The Top 7 Laser Time Patreon Rewards

People

The Laser Time Patreon is LIVE, but maybe you’re not totally sure about what you get by pledging a monthly donation? Well, I’ve found things always make more sense as a numbered list…

$5 a month. If less than 10% of our wonderful listeners gave us $5 a month, we’d never ask for money again. That’s like one game a year! Or five Taylor Swift songs a month! Or 8.5 XP boosts a week in that freemium mobile game you’re embarrassed to be playing! It’s a dream we’ve had for a long time, but we never really thought it possible until we opened up the Laser Time Patreon. Many of you listening to our shows heard our pleas for support and stepped up more than we could possibly have imagined, and we’ll be forever grateful for all the support we continue to see. But what if you’re on the fence about becoming a patron? Give us a chance to talk you into supporting our continued existence of Laser Time and expansion via an old, familiar friend: the numbered list feature!

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Above: This sexy is free of charge

Now we’re not talking to those who simply can’t afford to give anything right now. We totally understand and still love you all the same. But for those able to pledge $5 a month (or more), I dare say  we’ve tried our damndest to stack the $5 a month Patreon tier with as much amazing content as we can possibly put out. And don’t fret – all the podcasts, video and editorial content we’ve been putting on LaserTimePodcast.com aren’t going anywhere nor disappearing behind a paywall. In fact, we’re making even more of those than ever.

Instead, that $5 or more pledge opens up a universe of extra things we’re offering up. Just what, exactly, do we intend to do for the kind folks putting offering up their cash? Let’s start from the top down…

7. Top 7s!

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Hey, this article seems familiar, doesn’t it? Back in the day, we used to do a Top 7 feature every Monday at a place some of you readers may have heard of. But these days we just don’t see these types of articles where they used to be, and that will not stand! We want them back, and we’re hoping you do too. So every Tuesday, starting today, Top 7 lists are becoming a weekly feature on Laser Time. It’ll cover games, movies, TV, one hit wonder songs by white rappers – every aspect of pop culture! This is at the top of the many regular features, rankings, and news stories we’d like to pull off, and $5 a month helps make this a full-time job for at least 3 skilled members of the online press/goof troop.

6. MOAR VIDEOS!

We love doing videos, but they’re are a HUGE time sync and they don’t get as many views as we think they deserve – like, say, a billion views. Sadly, low numbers don’t always justify the effort put into them unless they’re no longer dependent on ad revenue to justify themselves! That’s the beauty of crowdfunding! So if you’d like to see more video reviews, more reactions, more game streams, this is your chance to become our executive producers and dictate the video content you want to see. The higher the Patreon total goes, the easier it’ll be for us to make more video content!<

5. Wrestling match commentaries!

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Dave recently experimented with this on an episode of Cheap Popcast, and the response was overwhelmingly positive. So, for folks that pledge $10 and above, we’ll be doing exclusive, bi-weekly MP3 commentaries for some of our favorite wrestling matches of all time. They should all be easy to find on WWE Network, and matches will range from iconic or infamous – and we’re definitely open to taking suggestions from backers! For wrestling fans like us (and you, we hope), it’s a great excuse to watch (or rewatch) some mat classics.

4. A Weekly Bonus Podcast!

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Titled Bonus Time, it’s going to be a special attraction for the $5 and above pledges! Once a week, the regular hosts of Laser Time, Cape Crisis, and Cheap Popcast will come together to offer poop jokes and insight directly from you via our favorite comments of the last week. Said show will range from 30 minutes to an hour and will be distributed exclusively via Patreon to $5 or more folks, so you don’t want to miss it.

3. Physical rewards!

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So, every three months we’ll be making original stickers and posters that we’ll be sending out to all the people pledging to the Patreon from $5 on up. Donors can receive either/both exclusive quarterly Laser Time stickers and mini-posters for a relatively low donation. $5 a month gets you a unique sticker every 3 months, $10 or more nets you the sticker and a snazzy mini-poster! Just know that Patreon supporters will have the items mailed out to them with no provocation, so please make sure your address is up to date in your Patreon profile.

2. A weekly Simpsons podcast!

Simpsons

It shouldn’t surprise anyone that The Simpsons might be the most important show to the hosts and everyone else involved with the Laser Time family. We average about one Simpsons reference per podcast, I’d wager. So, duh!, we’d like to do a weekly Simpsons show focusing on viewing every single episode of in chronological order. It’s called Talking Simpsons, but with everything else we record already, it’s tough to fit it in without a funding incentive, especially if we want to bring in a special host from our favorite retro gaming podcast. People who pledge $5 or more will get exclusive access to the first season of Talking Simpsons! And not to brag, but we’ve already recorded a few and think the show is gonna be great!

1. Monday Night Movies!

Did you like our movie commentaries? Well, how would you like more of them? Or better yet, how would you like to watch it with us LIVE? Each Monday, we’ll pick a movie and each Patreon donors will be able to watch a movie with us LIVE, chiming in with your thoughts in the most dynamic way possible. Can’t make the live show? No problem, you’ll have access to a downloadable MP3 waiting for you later. A new one every week!

