Zero Cringe Fan Fic: Pokemon Edition

fan fic, fan fiction, pokemon

What happens when you take the cringe out of typical Pokemon fan fiction? This!

“You Teach Me and I’ll Teach You”

As he emerged from the steaming shower, Ash Ketchum’s manhood glistened like the cannon of a Blastoise. Gary Oak recalled from the night before that its spray was almost as powerful. How I wish there were two, he thought greedily. Cerulean City boasted the finest suites in all of Kanto, and while Gary thought he’d be staying alone, he was delighted to make room for his former rival. While the Cerulean Gym Leader exhausted both men the day before, they found fire in their passion, which burned hot as the tail of a Charizard.

“Any more of the good stuff?” Ash asked. A smile played on Gary’s lips as he sat up in bed, letting the sheets fall where they may. Ash rolled those milk chocolate eyes. “I’m talking about the powder, you brat.”

“On the dresser,” Gary said with a pout, making no effort to cover himself back up. Ash wasted no time in sniffing another line of Sleep Powder and Stun Spore. “Not too much, my sweet,” cooed Gary. “I’d hate to waste a Revive on you.”

Ash snapped his head back as he inhaled, eyes red with sweet intoxication. Gary laughed as a trickle of blood leaked from one of Ketchum’s nostrils. “Ready to go again?” he asked. No matter how far he traveled, he would always be that simple boy from Pallet Town. Oh God, were they ever that young? Ash Ketchum thought only of earning Pokemon badges, but Gary Oak knew the greatest pleasure came in working for them. His eyes trailed back to Ash’s glorious member, rising like a pink Arbok.

“Have mercy, Ketchum,” Gary said. “My body already feels like it took on the Elite Four. Where’d you learn to use your mouth like that?”

Ash climbed onto the bed, eyes hungry with lust as they swept over Gary Oak’s sculptured, hairless frame. “Let’s just say Doubleslap, Meditate, Mimic, and Light Screen aren’t the only moves Mr. Mime knows.” Gary thought back fondly to Pallet Town, where the Ketchum family’s simple Pokemon spent so many days hunched over in their garden. How Gary loved to watch him garden.

“I should’ve known,” Gary said. “Just don’t let me catch you two-timing with some no-good water type.” He tittered as a pillow smacked him in the face. A gentle scuffle ensued and Ash was once again on top. “I suppose once more won’t hurt,” Gary admitted.

As his mouth lowered to Gary’s nethers, Ash reminded him, “I wanna be the very best.” He wasn’t quite the best, but he was getting better. And he was certainly willing to learn.

Gary Oak shut his eyes in ecstacy. “Like no one ever was,” he moaned.

Article by contributor Scott Howard.

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