The Running Man, Predator, and No Holds Barred are our brand-new, exclusive, pay-what-ya-want Premium Commentaries…
You guys been asking for more Laser Time movie commentaries, and man, these here are some good eatin’! But let’s be blunt: We REALLY need your support right now. Almost everything we do around here, from FIVE regular podcasts, to our YouTube and Twitch channel, is done for free. We don’t have a lot of ads and we’re almost entirely listener supported, so we occasionally offer up premium commentaries to help keep our lights on. The difference in this case is that Dave and I are out of work. You aren’t just helping keep Laser Time operational, you’re also helping put food on the plates of some of your most regular LT contributors. Keep that in mind as you browse the selection of movies you damn sure should be curious about anyway, because Laser Time is officially proud to present:
THE LA VENTURA COMMENTARIES
While it may appear that one former Bodybuilder/California Governor is the tie that binds this here trio of commentaries (or at least two of the three), it’s actually former Bodybuilder/Minnesota Governor, Jesse “The Body ‘The Mind'” Ventura, a man we last fell in love with as he exposed the vast Jewish Lizard People Illuminati debacle on Laser Time’s Conspiracy Bleary Episode. Today this former wrestler/Modern Truth-seeker is headlining Laser Time’s latest batch of Premium Commentaries.
The Running Man
My God, if you haven’t seen this movie, written by an uncredited Stephen King, you’re in for a decadent 1980s treat! Outside of maybe The Warriors, I can’t think of another classic 80s action film that begs so damned hard for a video game adaptation. Arnold plays a wrongly convicted dude forced to run a most deadly and highly-televised gauntlet of death and Must-See Murder for the sake of his freedom and the delight of millions of people watching. “The Death of Entertainment is The Entertainment of Death!” said the 1980s. And even if their fears were slightly unfounded, the result is gory, hilarious, and unbelievably watchable. Said gauntlet comes with different levels, unlockable rewards and even fucking mini-bosses (including Mr. Ventura as “Captain Freedom”). So if you were wondering where stuff like Smash TV and Gamer took their inspiration, look no further than The Running Man.
Is this the best action movies of the 1980s? Is Predator quite possibly the best Arnold movie?! All of this can be debated, but one thing’s for sure, the Predator is one of the greatest villains in cinema history, and THIS IS THE BEST PREDATOR MOVIE. Period. It’s easy to forget that the Predator has largely starred little more than forgettable garbage ever since, yet the concept of a jet-setting, human-hunting race of aliens has endured and I have to be believe that’s due to the strength of the original 1987 movie, featuring Schwarzenegger, Mr. Ventura, Carl Weathers, Shane Black and more as an elite military team on the run from the ultimate… You know what I’m about to say.
No Holds Barred
Vince McMahon and Terry Hogan’s sweet serenade to the sweetest of all sciences, with just a dash of Jesse Ventura! And you don’t have to be a wrestling fan to watch this weirdly fictional take on the WWE, just so you know. One of my favorite things about the movie is how poorly it depicts it own fans throughout the film, shown as silver-backed, tobacco-spittin’ shitkickers willing to enter a ring made of old tires at the drop of a fart. Seriously, the makers of this movie sought to hide it from you for over two decades, and only recently made it available for non-bootlegy consumption. Which is fucking great, because their shame is your gain. No Holds Barred is one of the best worst movies ever made, and it’s 1989 aspirations have grown exponentially more funny and watchable in the time since then.
LA VENTURA COMMENTARIES: HOW GET?!
-You can get the La Ventura – SILVER Pack simply by donating ANYTHING Laser Time’s Paypal. In the Silver Pack, you will receive Commentaries for The Running Man and Predator.
-Folks who donate more than $5 will receive the La Ventura – GOLD Pack, featuring commentaries for The Running Man, Predator, AND No Holds Barred as an exclusive bonus
-Once we’ve received your donation, your email address will be added to a Google Drive account, where you may download your commentaries. [NOTE: Google Drive is a bit finicky with non-Google/Gmail accounts, so if you’d like to have a different email attached to the Commentary file than the one attached to your PayPal, please make a note of in the Comments section of your PayPal donation field.]
This offer is good until JULY 31st! Pay what you want for Running Man & Predator, Pay over $5 and get the additional No Holds Barred. Get it?! Apologies for any added complication, but we will be standing by to ensure you receive your commentaries. And that includes problems you may’ve experienced with previous commentary packs, which you can find at Laser Time’s Bandcamp Page. For further questions, hit up Chris on Facebook or Twitter.