Payback can be yours if you have the best WWE PPV predictions, and by “Payback,” I mean winning your choice of closing song on an upcoming episode of Cheap Popcast! Read on for Dave, Henry, and Brett’s Payback 2015 picks, and then make yours!
As we’ve been doing for awhile now, the reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of the LT gang’s Extreme Rules picks picks: of the four LaserTime contributors who submitted picks we had two winners tie with six-out-of-seven predictions (as Daniel Bryan’s match never occured). The co-champs? Yours truly (Dave), and Brett Elston! As for listener picks, multiple users picked a perfect card with what was left, but snugglejunction had the closest main event running time and will have and will have Triple H’s “The Game” theme.
Anywho, here’s how the prediction contest goes. The LaserTime gang is going to make picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/no contest) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners if any), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker.
What does the winning commenter get, though? Well, you can make your mark on the next PPV-themed Cheap Popcast episode by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out on next month’s episode. Got it? Good. Now, onto each LaserTimer’s predictions, with special Payback makeovers that will make a lot more sense after you listen to the show.
1-CURTIS AXEL & ‘MACHO MANDOW’ VS. THE ASCENSION (KICKOFF MATCH)
If someone would have told me around WrestleMania that Damien Sandow and Curtis Axel would be tagging together, I would have had hope, but the Intellectual Savior of the Masses is now at his dumbest. I don’t seeing a Mega Powers-knock-off team drawing box office for very long, but WWE’s gonna give it the old college try. Also, there’s no way The Ascension wins a match that matters. The Meta Powers win.
2- KING BARRETT VS. NEVILLE
Neville’s only been around a month and a half, and he’s already in a repetitive feud. BNB and Neville almost stole the show last month, but after their King of the Ring match, I already had my fill. Barrett needs a PPV win or two to solidify his reign as king, so I say Barrett wins.
3- DOLPH ZIGGLER VS SHEAMUS
Sheamus needs to look a little less chumpy. Ziggler needs his comeuppance, but not necessarily a victory. Therefore, I predict the opposite of Extreme Rules. Sheamus scores the win, but Dolph rubs Sheam-o’s face on his surprisingly tanned rear, and hopefully nobody speaks of “Kiss Me Arse” matches again.
4- WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE NEW DAY VS. CESARO & TYSON KIDD (2-OUT-OF-3 FALLS MATCH)
The moment this one was announced, I already knew the outcome. Apparently The New Day is defending their titles under Freebird rules (meaning any two of the three faction members can defend the belt), and nobody’s mentioned that the team needs to be the same between falls. After losing the first fall, The New Day swaps members to steal the next two, leading to an Elimination Chamber title defense where one dude is locked out.
5- TAMINA & NAOMI VS. THE BELLA TWINS
ANOTHER PPV without a Diva’s title defense? I hope this changes when some of the NXT talent finally joins the main roster. Until that happens, I don’t know who else the WWE can position as a viable challenger if Naomi doesn’t get some heat back at Payback. Tamina and Naomi win, maybe leading to a fatal four way at EC or Money in the Bank?
6- UNITED STATES CHAMPION JOHN CENA VS. RUSEV (“I QUIT” MATCH)
Rusev really can’t take another clean loss to Cena; his heat is in serious danger of going completely down the crapper. However, Rusev should stay away from lording over a title division for awhile and I think the weekly Raw title defense is the place for Cena to lose his belt (maybe against Finn Balor?). I think the WWE goes with a finish that breaks up Rusev and Lana as she quits on his behalf without his permission.
7- RYBACK VS. BRAY WYATT
Here’s another person who desperately needs a win. This is almost like when Bray was feuding with Chris Jericho. Ryback is similarly bulletproof, so Wyatt should win here with a reunited family, leading to Ryback recruiting two dudes for a sweet six-man-tag down the line.
8- WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS VS. ROMAN REIGNS VS. DEAN AMBROSE VS. RANDY ORTON (FATAL 4-WAY; IF ROLLINS DOES NOT RETAIN, KANE WILL BE FIRED)
Normally, I’d say that Seth has this one in the bag. He’s only a month-and-a-half into his reign, and there’s two additional Pay-Per-Views over the next two fortnights. However, I think the WWE wants to goose this free month for all that it’s worth, and I predict a good old-fashioned hot-shotting as well as something new to do for Kane. WWE will probably hold off until Summerslam for a Roman Reigns title win (an off-month show wouldn’t make him look strong), so I say Dean gets a Mankind-esque miracle victory, only to get screwed out of the belt at EC (making him a prime candidate for MITB-flavored revenge). Time of victory… 27 minutes.
Up next… Hank’s picks!