The future is set in stone but the past has yet to be written? Starring an Asian Robert Patrick?!
As briefly discussed in our look at the Star Wars teaser, there is an art to making a successful trailer, and our first look at Terminator: Genisys is a great example of that. Notice how I didn’t say it was satisfying, but hey, at least now I’m baffled enough to be intrigued! Look, I have no idea what’s going on in this trailer, and I sincerely doubt that has all that much to do with not remembering a single second of Terminator: Salvation. It’s hard to fault a Terminator movie for playing wicked with its timeline. That’s been a series hallmark since T2 (whose marketing I was equally confused by as a young lad) but I have no idea what events set in motion a T-800-raised Sarah Connor saving a time-travelin’ Kyle Reese, but to quote one of the best onscreen villains of the last ten years:
The latest Terminator always looked like a superfluous disaster, but now it’s at least one I’ll have a hard time avoiding. Kudos? It’s difficult to tell how this ties into the series thus far, but you can bet it’ll do probably do it’s best to ignore the events of the highly underrated Terminator 3 (stopping the “inevitable” Judgement Day would appear to be the plot Genisys, but I could be wrong.) My buddy Shane Patterson compared whatever the fuck is going on in the trailer to the events of Back to the Future II, and I agree, but the big ass reversal reminds more of the ridiculous switcharoo at the end of Star Trek Into Darkness. Would anybody really get all that mad if Terminator started hoping dimensions at this point? Why am I still writing?! Here’s the goddamned trailer.
Obviously, I’m a tad irked by somebody having the balls to changing James Cameron’s original Terminator canon, but with everyone on the web losing their shit over comic book movies, it really doesn’t get anymore comic booky than altering origins by way of time travel to continue telling a story. And it leads me to believe people like me, who write unnecessarily long nonsense about ceaseless commercially-released nonsense, may still have a job post Judgement Day! I may die penniless, but at least my child can follow in my footsteps with a job writing articles like “The Confusing Timeline of the Terminator Series.” But be honest with me… does this plot exist written solely to explain Schwarzenegger’s age? You can tell me, I’m gonna see it anyway. I can’t not see this. I am part of the problem.
Hope somebody gets that. Hope nobody remembers The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Wait, is this the second Game of Thrones cast member to play Sarah Connor?!