Vidjagame Apocalypse 68 – E3’s Most Depressing Trailers


Another E3 has come and gone. Was it good for you? If not, too bad, because you’re not getting another one until next year. 2014’s show was a lot more grim and dark than it’s been in a while, at least if you only look at the trailers — so we dedicated this week’s show to the five saddest ones we could remember.  Then there’s some more general E3 discussion, some talk about the blow-up around Assassin’s Creed Unity’s approach to gender, and a look at which E3 reveals got you the most excited.

Question of the Week

If you could gender-swap the protagonist in any game, who would it be and why?



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41 thoughts on “Vidjagame Apocalypse 68 – E3’s Most Depressing Trailers

  1. I feel The Ubz is getting a bad wrap in regards to ACU’s lack of female character, if it’s just a palette swap of the MC then that makes sense and this series has done amazing work with female characters in the past. ACIV had literally one of my favorite characters ever in it who was also a dark skinned woman of color, they deserve some credit. The Suda 51s and Team Ninjas of the world deserve our scorn we need to pick our battles and be more understanding sometimes before we step on the soap box.

    1. I agree whole heartedly and this is phrased better than I probably ever could. Also, if all us straight, white men can have no say in this because we “have no idea” then by the same logic the opinion of a female video game fan like AwkwardLoser should carry all the weight in the world.

  2. QotW: If I could gender swap the protagonist of any game, I would take Tidus from Final Fantasy X and change…. id make…. hrmm… wtf was tidus to begin with again?!

  3. QOTW: Kratos, because I’d be fun to see how the internet would immediately attribute her incessant rage to PMS. And of course, it’d be even more fun to see feminists raging against said accusations.

    1. The lead character of Drakengard 3 is surprisingly close to what I’d imagine a female Kratos to be like.

  4. QOTW: Umm, gender never really matters at all to me when it comes to first-person games as it’s usually never really noticeable aside from the occasional cutscene but I would find it interesting for a Call of Duty game to star a female protagonist. It would show people that nothing really changes about a game when the gender changes if gender is not significant to the story/setting. With all the character hopping Call of Duty has done in the past it’s a shame this hasn’t happened yet at least once.

  5. I think a female Drake (from the Uncharted series (not that I didn’t think you’d be able to figure that out)) would be cool, except that’s basically Tomb Raider.

    And pretty much every example I can think of just goes from being one game to another, already starring an opposite-gender character. The only really interesting one I can think of maybe would be turning Snake from Metal Gear into a woman. Playing a whole Metal Gear game as, say, Sniper Wolf would be interesting. Plus – SNIPING – pew pew!

  6. Since my answers are never chosen, I’ll just say this podcast. Have an episode of everybodies girlfriends and wives and one guy, probably the one who can make podcastery.

    Oh and everyone can eat a bowl of fuck, I would have liked either a new (GOOD) Zelda-lead LoZ game or a gender-swapped Link/Zelda LoZ. Why?

    1. I don’t know why I said “Why?” at the end there. But I’ll add because the series is getting rather stale and what better way to combat both that staleness and the criticism that Link is boring and has no personality than to have a Zelda-led TLoZ who is allowed to have a personality.

  7. QotW: I would love to see the Gears of War games but with Marcus being a woman, would love to see the reactions to that swap.

  8. while I don’t necessarily agree with him, I get what Chris is talking about when he says he wishes he could play as a man in ‘x’ game. the reason I never have a problem playing as a female is because I’m the type of gamer who doesn’t choose to insert himself in the story, and would rather treat the game as a story about other people that I’m enjoying.

    if you’re the type of guy who enjoys a game by imagining yourself in the role of the protagonist I get why you would feel a disconnect with the story. same rules apply to why I can’t get into porn with a black guy in it.

  9. I’m seriously worried about Tyler. I sincerely feel that he’s becoming a bitter, cynical, hipster. He might need an intervention.

    QOTW: Duke Nukem because I feel it would truly encapsulate the ridiculousness of that character and the extremes both sides of this debate go to.

  10. Sorry I called you guys a BroCast a few weeks ago. I was really just kidding the first time, and the Bladed Falcon reacted, so I reacted. Got out of hand. I was probably having a bad day. Sorry, no excuses.

    Anyway, long story short, Lasertime has the best Podcasts, and this is way better than most video game podcasts out there except Retronauts.

    But I still don’t like BladedFalcon.

  11. I would have to say Laura Croft in Tomb Raider. She or I mean he could be Don Croft the Tomb Raider and be voiced by “Jason Statham.” How awesome would it be to have cockney rhyming slang filled cut-scenes with subtitles for the subtitles. The first game could see Don Croft breaking into a Piker Trailer Park in the hopes of finding a new trailer or fighting Ghost with Pam Grier and Ice Cube on mars. Make it a Wii U exclusive and it will easily rescue that system from the brink of obscurity. Jason Statham in “Don Croft and smoking barrels of transporter revolver Italian crank job fall 2015.

    1. All kidding aside; I always wondered what Max Payne would be like if you played Max’s wife as she seeks revenge on those who murdered her family. Would male gamers be as invested in a female protagonist seeking revenge while sporting a constipation grin and popping pills during slow motion reloads. Has there ever been a female revenge game on consoles? Not counting atm’s game Wet.

  12. I have to say, I think this might be my favorite show so far for the actual debate in the middle of it about feminism. The Xbox One “debate” or the AC4 one were less debate and more just agreeing with each other and calling anyone who disagreed conservatives or entitled man-babies.

