Mocking Jays, Crying Devils, Wrestling Dogs and more! Shop, save, support your pals at Laser Time…
Here’s our semi-regular look at some rad new game and movie releases, and it’s a great way for you to help us keep the lights on over at Laser Time. If you don’t know how it works, we highlight our favorite shiny newness and link you to their Amazon pages, where you’ll generally find the best deals on the net and save on shipping. Using those links, even if you’re not buying the product highlighted below or any time on the right-hand sidebar, earns us a small commission and costs you nothing. So without further adieu, here ya go. Not a lot of stuff to recommend this week, but what’s here is pretty decent. Happy shopping!
PICK OF THE WEEK
DMC: Devil May Cry – Definitive Edition
I know many of you will think I’m a bit biased here, but I honestly don’t care. I love this game unabashedly, yet it got horrendously treated by a outrageously hostile internet, and I had to bite my tongue and accept a stupid firestorm of ultra-unnecessary anger during it’s initial release because of my gig. Fuck that: This was one of the best games of 2013, and hopefully people with calmer heads, and a lack of consumerist self-righteousness, can finally dive into one of the last-gen’s best titles, with all the DLC bells and whistles included, remastered and running at 1080p and 60 frames a second, AND at a significantly reduced cost. Seriously, in a world of multiple Batmans, Spider-mans, Marios, I’ll never understand why so many were so many people vehemently opposed to another take on Dante, but there fucking loss, I ‘spose. Ninja Theory has long been one of my favorite developers, thanks largely to their ahead-of-the-curve dedication to using motion capture to present some of the most believable, compelling characters and stories the medium has ever seen. However, those advancements left for some pretty underwhelming action and interactivity in games like Heavenly Sword and Enslaved. But that’s why this glorious little union with Capcom is such a lovely marriage of East and Western design philosophies. Capcom brought the distinct characters and hardcore, precision-based combat that the DMC series is known for, Ninja Theory presented it much more palatably, using considerably less anime cornball and combat you didn’t need to pause the game and read a 2000-word FAQ to understand. As for the “definitive” remastering, the mo-cap process for the most part proves why it’s a such worthwhile endeavor. Certain background elements and textures can certainly come off as notably last-gen, yet the characters’ performances live on as some of the best in gaming. There are video game cutscenes from 2010 that already look both hilarious and sad by today’s standards, yet because DMC’s are mapped to real human performances, the acting can literally live on forever with just a couple of mild graphical touch ups. Beautiful. Plus, I still think the dude who plays Vergil gives the best performance I’ve ever seen in a game. SHAMELESS PLUG: We streamed this (and Hotline Miami 2!) this week, so Chrome browsers can check it out in all it 1080p, 60fps glory!
Unseen Wrestling-Related Curiosities of the Week!
The Flintstones and WWE: Stone Age Smackdown
Are you ready for the WrestleMain-Rock?! If that just made you cringe, then you really should check out seemingly accidental clash of intellectual property from the mind of Vince McMagma (no shit, that’s his name here)
John Cena-Stone vs Daniel Bry-Rock!
The Boulder Twins vs CM Punk-Rock!
If you love wresting, horrible Hanna-Barbera animation, and lazy geological puns, I can’t imagine you’re going to have a bad time. I also can’t imagine someone with those tastes actually existing, but I didn’t believe this movie was real until the Amazon listing went up. Nothing is impossible!
