Sex Toy Story 2014: The Next Generation


The gauntlet had been thrown! Who among you will rise to the challenge?! Oh yes, there will be prizes…

Guess what happened last week?! Laser Time’s Peabody award-winning Sex Toy Story: A Celebration of Action Figures Fucking received its first comment in over TWO YEARS. However, what should’ve been a momentous occasion was sadly marred by ridicule and scorn.


“I’ve actually been doing this for years, and have done a much better job” – Vince Kramer, owner and proprietor of Action Figures Fucking

THE NERVE! Well, Vince ain’t exactly wrong. He’s clearly far more devoted to his craft, and he’s got several years worth of photographic evidence to prove it. After all, how many of you abandoned the sacred art of erotic intellectual property infringement the moment our contest concluded as if it were that stupid guitar you gave up on after only a few lessons?

That’s one way to sell death sticks…

Once you’re done hanging your head in shame, stick that chin up and get ready to fight back. I want us to prove Vince wrong. And once again, I figure a prize definitely needs to be involved. What do you say, kids?! Are you ready to put those beloved plastic totems of yours in comprising positions in the name of artistic advancement? Okay then… well, how about a goddamn vidjagame?!


: 1 Video Game of your choice on the platform of your choosing.
RUNNER-UP PRIZE (2): Your choice of T-shirt from the Laser Time Store.

-Snap a picture of your action figures fucking and shit
-Submit it here in the forums before JULY 31st
-Nothing too “rapey.” While I’m sure there’s nothing consensual in regards to the IP owners, make sure your submissions feature only willing participants. This is supposed to be funny…

While uploading your submissions here in the forums is preferable, we’ll also accept entries via our Facebook and Twitter for those of you too damn lazy to make a forum account. Just make sure you tag it appropriately otherwise who knows if we’ll ever see it.

Until then, head over to Vince’s site (where all of the photos in this post derive) and/or our previous Sex Toy Story feature then let the creative inspiration wash over you.

You know, if you really can’t get the point across, feel free to add scaled phallus. 

18 thoughts on “Sex Toy Story 2014: The Next Generation

  1. Oh man, IT’S BACK!

    And I can already hear Brett groaning disapprovingly in the distance 😛

  2. Best contest ever. Even though Brett is presently flashing back to Mr. Data and Captain Picard being forced to bone by his friend, but oh well… sacrifices have to be made.

  3. I can already tell this is going to be special. I look forward to the art gallery that comes out of this.

  4. “I’ve actually been doing this for years, and have done a much better job”

    Excuse me sir, but frankly, your work in the field of compromising sexual position action figure photography is amateur at best. The arrangements are uninspired and the use of dildo accessories comes across as both banal and pedantic. One wonders if you even respect the field.

    *sips wine*

    1. Actually yea, I totally agree. These are somewhat lacking. Though I wanna see what comes out of this. I’m still wondering if I should try to improvise something.

  5. I just answered the call to arms Chris! What do Stallone, Carl Weathers, Charles Barkley and a penguin have in common? They all love to scissor scissor!

  6. Laser Team Assemble!

    Time to see if I can find my old collection of 90’s wrestler action figures.

  7. I am so glad this is happening again. If anyone wants the old pictures from the GamesRadar forum tread I have the majority of them archived & labeled by forum user name.

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