LaserTime’s WWE Battleground 2015 predictions: make yours too!

hank-predictions

HANK‘S PREDICTIONS

1- KING BARRETT VS. R-TRUTH (KINGSHIP ON THE LINE)

What the fuck even is this? King of the Ring was supposed to get Bad News Barrett cooking with gas again, but instead the underrated wrestler merely became King of the Jobbers, losing 80% of his matches. Not only that, but his feud with R-Truth may be punctuated with Truth’s unique brand of in-ring humor, but it’s mostly been the most endless, pointless feud since Adam Rose battled his Bunny. At this point I just want it to end, and I think that only happens with another humiliation for Wade as he loses to the man carrying a plunger to the ring.

2- RANDY ORTON VS. SHEAMUS

I seriously forgot this was even a thing, or that Orton had been used so sparingly post-Extreme Rules that I think WWE wants us to forget him. This combination doesn’t usually excite me, but with their alignments reversed it’s a little more interesting. Both of these guys can have great matches when motivated, so here’s hoping they put on their work boots Sunday. As for winner, I predict Sheamus, just to keep him going strong as Mr. MitB.

3- WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS. THE NEW DAY (TITLE MATCH)

I’m glad the Prime Time Players can now add “WWE Tag Team Champions” to their resumes, but it’s time to get the belts back on the most entertaining team in WWE right now. And with the power of positivity on their side (and a little cheating), nothing can stop the New Day (sucks).

4- ROMAN REIGNS VS. BRAY WYATT

This is a tough one, because both need a win. I think this’ll go like most Bray feuds, meaning Wyatt will get a funky, cheating win off Reigns here, making the more important SummerSlam rematch necessary.

5- UNITED STATES CHAMPION JOHN CENA VS. KEVIN OWENS (TITLE MATCH)

This is really hard to call. This is the Owens/Cena rubber match, and Cena almost always comes out on top in best out of 3 series. But, I also think Owens is so good when he has a belt to taunt with that I wanna see him win. Also, SummerSlam feels like the most appropriate blowoff for this anyway.

6- WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SETH ROLLINs VS BROCK

Perhaps the hardest to predict on a night full of unpredictable matches, which hopefully makes for some fun, tense viewing. Brock kills everyone in his path, and that should definitely include Seth, but Seth is the sneakiest bad boy is wrestling now, so he could steal a win. Then there’s the fact that Brock will almost certainly main event SummerSlam, because he’s been at the top of the card for the last 3 of them. Still, Brock killing Seth is the expected thing, so I predict Seth getting a DQ or something to set up another of my expected SummerSlam rematches.

So there you have it! Leave your picks below and don’t forget to list a main-event running time for a tiebreaker, and a YouTube link to your episode-closing wrestler theme. Good luck!

17 thoughts on “LaserTime’s WWE Battleground 2015 predictions: make yours too!

  1. I’m going to go ahead and bank on the outcomes that most people will hate, except that both picks for the final match seem to be favorable. Still, here it go:

    1: R-Truth
    2: Sheamus
    3: The New Day
    4: Bray Wyatt
    5: John Cena
    6: Brock Lesnar (Runtime = 6 minutes, 40 seconds)

    If I somehow managed to win, I’ll vote for Bam Bam Bigelow’s theme music, since I feel the late great BBB hasn’t been mentioned nearly enough on the podcast yet! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A7SDy-l3rFk

    1. Oh, wow. I haven’t seen wrestling in ages and I have no idea how long final matches tend to last. Still, I’m going to keep my answer of 6:40, as it would feel like cheating to overwrite my fluke. And who knows, maybe it WILL turn out to be a bit of a squash in the end.

  2. 1. R-Truth (The King gimmick is dead, just let him have it as he fools around for the next year or two before retiring)

    2. Sheamus (he’s been a weak MITB holder so far, so he needs wins to actually look like he deserves a chance at the WWE title)

    3. PTP (New Day don’t need to belts to stay popular)

    4. Wyatt (via cheating/MAGIC)

    5. Cena (they’ll wait until Summerslam to give Owens the big win)

    6. Rollins, via DQ/interference from a certain rumored person, in 17:00.

    For my music, I’ll pick the same one I always do: Mr Wonderful’s WCW theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RK9IY8r2aF4

  3. 1-KING BARRETT VS. R-TRUTH (KINGSHIP ON THE LINE)
    R-Truth wins to the delight of the 3 dancing whatsuppers in the crowd

    2- RANDY ORTON VS. SHEAMUS
    Sheamus via pinfall (Brogue Kick)

    3- WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS. THE NEW DAY (TITLE MATCH)
    PTP retains

    4- ROMAN REIGNS VS. BRAY WYATT
    Roman Reigns via DQ due to outside interference

    5- UNITED STATES CHAMPION JOHN CENA VS. KEVIN OWENS (TITLE MATCH)
    John Cena via a dozen AAs

    6- WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS VS. BROCK LESNAR (TITLE MATCH)
    Lesnar destroys Rollins via Vince wanting to up the ratings and the start of the
    inevitable Triple H vs Rollins feud develops.
    Runtime: 19:36

    Theme – Edge’s Rob Zombie rockstarified entrance. If I remember correctly he first used it on the week after 9/11 Smackdown edition. In my opinion, one of the best themes and crowd workers ever made for a wrestler.
    https://youtu.be/IzaJPPjLY40?t=12s

  4. 1. Barrett over Rtruth
    2. Orton wins since Sheamus has MITB and usually they can take the losses but WWE has a hard-on for Sheamus so who knows
    3. NEW DAY over PTP
    4. Reigns over Wyatt
    5. Owens over Cena
    6. Rollins due to sketchiness in 18 minutes

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