If you’re the best at predicting the results for WWE’s next PPV, you’ll have some “Money in the Bank.” By money, I mean your choice of wrestler theme, and by bank, I mean at the end of an upcoming Cheap Popcast. Read on for Dave, Brett, Henry, and Carolyn’s picks, and then make yours!
As we’ve been doing for awhile now, the reader who makes the most correct predictions gets to pick the song that plays at the conclusion of next month’s episode of Cheap Popcast! First, though, a recap of the LT gang’s Payback picks: of the three LaserTime contributors who submitted picks, I (Dave) was the clear winner, with four of six correct predictions, and the only predictor at all to deduce that The Ryback was finally getting a title victory. Hank finished in second with two correct picks, while Good ol’ Boy Grimm had the worst predicting acumen of all, only striking gold with The New Day. Sensationo was the only other person to bat over .500, also picking four winners (and HE was the only one who saw Ambrose winning) en route to his second consecutive predictions victory. His choice this time? Ultimo Dragon’s theme, which will play in an upcoming episode.
Anywho, here’s how the prediction contest goes. The LaserTime gang is going to make picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you awesome listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/no contest) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners, if any), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker.
What does the winning commenter get, though? Well, you can make your mark on the next PPV-themed Cheap Popcast episode by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of the final match listed) and I’ll give you a shout-out on next month’s episode. Got it? Good. Now, onto each LaserTimer’s predictions, with special Money makeovers.
1-R-TRUTH VS. KING BARRETT (KICKOFF MATCH)
I think we’re in the midst of our annual “Wade Barrett can’t win a match” run, with the twist that the King of the Ring crown is cursed. Heck, the last time Sheamus lost consistently, it was as King! So I say R-Truth wins and challenges Barrett again to the crown itself, which becomes the new European Title-level championship.
2- DIVAS CHAMPION NIKKI BELLA VS. PAIGE
You know what? Almost every time I’ve predicted a Nikki Bella match since Survivor Series, I foresaw her losing the title to #givedivasachance. But honestly, at this point the WWE has seemingly aborted the month-and-a-half Bellas face run so that Nikki can wreck Paige, rag on NXT Divas, and then get beat down by the Four Horsewomen (Sasha, Charlotte, Bayley, and Becky).
3- INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION RYBACK VS. BIG SHOW
I don’t think the WWE put the belt on The Ryback with the intention of making the belt look bad, and Big Show is entrenched enough that he can lose cleanly, so I say Ryback does some crazy feat of strength en route to beating BS. Maybe Bryan will be healthy enough to return at SummerSlam so that we see Big Baby Wyback dethroned then?
4- WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE NEW DAY VS. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS
The New Day is still too hot to lose the straps, and since Kofi ain’t winning in the ladder match, Big E and Xavier will here (even though I’d love to see PTP finally win some gold). I say The New Day wins, the Dudley’s return and win the belts back for a nostalgia run, and the newly-reformed Harper/Rowan combo 3Ds them back to the indies at SummerSlam.
5- MONEY IN THE BANK LADDER MATCH – DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. KOFI KINGSTON VS. NEVILLE VS. RANDY ORTON VS. KANE VS. ROMAN REIGNS VS SHEAMUS
Kane, obviously. HAHAHAHAHAHA… really, though, if anyone besides Roman Reigns wins this match, I’ll be utterly shocked. Ziggler and Sheamus are almost at the level to hold MitB (or re-hold in DZ’s case). Maybe Neville could be the face version of Sandow and lose on a cash-in due to experience? Still, the easiest story to hold is Roman with the case, either hounding Seth with it all summer or cashing in on Ambrose to heel turn.
6- JOHN CENA VS. KEVIN OWENS (NON-TITLE MATCH)
Cena has very rarely loses big matches, but he always gets his win back (on N64 and PS2). I think we’re going to see a deviation from the Rock-Rusev-Wyatt pattern, with Owens scoring another pinfall. I’m gonna guess this one is a little less by-the-books, with Owens refusing further rematches and truly earning the ire of Mr. Cenar.
7- WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS VS. DEAN AMBROSE (LADDER MATCH)
Remember it was a year ago when Rollins won a ladder match including Ambrose due to all of his Authority goons interfering. Prepare for round two. Yeah, there’s been dissension on Raw, but I think it’s likely of the “fool the faces” variety. HOWEVER, I think last month’s Dusty Finish (RIP) was a test bed for Ambrose’s popularity as his win is immediately nullified by a heel-turnin Reigns.
Up next… Brett’s picks!