Here’s hoping that growing a mustache will be the season finale…
Look what your On Demand lifestyles made you miss, kids! If only you were watching last night’s premiere Fox’s world premiere of 24: Jack Saves the Network, you coulda seen an extended look at the upcoming “before Batman” TV series, Gotham. Here you’ll get a glimpse of what I believe is a digitally de-aged Gerard Butler playing famed, eventual Commissioner, Jim Gordon, who will now solve what looks like a massive underground conspiracy with the help of the guy who played a sweaty cab driver on MTV in the mid 90s. LOOKY:
While I was certainly more than prepared to be bored by Gotham, I was thankfully, surprisingly slightly intrigued. That said, fuck prequels of almost every kind. I’m aware we are all slightly curious about the backstories surrounding even the most tertiary of characters from our favorite franchises, but I honestly wish we could quit dramatizing them in overwrought and boring serializations that almost always overstay their welcome. I assure you, almost all the interesting pre-Batman Gordon details that will ever emerge from Gotham could be better presented in a one-hour History Channel talking head-umentary. In fact, if someone at DC could just go ahead and create it’s own fake History Channel, I’d watch the shit out of that.
A.G.E.N.T.S. O.F. shield (which you can find Laser Time’s commentaries for here) takes place in the current Marvel Universe, and I still didn’t find it compelling enough to watch on weekly basis (please let me know if it ever gets there, and I’ll probably make it a point to catch up.) And that’s not a slam on DC either. In the time it takes to watch a “short” 13-episode season of Gotham, I could’ve probably read every ongoing comic actually starring Batman and still have time to catch up on old arcs and watch the Burton movies. And that’s honestly where I think my time is better spent. But what the fuck do I know? Apparently, a show about Superman not being Superman had no problem finding an audience for a goddamned decade.
Easy, Bruce… that’s Wolverine‘s bit
But therein lies the weirdness of Gotham. While I get, and can even appreciate, that shows like Smallville and Arrow are more about finding an audience of young teens than established fans (in hopes of converting the former into the latter) it still gives them an (overly!) prolonged Elseworld quality I find it difficult to care about now, let alone multiple seasons with week-long breaks in between. And before I diverge from alternate realities, DID YOU SEE ALL THE KIDS IN THIS GODDAMNED TRAILER
Jesus Christ… so all of these future costume jobs will somehow play a part in the Gordon-centered TV show? I remember hearing the show had cast a young boy to play Bruce Wayne and immediately cringed at the idea of shoehorning a reason for Gordon and a preteen Bats to meet up and play catch week after week. (Although, if I’m being honest, this relationship is likely the most fertile ground on which to prove me wrong and I sincerely hope Gotham does.) However, the notion that the inauspicious origins of every goddamn one of Batman’s adversaries overlaps at a time when they should all be playing tee ball has my eyes rollin’ harder than Fred Durst on XTC. Seriously, is the show really setting up Jim Gordon to be the stripped-socked Nanny under which they’ll prop up Batman’s Muppet Babies? I’ll be surprised if it’s any more than fictional cameo fodder, and either way, kinda seems like fan service for the wrong reasons…
Okay, I’ll shut up now, chime in with your thoughts below ’cause we’ll probably bring it up on this week’s Cape Crisis. Buy some better Batman stuff below and check out the similarly dorky, needlessly critical look at the stupid fucking Amazing Spider-Man 2 Blu-ray set.
MY FAVORITE BATCRAP: