He-Man Hits Theaters, Barry Bonds Becomes Home Run King, and Mel Gibson Has A Conspiracy Theory – August 4-10

This week… in 87 Dolph Lundgren does NOT have the power for Masters of the Universe and Madonna asks the eternal question, Who’s That Girl? In 97 Mel Gibson is a Conspiracy Theory-ist while Bill Bellamy is a player. In 07 Barry Bonds breaks the career home run record while pick up artists premiere their game.


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30 thoughts on “He-Man Hits Theaters, Barry Bonds Becomes Home Run King, and Mel Gibson Has A Conspiracy Theory – August 4-10

  1. We might as well just start referring to Play Girl, Playboy, and other like mags as Ye Olde Skin Mags since I can’t imagine they’re selling very well today. Maybe people in areas that still don’t have reliable broad band or buying them, but I don’t my kids are ever going to stumble upon a treasure trove of magazines in the woods somewhere. And I also always thought Play Girl was mostly consumed by gay men, but the only time I’ve ever seen one “in the wild” was in a girl’s dormitory in college so I guess some women liked it.

  2. There was a rush hour TV show last year that was promptly canceled…and for good reason..it was pretty much garbage.

    1. The IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA episodes where the gang makes Lethal Weapon 5 and 6 are much better than the reboot LW show could have hoped to be.

  3. The Care Bears Adventure in Wonderland always reminds me of staying over at my grandma’s house. My brother and I were very little and loved this movie. Our tradition was renting a couple of movies and watching them with her, and we always insisted on getting this one and one other movie. For years because the video store never got rid of it.

    Years later we could still trigger an exasperated sigh from her by mentioning that movie, but she was always a good sport about being forced to watch it over and over again.

    She passed at the very end of 2015 and we held her funeral on New Years’ Eve which felt appropriate because growing up we always spent that night with her. I had the last laugh delivering a eulogy for her where I pulled up Wonderland on Youtube, because of course it’s up there for free since no one cares about that IP, and played the opening.

    The theme of my eulogy was growing up, having a kid of my own, being forced to watch the same stuff over and over again, and finally understanding what a truly selfless act of love that is. We were tight and I miss her to this day, but thinking of that crappy old Care Bears movie still brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eye.

  4. Crowd estimates are usually more PR than math. Here’s a nice NYTimes article about how the ever increasing attendance records for Central Park concerts got that way.


    “You would get in a room with the producer, with a police official, and a person from parks, and someone would say, ‘What does it look like to you?’” said Doug Blonsky, a former city parks administrator who is now the president of the Central Park Conservancy. “The producer would say, ‘I need it to be higher than the last one.’ That’s the kind of science that went into it.”

  5. Not a big He-Man fan myself. Don’t like either cartoon but I know my some of my friends are fans of the franchise so I’m the odd one out. But I am entertained by the Cannon movie, Frank Langella was at least the best thing about it. Although small correction if I may, Mattel put up the first half. It was Cannon who didn’t bother putting up the other half. Man, Cannon Films was run by incompetent fools. For Christ’s sake, who confuses one of the Allan Quarterman films with Tobe Hooper’s Invaders from Mars. How the fuck does one do that?!

    But since Chris has fondness for the Care Bears, fine, I’ll spare them despite me having choice words for them as well. I’ll say this, my words channel Jessica Jones’s snarkiness.

    But I will say fuck Mel Gibson.

    But Stardust, oh I love Stardust! ^_^ Good timing too since Matthew Vaughn’s Kingsman sequel is coming next month. Sadly I missed it in theaters but I did see it on Netflix before it left but it’s very underrated among the guy’s resume. I never would have thought I’d see Charlie Cox in it given how much I associate him as Daredevil but given Henry Cavill was in Stardust and Cox had a sword fight with him, that answers the long standing question; Daredevil can beat Superman.

    But really, I love everything about Stardust. The air pirates were fun, it still had Vaughn’s sense of humor and very awesome action like the climax. There’s so much to love about the film.

    1. I’ve made one low-budget film in my life and at times it could be hard to keep track of all the variables involved with just one production. At their height the Cannon folks were making a low-budget movie a week. That’s a truly amazing feet and I cannot imagine how they kept track of all of that . It’s amazing that the films are as watchable as they are with the rate they were pumping them out.

      Oh, and huge recommendation for “Electric Boogalo: The Cannon Films Story.” Anyone have any other documentaries like it to recommend? It might be my favorite film doc of all time.

  6. Ugh 1987 Megan Mullally is hella cute, cripes. I mean, 2017 her is too, but she looks uh-maz-ing in that clip. Ron Swanson is a lucky man. If nothing else, at least the Will & Grace revival will bring some more attention back to her.

  7. 1997: “Tanya” is Tanya Donelly, who went solo after Belly broke up. Belly was a one-hit-wonder responsible for “Feed the Tree”. Lovesongs for Underdogs was her first full-length album after Belly.

    Source: me, because I was a huge fan of Belly in the 90s.

  8. Masters of the Universe was the first movie I ever saw at a drive in. I was a huge He-Man fan growing up, so I was super excited for the movie. Even though ten-year-old version of me was annoyed by the strange changes, I still liked it. That said, I was annoyed by the non-cartoon characters who could have easily been based on characters from the show with a few tweaks.