So those are all the basics, but there’s so much more on the Patreon, like extra goals, more streams, tons of stuff. And if you have anymore questions, just ask them in the comments! So, head over, tell a friend, tweet it, Facebook it, take out ads in newspapers! Please, spread the word on the Laser Time Patreon, because we love doing this for all of you guys. It’s better than bullet time (or an office job!).

36 thoughts on “The Top 7 Laser Time Patreon Rewards

  1. After reading this, I still have questions. Most notably, will the Patreon exclusive commentaries and podcasts be archived? Let’s say somebody, let’s call him GMOevilAmI, is currently living in squalor and couldn’t donate immediately, but planned on backing a few months down the line, would they be able to catch up and relisten to old episodes? I’m asking now because I haven’t seen it answered yet, but I could have missed it.

  2. they mentioned that the streams might be archived as commentary mp3s, but just for the $5 and up donors. anyone feel free to correct me on that. more than likely they haven’t worked out the logistics of that shit yet. in the meantime, enjoy Back To The Future free next Monday!

    1. Every live commentary should eventually be archived as an MP3 available to Patreon donors. We fucked up last week, but hey, it’s still technically free for everyone.

  3. With the quarterly items being mailed out to patreon backers, will the address be taken from paypal if you donate that way or does our patreon profile need our house address on it, which is a bit weird.

      1. Okay, I found out where you can edit your address in Patreon. Apparently, they only ask for your address if you’re getting physical rewards. You just click on “Edit your Patronage” and you can change/update your address. This could get annoying if you’re supporting multiple Patreons with physical rewards, but oh well.

  4. Take my money as long as you need it brothers. Im just glad to be able to consistently repay the folks who made my work commutes not just bearable, but enjoyable. You are roses in a field of daisies, and I will gladly pay you more than I pay for all my other subscription services combined.

  5. I have a question as someone who donated to the 10 dollar tier. How do we choose the movie for the Monday commentaries? Is ther a que of all the people in the tier or do you just reach out at random?

    1. We have a schedule of movies laid out, but we kept one slot a month open for a Wild Card entry for numerous reason. Say a beloved actor dies and we want to celebrate that person’s legacy – that movie is a no brainer. Also via Patreon, we’ll create exclusive polls that only folks at a certain donor tier can vote on. But the best way to help us select a film is suggestion one to us. So… WHATCHA WANT?!

  6. *says in creepy and lusty Macho Man voice* oooh, top seveeeen.
    *then proceeds to rub the top 7 all over his body*
    it feels good. mmmmmn
    is it creepy yet?
    :3

  7. oh oh! I have a serious comment this time. will you guys unlock the old commentary tracks to the 5+ patrons? that would be super cool later down the line maybe? how about as a bonus if you hit 6K? hmmmmmmmm?

  8. Once this thing hits 6g’s; I will give away to one lucky Lasertime listener, an autographed xbox copy of Shemue 2 yo!

  9. I’m in, just as long as one of those articles includes the triumphant return of Lose Your Boner Wednesdays.

    – On a side note, I’ve listened to a few old TDars recently and it spurred me to go back to some of my favorite GR articles/videos. The MvC power levels video, FAPs, and most notably, “EVERY 8-bit Mega Man boss level!”

    Occasionally, there may be a message about a video being unavailable, and in many cases, the video is simply not even in the article – http://www.gamesradar.com/video-every-8-bit-mega-man-boss-level/

    I was just wondering if any of these videos exist anywhere on the interwebs through any kind of archived format (they aren’t on youtube) or if they were simply removed from the site for space/money issues or something similar.

    – Any response would be appreciated, all of this Patreon stuff must have me nostalgic for the old GR days.

  10. The Simpsons podcast alone is worth the support, not mentioning the fact that you guys simply deserve it after all these years.

  11. These last few weeks have made me realize that you guys are dancing around a topic that you need to face head on, in a patreon only episode, with lots of uncomfortable-ness and liquor. PORN.

  12. glad to be a full time supporter of you dudes. laser time network feels like it focuses on all my favorite subjects. Keep up the good work, hope this can be a full time gig for you all now.cheers.

  13. Bring back the King of Names! 🙂 I’m glad to see the return of the Top 7, also loving that there are more articles coming out.

    1. KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! USA USA USA KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! USA USA USA KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! USA USA USA KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! USA USA USA KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! USA USA USA KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! USA USA USA KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! USA USA USA KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! KING OF NAMES! USA USA USA KING OF NAMES!

  14. Take my money, gentlemen. You have provided me many years of entertainment and I hope to double my donation to $20 after summer!

    Love and man kisses ♡

  15. Bonus Time is worth it the 5 and the rest of the stuff is worth another 5. I say 10 is the ideal donation for your favorite social justice pizza warriors.

  16. wonder how we will be able to put our recommendations in for movie monday. i kinda hope that they put them all in a big jar and at the end of every monday night movie they pick out a choice from the jar, will keep us watching till the very end. LONG LIVE LASERTIME!

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