It’s October, and that means a ton of horror movie viewings should already be commencing nightly, if you’re doing it right. And that’s why I’m here to give you some recommendations.
Who would’ve thought this list would include the likes of James Caan and Bill “Here’s Your Sign” Engvall, plus the underrated Richard Brake doing his best Joker impersonation in a Rob Zombie flick. Yup! So here are my picks for 2016, summaries taken directly from IMDB, but a quick tagline by yours truly to save time in deciding if it’s for you, enjoy.
“The collector meets Mr. Rogers. Well not really. Here’s your sign.”
Set in Cutter Mississippi, the film follows a man who discovers the dark truth about his neighbor and the secrets he may be keeping in the cellar.
The Mind’s Eye
“Campy throwback to the golden age of horror, the 80s.”
Zack Connors and Rachel Meadows were born with incredible psychokinetic capabilities. When word of their supernatural talents gets out, they find themselves the prisoners of Michael Slovak, a deranged doctor intent on harvesting their powers. After a daring escape, they are free from his sinister institution, but the corrupt doctor will stop at nothing to track them down so that he may continue to siphon their gifts for his own use.
Train to Busan
“Resident Evil 0 on film.”
While a zombie-virus breaks out in South Korea, a couple of passengers struggle to survive on the train from Seoul to Busan.
“It’s ladies night, and viral is alright.”
Following the outbreak of a virus that wipes out the majority of the human population, a young woman documents her family’s new life in quarantine and tries to protect her infected sister.
“Adults-only humor, in the vein of vintage Kevin Smith.”
In a desolate community full of drug-addled Marines and rumors of kidnapping, a wild-eyed stoner named Lou wakes up after a wild night of partying with symptoms of a strange illness and recurring visions as she struggles to get a grip on reality while stories of conspiracy spread.
“Follow back, youngin’.”
When a college student unfriends a mysterious girl online, she finds herself fighting a demonic presence that wants to make her lonely by killing her closest friends.
“The most un-zombie Zombie film to date.”
Five carnival workers are kidnapped and held hostage in an abandoned, Hell-like compound where they are forced to participate in a violent game, the goal of which is to survive twelve hours against a gang of sadistic clowns.
The Good Neighbor
“A solid twist on an old formula.”
A pair of mischievous high school kids (Logan Miller, Keir Gilchrist) create the illusion of a haunting on an unsuspecting neighbor (James Caan). While keeping his every reaction under surveillance, they see much more than they bargained for, and discover that the man they’re tormenting is not the easy target they’d expected.
“As close as we’ll ever get to The Evil Within: The Movie.”
An investigative reporter works to solve the mystery of a haunted house constructed from rooms of the deceased.
Swiss Army Man
“The most imaginative film I’ve ever seen, while also being totally f***ed up.”
Being stranded on a deserted island leaves young Hank (Paul Dano) bored, lonely and without hope. As a rope hangs around his neck, Hank prepares to end it all, until he suddenly spots a man (Daniel Radcliffe) laying by the shore. Unfortunately, he is dead and quite flatulent. Using the gassy body to his advantage, Hank miraculously makes it back to the mainland. However, he now finds himself lost in the wilderness, and dragging the talking corpse named Manny along for the adventure.
“Texas Chainsaw with a rifle.”
After botching an ill-conceived bank robbery in a desolate California town, two wannabe crooks flee the scene with a hostage and lead the local lawmen on a dangerous high-speed chase.
The Neon Demon
“A return to form for Refn.”
Jesse (Elle Fanning) moves to Los Angeles just after her 16th birthday to launch a career as a model. The head of her agency tells the innocent teen that she has the qualities to become a top star. Jesse soon faces the wrath of ruthless vixens who despise her fresh-faced beauty. On top of that, she must contend with a seedy motel manager and a creepy photographer. As Jesse starts to take the fashion world by storm, her personality changes in ways that could help her against her cutthroat rivals.
Tell Me How I Die
“This would have killed back in the 90s.”
When a group of college students take part in a clinical drug trial, an unexpected side effect of the experimental medicine gives them terrifying visions of their own deaths…which begin to come true. As they scramble to escape their fate, they discover that the killer is among them and shares their ability to see the future – only he seems to be one step ahead of their efforts to survive.
“The studio pick.”
Still reeling from the loss of her mother, medical student Nancy Adams (Blake Lively) travels to a secluded beach for some much-needed solace. Despite the danger of surfing alone, Nancy decides to soak up the sun and hit the waves. Suddenly, a great white shark attacks, forcing her to swim to a giant rock for safety. Left injured and stranded 200 yards from shore, the frightened young woman must fight for her life as the deadly predator circles her in its feeding ground.
Thanks for checking out this year’s list! That’s it for now, so let me know in the comments if you have any picks for me and the readers. And check back in, because October at Laser Time belongs to Moan4Stallone, yo!
Moan4Stallone is our horror maestro. Follow him on Twitter for more spooks!