Laser Time’s Honorary Oscars: 2017 Edition!

LaserTony

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

It’s back! They can’t all be winners, so we want to give shout-outs to the movies that didn’t get the recognition they deserve at the 89th Academy Awards.

If you want to catch up on the 2016 or the 2015 editions, there ya go.

President Trump’s Pick: 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

The “How DOES Rob Schneider Still Get Work?” Award: Norm of the North

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

The Boyhood Award For Movies About Boys: The Boy

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Movie Title That Should Also Be a Sex Move: Dirty Grandpa

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Scariest Goat: Black Phillip, The Witch

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Best Movie (It’s a Parody, Get It?): 50 Shades of Black

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Movie That’ll Make You Crave a Salad: Hail, Caesar!

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Satire Most DESTROYED for Dumb American Audiences: Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Deadest Pool: Deadpool

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

2017’s Best Comedy of 2004: Zoolander 2

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Best Superhero Movie You Didn’t See: Midnight Special

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Most Face-Palm On-the-Nose Title: Race

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Best Brothers: Nobby & Sebastian, Grimsby

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

WHITEST Movie: Gods of Egypt

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

2-Hour Movie That Feels Like 20 Hours: Knight of Cups

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Best Address: 10 Cloverfield Lane

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

The Zac Snyder Spooge Award: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

2017’s Second Best Comedy of 2004: My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Firstest-Person Movie: Hardcore Henry

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Least Accurate Historical Movie: Captain America: Civil War

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Blackest Movie: Barbershop: The Next Cut

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

President Trump’s Runner-Up Pick: Green Room

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Video Game-iest Movie: Ratchet & Clank

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Most Obvious Cash-In: The Angry Birds Movie

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Most Childhood-Ruining Movie: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Lonliest Island(iest) Movie: Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

The MM-“Oh, No You Didn’t” Award: Warcraft

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

2017’s Best Action Movie of 1996: Independence Day: Resurgence

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Runner up, worst Movie about Suicide: The Forest

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Worst Movie about Suicide: Suicide Squad

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Least Accurate Doom Movie Adaptation: The BFG

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Fictional Movie That Might Actually Happen Soon: The Purge: Election Year

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Most SNL-y Movie: Ghostbusters

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Best Use of Beastie Boys: Star Trek Beyond

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

The “Should Have Been a Porno” Award: Bad Moms

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Runner Up, The “Should Have Been a Porno” Award: Sausage Party

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Least Necessary Remake: Ben-Hur

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Best Use of a Turkey Baster: Don’t Breathe

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Worst Monsters, Inc. Sequel: Sully

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

2017’s Best Sequel of 2002: Bridget Jones’s Baby

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Marky Mark-Iest Movie: Deepwater Horizon

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Scariest Movie for Unintended Reasons: Boo! A Madea Halloween

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Least Accurate Medical Documentary: Doctor Strange

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Least Accurate Web Documentary: Trolls

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

2017’s Best SEQUEL/Comedy of [Seriously, How Many Times Can I Make This Joke?]: Bad Santa 2

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Most Animated Movie: Sing

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Fastest Food-Iest Movie: The Founder

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Most Misogynist Space Movie: Passengers

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

Runner Up, Marky Mark-iest Movie: Patriots Day

oscars, academy awards, 2017, 89th, 13 hours, norm of the north, the boy, dirty grandpa, the witch, 50 shdaes of black, hail caesar, pride and prejudice and zombies, deadpool, zoolander 2, midnight special, race, grimsby, gods of egypt, knight of cups, 10 cloverfield lane, batman v superman, my big fat greek wedding 2, hardcore henry, captain america civil war, barbershop the next cut, green room, ratchet and clank, the angry birds movie, teenage mutant ninja turtles, popstar, warcraft, independence day resurgence, the forest, suicide squad, the bfg, the purge election year, captain fantastic, ghostbusters, star trek beyond, bad moms, nine lives, sausage party, ben hur, don't breathe, sully, bridget jones's baby, deepwater horizon, the accountant, boo a madea halloween, doctor strange, trolls, bad santa 2, sing, the founder, passengers, patriots day

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3 thoughts on “Laser Time’s Honorary Oscars: 2017 Edition!”

  2. I will totally go to bat for 13 HOURS. It’s entirely apolitical. The film’s morals are just: we shouldn’t be here and the people on the ground get screwed. Then it turns into an Alamo / last stand-style defense film. It’s seriously up there with THE HURT LOCKER as one of the best “modern” war movies.

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