Laser Time – Back From the Cold


We’ve returned from the holiday break with tales of The Hateful Eight, wintery weather, sexual frustration and stress management…


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42 thoughts on “Laser Time – Back From the Cold

  1. Henry, my wife watches Hallmark movies and they are quite bad. I sometimes sit and watch with her, asking a bunch of questions to catch up on the story which inevitably leaves me very frustrated.

    Also, you all should do an entire episode where you just talk about Henry’s apartment.

  2. And lo, laser time 2016 begins its clamtastic journey…

    (Oh, and if you guys are jonesing for another Kurt Russell western after Hateful 8 then defiantly check out last year’s Bone Tomahawk. All I can say is that it’s a genuinely wonderful movie … oh, and it might give you nightmares for the next month. So enjoy!

    1. You never closed your Parenthesis. This thing that I have no control over irks me incredibly (I mean wouldn’t bother you if I did the

      1. You cant tell us what to do old man!
        (If we want to leave our parentheses open, then maybe its just symbolic of our free spirits and open minds!

        1. same thing to you? or even more cleverer, included your response within my unclosed parenthesis, which allows me to close it for you.)))
          Hahaha, but you are right, it is evidence of a free spirit and open mind (mine is too chained and closed to accept such things).

  3. I always enjoy these return from Christmas break episodes, going back to the old days of Chris trying to get stanky on his hang-down

  4. The GI Bill of Rights was drafted in the American Legion in my home town in Southern Illinois. So there’s two things we’ve given the world… prosperity and support for American Veterans and Brett Elston.

  5. You guys gotta do a follow up of 80’s rap commercials with just 80’s or 90’s commercials of toys, shows and whatever else you can get your hands on.

  6. While I agree with Hank that Sam Smith’s “The Writing’s On the Wall” is trash song and Radiohead’s song is better, I still liked Spectre enough – certainly more than critics. I thought the Blofeld thing was done way better than Into Darkness, and although the canon is a little weird, it had good action and I was glad to see Craig just being Bond from start without the confidence issues or stupidity his character had in Quantum or Skyfall. Not a perfect movie, but a lot of the criticisms do seem to be just what these movies are because of their formula, and as a huge Bond fan, it doesn’t always bug me. It’s not Casino Royale, but I didn’t need it to be (and it seems like a lot of people did).

    As per the Daniel Craig thing, people have asked him in interviews (and if you read the one’s referenced about him quitting, out of context) he’s said he simply wants a break for now and doesn’t want to think about another 007 movie since they’re tough to film, he hasn’t said he wants out or hates it. Given that there was a three year gap between Skyfall and Spectre, I’m sure he’ll end up doing his final contracted film. Only one Bond hasn’t finished out his contract (unless you count Timothy Dalton, but his expired during development hell and wasn’t renewed so I don’t).

  7. Brett, I am begging you to dump your “Schizophrenic VHS” recordings to youtube. The track listing for those tapes sounds like an awesome watch and I’d love for them to be published somehow, unedited, in their original format. I know there are random streaming sites that try to provide a similar experience but these tapes sound like they’re a more curated nostalgia trip than the imitators could ever provide.

    1. I would love to watch these as well. Maybe try dailymotion instead of youtube like botchamania does to get around licensing issues.

  8. Brett’s VHS story was amazing! The world seemed like a happier place in the 90’s and weirdly my first full formed memories as a kid happened in 2001.Though i’m from Australia. I think 9/11 changed the entire world.

    1. I didn’t expect the story to lead to 9/11. There’s definitely some sort of short film material in there. Thanks Mr. Elston.

  9. Dave Rudden shouldn’t feel so guilty about masturbating at his parent’s place. Just be real quiet, or wait until they’re gone to do the deed.

  10. These new year episodes are always excellent
    That 90’s/9/11 tangent is an example of why Brett is great – I’m so happy he’s part of the crew full time now


    Brett, thank you for sharing Trammel Starks name and his work. Hearing that YouTube playlist took me back to my days of listening to Weather on the 8’s while playing with my Legos or drawing Mega Man 2 robots on my homework.

    I was so excited to learn Trammel’s name that I contacted him via his email and bought his three CD set directly from him.

      1. For all the entertainment you’ve provided me through the years, I’ll order an additional set for you. 3 discs, 39 tracks, though he said he lost a few originals. If you guys have a PO Box or something, let me know and I’ll send it your way.

  12. Haystacks in the south are like stacked Fritos pie. Chili cheese tomato lettuce black olives sour cream salsa and guacamole over corn chips.

  13. Alright, guys. I’m about to drop some movie theater knowledge on you.

    There was a brief revival of 70mm in the early 90s. Movies like Far and Away, Lethal Weapon 3, and Patriot Games came out in 70mm. The last commercial film released in 70mm was Gettysberg in 1995. There have been a few movies reissued in remastered 70mm, such as Lawrence of Arabia and Star Trek The Motion Picture.

    I’ve been a movie theater projectionist for just over 20 years. What happened at Dave’s screening is a very common goof: either a rookie mistake, or someone was in a hurry and not paying attention. A film comes on reels. Reels are labeled “heads” and “tails” – what you would think of as start and end. Whoever built this film assumed that the reels were all heads up and spliced them in the right order, only that one reel was actually tails up, meaning it was wound up in reverse, which is why the image was upside down.

