Don’t sue me, David Letterman.
Sylvester Stallone won the Golden Globe for Best Supporting Actor, yo! Creed was a great movie, so I’m happy to see my bro recognized. But when Sly gave his acceptance speech, he forget to mention 10 very important things, so I filled in the gaps for him.
10. Jesus
It’s cliche, but you gotta do it.
9. AIDS, for taking care of that no-good traitor Tommy.
Sometimes the toughest fights are outside of the ring.
8. George Washington Duke, for not suing.
Rocky V has some lingering threats.
7. Michael B. Jordan, because the Bulls were awesome in the 80s.
And also the guy who played Apollo Creed’s son.
6. HGH (allegedly)
You can’t prove anything!
5. Needles (see above)
4. One Russian person, for changing
You’re an Expendable now, Dolph.
3. Colonel Trautman
He was the only one to bring Sly back from the brink.
2. Adrian
Yo!!!
1. Me, Moan4Stallone
I mean, who else is writing Sylvester Stallone fan fiction well into their 30s?
Moan4Stallone is Laser Time’s Sly-master, obviously. Hit him up on Twitter to talk tough guy stuff any time.
I think sly forgot to mention moan4stallone as well.
Funny, I’m actually about to go see Creed in the next couple of hours today.
Enjoy and this film will tell you if you’re a casual Sly fan or a legit die hard. If you just like it, then you’re a fan; but if you cry, then you know where you stand with Stallone!