LaserTime’s WWE Clash of Champions 2016 predictions: make yours too!


WWE’s first-ever Clash of Champions event is this weekend, and Laser Time’s brightest WWE minds have made their predictions. If you pick the most correct results, you’ll win bragging rights and your choice of song on the next Patreon-exclusive Cheap Popcast!

WWE Clash of Champions is here! It’s not quite a Night of Champions, and it’s not quite a Clash of THE Champions, but every Raw title is on the line and you’ve got to expect one or two major changes to occur during Raw’s first exclusive PPV in awhile. We went through the entire main card in WWE 2K16 (sorry Nia & Alicia), and you can watch the fun below!

Anywho, here’s how the prediction contest goes. The LaserTime folks will make picks in this here article, and then open up the replies to you great listeners. You will then pick a winner (or if you’re feeling frisky, a rare draw/no contest) for each match (don’t worry about getting the finish right, I’m just looking for winners, if any), and then, just in case there’s a tie for correct predictions, pick a running time for the final match listed (the presumed main event) as a tiebreaker.

If you reap the wealth of your picks and have the most correct predictions, you can make your mark on the next Cheap Popcast episode (exclusive to Patreon) by choosing a theme to close a segment. Pick the wrestler theme and include a YouTube URL to a wrestler’s theme alongside your predictions (including the running time of NXT Championship match) and I’ll give you a shout-out on the next episode. Got it? Good. Now, onto each LaserTimer’s predictions!

WWE 2K16_20160923162244

1 – Nia Jax vs. Alicia Fox – Pre-show match
It’s been quite awhile since Alicia Fox got a PPV singles match (you’d have to go back about two years to her initial “crazy” period to find the last one-on-one bout for Ms. Fox), and it would have been nice for something a bit more than a squash, but hopefully Alicia will get a bit of her acrobatic moveset in before Nia Jax pounds her into the dirt.
PICK: Nia Jax

2 – Sami Zayn vs. Chris Jericho
This match has… it. By “it,” I mean the ability to end either way. Zayn would be a great challenger for Owens (even if they did just reneg on their “last ever match” after about two months), and he needs to string some wins together to do so, but right now I’m more interested in Jericho’s story. Even though he’s solid gold as a heel, the inevitable “thumbs down” from Triple H forcing Owens to betray his best friend in the world will make for a good last Championship opportunity for Y2J. He’s got to look good before that happens, so Jericho defends his friend’s honor with a win on this show.
PICK: Chris Jericho

3- Cesaro vs. Sheamus: Match 7 in a best of 7 series
This entire series (which has made for some fun matches despite the repetition), has been predicated on the winner getting “a title opportunity.” Cesaro won that in a best-of-one series against Sheam-o a few months ago, so I say this leads to something different. Cesaro wins, but it turns out the duo has learned to respect each other over the course of this series. Therefore, Cesaro picks the tag straps as his next opportunity with Sheamus by his side. They’re perfect heel or face opponents for whomever walks out of WWECOC as tag champs!
PICK: Cesaro

4- WWE Cruiserweight Champion TJ Perkins vs. The Brian Kendrick
I’m pretty jazzed that a dude who I saw in the booze and weed-soaked (and amazingly fun) Hoodslam shows just a year and a half ago is now competing in the inaugural WWE Cruiserweight Championship defense (since this one has a different timeline than the one retired by Hornswoggle). That said, Perkins is a per…fect first champ since he’s got the trifecta of a good look, a good backstory, and a good moveset, and he shouldn’t be losing this newly-minuted belt so soon. Perkins wins, and we cycle around to the next Cruiser, while Kendrick defects to Smackdown to beat up The Miz.
PICK: TJ Perkins

6- WWE Raw Tag Team Champions The New Day vs. The Club
A part of me thinks we’ll see TND hold onto the tag straps until the end of the year so that they can eclipse Demolition’s record-setting reign, but we’re getting dangerously close to (and some would say we’ve already passed) the rest of Raw’s tag division hobbled due to TND’s reign. The Club has fallen short too many times, so I say the newly serios Club cheat to win and end TND’s epic reign.
PICK: The Club

7- WWE United States Champion Rusev vs. Roman Reigns
2016 has not been a good year for WWE’s red, white, and blue belt. After Cena’s amazing 2015 run, this year started with listless title swapping between Alberto Del Rio and Kalisto before Rusev has meandered with the strap. Roman Reigns could use a brief sabbatical from main event programs (even though he DID just win a steel cage match against the Universal Champion), but I think Reigns could also lend a Cena-esque legitimacy to a belt that’s currently second fiddle to a title that The Miz won from Zack Ryder. Bring back the US Open challenge, Roman! The audiences will finally love you for it.
PICK: Roman Reigns

8- WWE Universal Champion Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins
With the Triple H coronation and all, there’s no way KO drops the Universal Championship in his first defense (also, the new belt would be sullied with three champs in two months). However, Seth Rollins needs to start off his first singles babyface run looking somewhat strong, so I saw he comes *damn* close before Triple H interjects, leading to a Shield Survivor Series reunion as they take on Trips, KO, and a third person… let’s say… Samoa Joe.
PICK: Kevin Owens in 26 minutes

Up next…Hank’s picks!

5 thoughts on “LaserTime’s WWE Clash of Champions 2016 predictions: make yours too!

  1. Nia Jax
    Sami Zayn
    Cesaro (I pray the don’t decide to become a tag-team)
    The Brian Kendrick
    Roman Reigns, but by DQ. (Yes, this kind of ending AGAIN!)
    The Club please let them finally look strong
    Sasha Banks
    Kevin Owens in 24 minutes with a little help from HHH once again.
    After coming so close last time, I really want all the CHEAP POPSTARS out there in the Laser Time universe to hear the Earth Worm Jim esq Ice Train Theme

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