Cheap Predictions: Pick WWE Battleground 2014 results and win!

On the WWE PPV prediction Battleground, your accuracy could win your choice of wrestler theme closing out next PPV’s Cheap Popcast. Read on for Dave’s picks and then make yours!

Time for more Cheap Predictions! Yes, yet another wrestling article on LaserTime. Speaking of, I hope you’ve donated recently to get Laser Time’s premium La Ventura commentary packs. If, for some reason, you’re the kind of person who has disliked our recent streak of wrestling streams and shows but showed up here, you’ll be happy to know that there’s barely any wrestling chatter on at least two of the three movies (there’s no way we can avoid WWE talk when it comes to No Holds Barred). Anywho, a donation under $5 gets you our running thoughts on The Running Man and Predator (my two favorite action movies of all time), while going over $5 gets you commentary on the worst wrestling movie ever. Now, onto Battleground!

As we’ve been doing for awhile now, the reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of Money in the Bank. I went four-for-seven on the pre-announced matches, due to my hankering for title changes. Layla and The Usos’ victories seemed to catch most by surprise, and as a result, nobody picked a perfect card. Two predictors got six right, so it came down to the main event running time. Moan4Stallone was 2:30 off, while bonsoir was within a minute! Bonsoir IS READY with a closing theme, picking Drowning Pool’s cover of “The Game” to close the show.

Here’s how the prediction contest goes. I’m going to make my picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/double DQ) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker. Just check out my predicions as a guideline.

What does the winner get? Well, you can make your mark on the next PPV-themed Cheap Popcast episode by choosing the show’s closing theme. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out before throwing to our episode-ender. Let’s kick off the predictions!

A part of me is going to miss the Funkadactyls. There are rarely female tag teams in the WWE, and it’s nice to see actual friendships in the Divas division, but I guess this was inevitable. Naomi’s got a huge upside, while Cameron still has a bit further to go, so I’m going to presume the WWE plans to push the person who didn’t say this. Naomi wins.

Hmm, I’d say only 1/4th of this battle royal are genuine contenders; Ziggler, Bo Dallas, Cesaro… as well as Miz Del Rio with an outside chance (no way Sheamus doubles up on titles so unceremoniously). Of the three most probable winners, I don’t see the belt really benefiting Cesaro or Ziggler much, so I’m gonna go with Bo, who’s faux-cheery nature will make for a good feud with Barrett when he returns. I say Dallas wins.

This is the first time I’ve cared for a singles match featuring Jack Swagger in well over a year, but I don’t think he’s quite at the level to stop the rookie’s streak (Cena’s called dibs). Rusev wins.

For perhaps the first time ever, my most anticipated match at a PPV is a Divas title match. AJ and Paige have had great matches with other people, and their only meetings in the ring have been quick surprise wins, so I hope they finally get a lengthy match to showcase their talents. This also might be a proving ground for Paige; if she can put on a good performance in a losse here, it could keep her near the top of the division. I think AJ will likely keep the title until the next NXT upstart comes up, so I say AJ wins.

I was wrong last month, but there really needs to be a status quo change in the tag ranks. Beyond just adding new teams period (I swear, I think I’ve seen the Dusts and Rybaxel fight 18 times this month), the Usos and Wyatts need to move onto other challengers. I think we’ll see the Rhodes wear gold again during the fall, and I don’t think they’ll be grabbing it from the Usos, so I say the Wyatts win.

While part-time Jericho hasn’t had the best record, I think this is his closest match to call that I’ve seen in quite awhile. They’ll likely meet again at Summerslam, but I’m not sure how the context will form. Will Jericho win, forcing Wyatt to seek revenge, or will it be the opposite, with Wyatt eeking out some sort of cheap victory. I’m going to go with the latter. Bray Wyatt wins.

Even though MITB contract winners almost always go on a losing stream before cashing in, I think the WWE needs to make Seth look strong for awhile. Ambrose has already proven to seem bulletproof, as he’s suffered a few losses without it affecting his status. I say Seth Rollins wins, but Ambrose “hurts” him enough that he can’t cash in later.

Finally; a foregone conclusion. Reigns needs to prove himself in singles matches before he can carry the big strap, and even if he was ready, they wouldn’t waste the moment on an off-month three-week-build PPV. Orton needs to find something outside of the title scene soon, and I’m not sure why Kane is billed as a threat anymore. Therefore, I say that John Cena wins in 21 minutes.


Alright, there’s my picks. Sound off below with your match predictions, (the world title match’s running time) as well as a YouTube link to your wrestler theme pick. Good luck, everyone!

25 thoughts on “Cheap Predictions: Pick WWE Battleground 2014 results and win!

  1. Naomi
    Cena 25
    Kudis to wwe fir a slightly unpredictable line up other than main event.

  2. Dat Booty Naomi wins
    Hamburger Del Rio (Alberto Del Rio) wins
    Gary Busey’s son Jack Swagger wins
    Miss Skipsalot AJ Lee wins
    The Truck Driver and the Escaped Con aka The Wyatts wins
    Moongood McQueen(Chris Jericho) wins
    Super Villian in Training Seth Rollins wins
    LOL Cena wins in 24 minutes. Of course he will lay outside the ring for more than he is in the ring but he will win clean with the AARP.

    I chose Barry Horowitz again and from now on I will do that until it is played.

  3. Naomi
    Rusev (was tempted to put Swagger bc of the news with Russia, but if I pick Rusev, either way I win. Would love to see him tap)
    Cena in 22:30

    I also was concocting a crazy idea that Ambrose would hurt Rollins enough that Plan B wouldn’t happen, forcing plan C. Lesnar interferes in the main event and costs Cena the match (allowing Orton to win and defend against Reigns at SS), and then Lesnar and Cena feud because of the screwover. But Cena will prob just win clean.

  4. Cameron over Naomi
    Cesaro wins the Battle Royal
    Rusev over Swagger
    Aj Lee over Paige
    Wyatt tag team over the Usos
    Wyatt over Jericho
    Ambrose and Rollins DQ
    Cena wins the 4 man in 22 minutes

  5. Naomi
    Cena wins with the power of hustle loyalty and respect in 25:30

  6. Adam Rose, Naomi, Bo Dallas, Rusev, AJ Lee, The Usos, Bray Wyatt, Dean Ambrose, John Cena.

    And if I win, I choose Jake the Snake’s Heel theme. “Trust me…”

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