    Why that reel was tails up, I couldn’t tell you. Sometimes that’s just how they come from the film lab, which is why you have to check before building a film. Whoever was working that movie was either inexperienced (very likely), or very rusty, as film was forced out by the studios back in 2012. Even if they were an experienced projectionist (like myself), they probably had never handled 70mm film before and were under pressure to do a good job. I have no idea how many reels the movie had, but I bet it was a pain in the ass to build. For example: Titanic (similar running time) on 35mm was a 14 reel movie. 70mm is thicker than 35mm, so Hateful Eight could be more like 18-20 reels, which is kind of insane. Henry said he worked at a theater once, so he might remember what a film can looks like – so that means Hateful Eight had at least 9 to 10 film cans, each can weighing about 45 pounds.

    1. PS – If you wonder what a long time film projectionist thinks of the digital takeover… eh, I’ve made my peace with it. I only work part time at the theater anyway. There are things that I miss about film, and there are things I definitely don’t miss. I do lament the fact that I spent 17 years or so developing and perfecting a very particular set of skills that literally became obsolete overnight. But that isn’t what upsets me the most…

      What really pisses me off about the digital conversion is that it was forced upon every theater, nationwide, and there were a whole lot of small-time, mom and pop movie theaters all across the country that had to close up shop because they could not afford to upgrade to digital projectors (roughly 80 grand a pop). And even IF they could afford it, they didn’t have the knowledge or resources to keep it running. You basically need an IT specialist to run a digital projector, which needs far more maintenance to run than an old school film projector.

      1. Just want to chime in, because we use movie projectors a lot at work (have about 10 of them around). They have come down in price since then (only 20-40k, expensive still yes, but not outrageous), and for someone who had never used one before, I was able to get one up and running and displaying content with just 30 minutes of trail and error tinkering, so I think they have improved over time.

        Also, Laser Projectors (the next wave) are really cool. Not sure the industry will wholesale adopt them though ($$$$, plus finding room for the chiller).

  14. Brett might’ve just dropped the most impactful “9/11 changed everything” story I’ve ever heard. That was some oddly powerful shit.

    Also, I remember in the HBO episode of Laser Time, Hank talking about ‘Six Feet Under’. He was describing the main character being afraid that his mother would find some embarrassing artifact of his homosexuality when in his room. I couldn’t stop giggling about how Hank was in a similar situation, except instead of lube bottles or porno mags, Hank is embarrassed by the sheer volume of Simpsons toys and comic trades littering his apartment. As someone who’s looking at dozens of Lego men cluttering his desk as he types this, I feel your pain, Henry.

  15. F the police. I love “Writing is on the Wall.” Has a very classic James Bond feel to me. I’m not a Sam Smith fan at all but the first time I heard that song it grabbed me. I also really liked Spectre as well.

    I tend to like (or not passionately hate) many things most do. Maybe I just don’t care enough to look for shit to hate and try and embrace the distraction element of my interests. Or maybe I’m just someone with shitty taste. Either way I’m happy so fuck it.

    1. And on that note, I think many people (not necessarily you LT hosts) mistake not liking something for that something being trash.

      I hate Final Fantasy games. But I don’t think they’re trash, I just don’t like them. Not for me. Important distinction I feel MANY are unable to make these days.

      And on the Hateful 8, I really enjoyed it. The mystery element was fun and the characters, dialogue, etc were all classic Tarantino. Loved some of the little elements and such in it. I would like to rewatch it again on DVD to notice any other hints I may have missed regarding the ending. Already picked up 1 (that may or may not be intentional).

  16. I’m not usually as big on freewheeling episodes, but this one was great. I think a book needs to be based off of Brett’s VHS chronicles and the shocking twist ending. It was one of the most poignant things I’ve heard in awhile and it kind of bummed me out. I’m not necessarily saying that life is objectively overall worse since 9/11, but… maybe a one-step-forward, one-and-a-half-steps-backward sort of deal?

  17. Texan here.

    Brett wasn’t lying. I am about 30 minutes from where that EF-4 fucking nuked an entire community in Texas on December 26th, 2015 (Garland, Texas) including 8 deaths and one of those being a newborn infant.

    The “some shit’s about to go down” feeling you get with tornado weather is a real thing. It isn’t just one, it’s all combined and they were felt that day- humidity, high temperature, wack clouds and what he missed but pertinent, a cold front moving in.

    For reference from here down south, the last four years have been a white Christmas or at the very least, a cold one. So the ingredients were there that night. The best part? The days started at 80 degrees, by midnight that night it was 20.

  18. Wow, was not expecting such poignant commentary on being over 30 and the significance of 9/11. I totally identify. I went into college with so much positivity. Everything was aloof and fun. Then that day. This is why it was good we patreons brought brett on board. If we can expect commentary like this with Brett around we all did a very good thing.

  19. I’ve never commented before but I stated listening to Laser Time a few months ago when I was introduced through VGMpire. Even though this episode was pretty untopical chatter I still really enjoyed it. Looking forward to 30 20 10!

  20. CHRIS– what is the name of the song you closed this episode with and who is the artist? Shazam failed men; frowny emoticon.

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