I forget what podcast we mentioned it on, but the fucking Air Bud series is one of the longest in cinematic history. And at (least) FIFTEEN MOVIES in, it’s also kind of the weirdest. The original hoops-shootin’ dog is long dead, but it doesn’t seem to matter because Disney’s beyond eager to keep cranking theses things out as long as kids care to watch doggies that think they’re people. Once a concept shows signs of running out of steam, it’s spun off into something else. Air Bud begat The Buddies, the Buddies begat the Santa Buddies holiday series, and seemingly bored with Golden Retrievers entirely, it’s a Jack Russel terrier’s turn at direct-to-video stardom! Which is fine by me. If you’ve seen Frasier, the Ernest movies, and/or The Artist, you know full well which breed is the superior canine performer. I can’t wait to see that monkey get fucking choke-slammed! Plus, these might be the greatest images you’ll see this year:
The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay – Part 1
Dontcha just love it when a teenage cultural phenomenon isn’t embarrassing to get into?! Outside of Harry Potter, I haven’t really cared for any other youth-lit movie adaptation, but me and my lady have pretty thoroughly enjoyed the series thus far. I’d even go as far to say that they’re mainstream Hollywood film making at its finest. Jennifer Lawrence is the best young superstar the world could ever hope for, the movies don’t seem to shy away from brutality (I’ve never read the books), and the hyper-absurd pageantry displayed by the ruling class make them some of the best villains in modern movie history. No, I don’t care if this is America’s answer to Battle Royale. ‘Bout time, I say!
Dead or Alive 5: Last Round
This official trailer should tell you all you need to know:
Exactly what I wanted to know, conveyed elegantly, and silently. Thanks, Tecmo/Sony.
Big Hero 6
As your resident Disney guy, I’m kind of embarrassed I haven’t seen this yet. Disney’s first big screen cartoon (loosely!) based on a Marvel property? It’s kind of everything I’ve ever wanted! But to be fair, I haven’t really liked any of Disney’s animated theatrical outings that don’t star princesses. Frozen, Tangled, Princess and the Frog are absolutely wonderful. Meet the Robinsons, Bolt and Mars Needs Moms? Not so much… However, I’ve heard excellent things from almost everyone I’ve talked to about Big Hero 6, so I’ll hopefully give it a whirl once I can get someone to agree to watch it with me. I don’t know what it is, but I get tremendously sad watching new Disney stuff by myself. Feels like something that would send out a government alert…
CAPE CRISIS RECOMMENDS:
UPCOMING VIDEO GAME PRE-ORDER BONUSES
listed roughly in order of release date
BloodBorne *LAST CHANCE*
-Pre-order Bloodborne and receive an exclusive Messenger skin. Messengers are nightmare creatures that follow your Hunter around to help and to facilitate asynchronous online gameplay features within the game.
-Pre-order to receive an exclusive version of these Messengers
The Witcher III: Wild Hunt
-Pre-order and receive Amazon-exclusive 48-page hardcover comic FREE
Final Fantasy Type-0 HD *LAST CHANCE*
-Pre-order for and receive Final Fantasy XV Playable Demo
-Pre-order and recieve FREE Modified Car Pack
Battlefield: Hardline *LAST CHANCE*
-Pre-order and receive Versatility Battlepack FREE
–Deluxe Edition includes Versatility Battlepack, Suppression Battlepack and Precision Battlepack FREE
MLB 15: The Show
-Preorder for FREE Dualshock 4 MLB Team or Player Skin
Mortal Kombat X *NEW*
-Pre-order and play as the eight-armed Shokan warrior, GORO.
Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor 2 Record Breaker *NEW*
-Pre-order and receive free bonus soundtrack
Batman: Arkham Knight
–Pre-order to play as Harley Quinn. Utilize her unique weapons, gadgets, and abilities. Plus, contains 4 Exclusive Challenge Maps
Elder Scrolls Online: Tamriel Edition *NEW*
-Pre-order and receive FREE ‘Explorer’s Pack’ bonus for PS4, Xbox One and PC, including four bonus treasure maps, the Scuttler vanity pet, and the ability to play all nine races in any Alliance.
Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain *NEW*
-Pre-order and receive the FREE Day 1 Edition bonus. Includes a physical map + DLC content which includes, Adam-ska Special Handgun, Personal Ballistic Shield (Silver), Wetland Cardboard box, Fatigues outfit (Blue Urban Snake Costume), Metal Gear Online XP boost