    This one was a hands-down actual fucking DEBATE and from the inception of whatever damn podcast you guys have done, going asfar back as 2008 Talkradar 1, you guys are at your most interesting when you debate and discuss things.

  13. Nathan Drake, Switch his rugged charm and abs around for an English accent and large boobs. Also change his clothes to booty shorts and a tank top and you the perfect female treasure hun…..wait….SHIT! I just described Lara Croft.

  14. Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2 for obvious reasons. That might be the most creepy, perverted thing I’ve ever said. I’m sorry, please don’t read this.

  15. I just want to say as a white male this whole ‘oh you’re white your opinion doesn’t matter on this’ is bullshit. I side with Chris in that i actually never give a shit or take any particular notice of who i’m playing when I do. Honestly though, I actually really enjoy when a game makes me play as someone I don’t identify as. Freedom Cry was fantastic for that reason as it showed me a perspective that I legitimately can’t understand or comprehend. Child of Light as well was really cool playing as a little grow who grows independent over the course of the story, and if anything this shows that we are starting to get these experiences more and more often.

    I love games that let me get a peak into other cultures and ways of life, but I in no way feel the need to expect or demand it from a company and that they change their own creative vision to do so. I want it to come from a place of genuine creative interest, and not from a place of quota meeting to placate an angry internet that will never be happy with what you do.

  16. inFamous would be cooler with a female protagonist. Really a superheroine game would be pretty cool.

  17. Metal Gear Solid. Either make the Solid Snake character a female clone of “Big Boss” or…as I would prefer, make an MGS game about The Boss. I feel that she is one of the (if not THE) most fascinating female characters in video game history. I would love to experience her story of how she became the legendary soldier that we came to know and love in MGS 3

  18. Btw, you can turn ashes into diamonds. They’re called LifeGems. And know you don’t get magical powers using them.

  19. QotW: Not a gender swap, but I’d be interested in playing a Halo game (that’s not a twin stick shooter) as a female character. They’d have to up the character even more than they did in 4 though since Master Chief barely talks. Otherwise, it wouldn’t make much sense to bother. I’d also find a Zelda game starring Zelda to be fascinating! Using magic or switching to Sheik to take on combat.

    As a genuine gender swap though, I’d love to play as a woman in Rapture (Bioshock). It’d be interesting to see a female take on the loneliness and sadness of such a city and how she handles the little sisters. Apparently you can play as Elizabeth in the second part of Burial at Sea, but that’s a 3 hour what-if story so it doesn’t count.

    Ok, fine! Play as The Boss in a new MGS game. Whatever, I hate this question!

    1. There are two to three incredibly awesome living female Spartan 2’s that a lot of people have been clamoring for years to be included (master chief’s squad mates Kelly and Linda) but 343 seems intent on never touching any characters in the extended universe which sucks.

  20. Tyler! You’re so full of the vinegar on this episode, I LOVE it!
    I’m assuming this was recorded mere days after E3. Tyler sounded tired, and ready to snap back at any comments that reminded him of shitty posts made to PC Gamer articles.

  21. I really never wish I could play as the opposite gender as a game, because I become more immersed in the story being told as that character than trying to envision myself as the character, but I have to say I would love to see a gender swap for the Hyperdimension Neptunia characters. Alright, the games were rather terrible (understatement), but I was so amused at the ridiculousness that I kept playing anyway. But if they changed the genders, the SUPER ANNOYING high pitched squeaky girl voices would go away!! I wouldn’t have to turn my sound off and only read subtitles! Keep the outfits though. ‘Cuz, you know, the game needs a little bit more pointless ridiculousness and fail.

  22. I love the debate in this episode guys! I have to agree with a lot Chris’s thoughts having to do with the right of a white male to debate it in the first place. It’s great to have a first hand opinion, and I understand people can fight their own battles, but the rest of us can’t join in? Is this prejudice on more than one front? Anyway, aside from that I just wanted to point out the trend (which I like, by the way) in futuristic games to have a cool female protagonist. Transistor, Mirror’s Edge, Portal, Beyond Good and Evil, Remember Me, Metroid, and Sanctum are a few I can think of off the top of my head, plus Femshep in Mass Effect makes a pretty great protagonist and I guess we could include Lilith and Maya from Borderlands even though they are just one of four in each. I’m sure there are a few more…

  23. QOTW: I’d really like to see a gender-swapped Snake from Metal Gear, whether it’s Solid Snake or Big Boss. Really though, I’m still hoping we’ll get the World War II-era Metal Gear starring The Boss teased by Hideo Kojima:

    Then, and only then, is when I can feel content with closing the Metal Gear saga once and for all, for real. Finally. Forever.

  24. QOTW – I’d either go with a female Professor Layton because brilliant women are awesome, or a gender swapped Custer’s Revenge. I don’t know why they made the game in the first place but turnabout seems fair.

  25. I want to see a game basically like Uncharted, but starring a female version of Nathan Drake. Hmmm wait just a gosh-darned minute…

    Also, I just want to say that I loved your discussion of World War I. Things certainly got real at the point of the podcast. And I agree with Mikel’s views on AssCreed.


  26. The first game that made me cry was Lost Odyssey. Especially the dream sequences. I dunno, memories to me are super important. In the end memories are all we really own and this was a dude who lived for 1000 years and was stripped of every single memory he had. All the dreams were about really depressing things happening to people that totally didn’t deserve it.

    My cold hard man heart was fighting back the tears during almost every single one of those dream sequences.

    Vandal Hearts, eat your heart out

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