot of behind-the-scenes backage that can contextually enhance the viewing experience. The legend goes that the screenwriter was attempting to tell a powerful allegory in regards to the Red Scare at height of McCarthyism, himself blacklisted at that time as “A Commie!” forced to write under a pen name. But Cooper’s performance is an absolute fucking standout here, and you’ll never see an American icon pull off a more pained and pitiable performance. Does it take away to know he was suffering from excruciating ulcer during filming? Not a bit!
Get the Gringo
I know next to nothing about this film, aside from one thing: MEL GIBSON! Speaking as someone who recently took in a viewing of the amazingly restored Director’s Cut of Payback (which Gibson himself had altered to make his character more heroic) it’s unbelievably awesome to see Mel Gibson playing a shitheel, or an anti-hero, now that we know with 100% certainty that he’s an antisemitic, misogynistic asshole IN REAL LIFE! Seriously, it enhances any project a billion fold, and lends his performances as violent fuckfaces a ton of authenticity. Directors out there should be falling over themselves to cast him as villains, because from here on out, the audience is sure as shit gonna believe it! Again, I know nothing about this film…
Singin’ in the Rain
Here’s a weird one to recommend! If Laser Time has a definable demographic, Singin’ in the Rain certainly ain’t a part of it. But I do love it so! And trust me, I’m not one for old timey, sing-songy musicals, but I’ve always enjoyed this one from time to time. For one, if you happen to enjoy a silent throwback like The Artist, this celebrates silent film in a similar fashion, only it did it years earlier, while viewers who remembered the era were still young remember it fondly. In addition to lavish musical numbers, it’s a thoroughly enjoyable, funny tale of Hollywood’s awkward transition from the silent era to what we now constantly refer to as “talkies” and it gets a “classic” pass from me where a ton its contemporary musicals do not. Honestly, I’m not sure why… Also available in a big ass Collector’s Edition!
UPCOMING VIDEO GAME AMAZON BONUSES – Pre-order and support Laser Time
Listed in order of release date
Kingdom Hearts 3D Dream Drop Distance
-FREE AR cards that unlock exclusive in-game Dream Eater with pre-order
Persona 4 Arena *NEW*
-FREE Persona 4 Arena Arranged Soundtrack based on the music of Shoji Meguro
The Last Story *NEW*
-Pre-order and receive a 44-page softcover Art Book in a special custom case
Sleeping Dogs 360 | PS3
-FREE Martial Arts Pack, with Shaolin Showdown mission, Shaolin Warrior outfit (with increased striking damage), Bonus Triad XP points, and Wing Chun decoration for your safe house with pre-order
-Free Andrew Luck Future Stars Draft Pick Madden Ultimate Team Card for immediate use in Madden 12
Far Cry 3 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order and receive Amazon-exclusive Warrior Pack.
Tekken Tag Tournament 2 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order for early access to two DLC characters, Angel and Michelle Chang plus the bonus Snoop Dogg stage
Transformers: Fall of Cybertron 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order for Bruticus (G2) to use in Single Player mode
Borderlands 2 360 | PS3 | PC
-$10 in-store credit
Dead or Alive 5 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order for a set of three ‘DOA Devils’ black bunny swimsuits for Christie, Tina, and Ayane
NBA 2K13 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-order for access to NBA All Star Game content including the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest, Three Point Contest, Rising Stars Challenge Game, and the NBA All Star Game
Dishonored 360 | PS3 *NEW*
-Pre-Order for exclusive Backstreet Butcher Pack which includes Bone Charm bonuses for Fencer, Fire Water, and Blast Resistant plus an in-game Wolfhound Statue
Resident Evil 6 360 | PS3
-Pre-order for FREE Exclusive Mercenaries stage – The High Seas Fortress
Assassin’s Creed III 360 | PS3
-EXCLUSIVE: FREE Steelbook Case upgrade with art by Alex Ross
Hitman: Absolution 360 | PS3 -FREE Bartoli Custom Pistol, with built-in, high-spec sight and silencer to give excellent accuracy and an extremely high rate of fire with pre-order
CAPE CRISIS RECOMMENDS: