1 – NEVILLE & THE LUCHA DRAGONS VS. STARDUST & THE ASCENSION (KICKOFF MATCH)
Neville and Dragons win with some high flying antics because Stardust is a cosmic jobber and no one on earth cares about the Ascension. Every time one of the Ascension guys catches a high flyer finish your drink.
2 – WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS THE NEW DAY VS. THE DUDLEY BOYZ
Dudley Boyz win because nostalgia. I imagine Xavier Woods is gonna ride the pine here. RIP Big Dick Dudley.
3 – DOLPH ZIGGLER VS. RUSEV
Русев удря Русев мачка! I’ve lost interest in this whole love quadrangle bit, and as much as I like Rusev, he sucks on the mic and should have stayed a monster with a valet. Still, I’ll pick him over Ziggler, though I could see it going either way.
4 – DEAN AMBROSE, ROMAN REIGNS AND A PARTNER OF THEIR CHOOSING VS. THE WYATT FAMILY
The Shield 2.0 wins. After getting rolled by the Wyatts for weeks they need a win. Hoping the special guest is Finn Balor, but I’ll settle for Baron Corbin. Zzzzz if it’s Kane or Orton.
5 – DIVAS CHAMPION NIKKI BELLA VS. CHARLOTTE
I really hope Charlotte wins. I was hyped for the Divas Revolution angle… too bad it’s all come undone like a bad weave.
6 – INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION RYBACK VS. KEVIN OWENS
ere’s hoping KO puts Big Baby Rayback to bed. But I’ll go out on a limb and say Ryback wins via DQ or shenanigans.
7 – UNITED STATES CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS VS. JOHN CENA
[Dave here. Grimm left this one blank, likely out of sadness because seeing John Cena lose again would break his heart and make him toss out his many Cena t-shirts. Even if he can’t bear to write it, I bet he says that Seth Rollins wins here.]
8 – WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SETH ROLLINS VS. STING
Would love nothing more than to see Seth squash this old man, but seeing as he inexplicably lost to HHH at Wrestlemania, he’ll prob get a win via DQ here. Whatever happens I figure the chances of Stinger getting the belt are pretty much nil.
Up next… Dave’s picks!