    I recently rewatched it, and I say it holds up as a perfect 80s time capsule. For a Cannon Picture, it is mostly solid. The Eternia sets are amazing. And the acting is really something. Everyone is giving it their best, especially Courtney Cox, who easily gives the MVP performance in the movie and showed early on what a great actress she was bound to be. I mean, she really sells it. I’m almost ashamed to say it, but it brought a tear to my eye when she woke up at the end and her parents were alive – damn you, 80s movie happy ending!

    Last but not least, Bill Conti’s music score is incredible, even if it is a blatant Superman rip-off.

  9. Shouldn’t this epsiode be called, “He-Man hits theaters, Barry Bonds hits home runs, and Mel Gibson hits on a conspiracy theory?” I’ve never been a fan of Madonna, but I’ve seen almost all of her movies. I don’t remember Who’s That Girl being too bad, but it’s been about thirty years since I saw it.

    I was a big PeeWee Herman fan, and didn’t have MTV, but Friday Night Videos played the part of Back to the Beach with PeeWee singing Surfing Bird, so I watched it at some point on VHS. I just watched Beach Blanket Bingo earlier this week, and Frankie and Annette clearly know that they’re in a goofy movie, very much like the Kurt Russell Disney Computer Wears Tennis shoes trilogy. I hadn’t seen any of the real Beach movies until recently, but, like a lot of AIP movies, they’re pretty good if you’re in the proper mood, not looking for high culture or realistic plots.

    Playgirl is another aspect of “gay culture” that I think would be interesting if Henry did a gay-focused podcast (at least one episode.) Most of the time it seems like he drags gay mentions into the show just to show he’s part of a culture that isn’t just white male, but now and then he talks about more personal experiences being gay, and I think a show about that could be interesting.

  10. Personal anecdote. August 4th, 2007. My cousin took me to a free concert in Brooklyn’s Prospect Park to see my now favoritist band ever The Hold Steady. Nothing like Indie rock that’s inspired by rock and roll with songs about drugs, partying, concept albums, and a little talk about God that speaks to me as a lapsed Catholic. Look them up

  11. MotU, along with the Transformers movie, was a movie I grew up with renting repeatedly on VHS from ages 3 to 7, so I’ll always have a soft spot for it. I watched it recently as an adult and I still like it. Yes, they clearly run out of money and run past empty New Jersey warehouses at night, no, there’s no reason for the Back to the Future rip-offs, and they give Beast Man a costume that makes him a Sasquatch who can’t talk, but everyone is doing their best, especially Langella, who was mesmerizing as a super-competent Dr. Doom/Darkseid type, instead of the bumbling buffoon of the cartoon. Meg Foster is also great as Skeletor’s #2. Hanania Baer also does a surprisingly good job with the photography, considering the technical and budgetary problems Canon through at him; in addition to shooting around terrible effects and people who by and large weren’t trained, he also has a few shots that are genuinely good: my favorite is one where He-Man’s buddies are re-grouping in the foreground of a shot on a rooftop, and in the background, without the characters noticing, Skeletor’s giant parade float appears in the frame: https://youtu.be/4rF7OIcAbko?t=3m24s

    Baer was also DOP on Ninja 3: the Domination, and the Breakin’ movies, so I’m sure he had plenty of experience making decent looking movies with literally no money.

    As mentioned, rookie Barry Bonds looks like a literal different person than mid 2000’s Barry Bonds: https://qph.ec.quoracdn.net/main-qimg-dd06ad37db21c6c283c2e1f94b1680be

    That said, I think the baseball purists voting for no one in the Hall of Fame is ridiculous; it’s a bunch of sportswriters whining about the “purity” of a game that always involved casual use of spitballs and amphetamines. Barry Bonds was a hall of famer if he had retired in 2000, instead he became the best power hitter in history and won more mvps. Him and Roger Clemens are at the very top of Baseball references mvp/cy young shares, and neither are in the HoF because both became associated with steroids. If your hall of fame has Ty Cobb in it, you don’t get to leave people out just because they’re poor sports or you don’t like them.

  12. Age 9: I remember being a huge huge He-Man fan but I have no memories of seeing Masters of the Universe in theaters. I recall asking to rent it for some sleep over party or something and having some of the older kids try to talk me out of it but being very very emphatic that we should rent it. We did so and then as we watched it and they started to say it wasn’t very good I continued to argue that it was “good” out of a sense that I had to defend my decision rather than any real liking of the film.

    He-Man is in an interesting phase right now as an intellectual property. For all intense purposes, no one under the age of 33 or so has the slightest interest in He-Man and I’d guess that very few people under the age of 25 could even recognize a picture of him. And most of the people over the age of 33 who care about the IP at all, care about their nostalgia for it rather than the actual cartoons (which are un-watchable garbage). But the people who remember him keep getting older and older with less interest in him so unless He-Man gets a reboot in the next 5 years or so I think he’ll become a dead IP like the Flintstones; that is he’ll be worth so little that whoever owns him will shrug and say, “sure, why not?” if someone wants to make a comic that is solely built around deconstructing him or some other indie endeavor. What else would the do with the brand?

  13. My most vivid memory of Masters of the Universe was being terrified of Skeltor as I saw the movie in the middle of the night on tbs as a kid.

    And I also took my mum to see Garth Brooks on his latest tour for her bday. So many young men in cowboy hats that looked like Heather Mooney’s boyfriend in romy and michele

  14. I realized while listening to the Bonus Show that I forgot to add my End of Evangelion story, so I’ll tell it here.
    My buddy’s dad owned the local video store that rented anime and porn to the locals, and he would occasionally get screeners early – for those who’ve never watched a screener, it’s a movie that you get WAY in advance of it’s official release, but with a constantly scrolling message that says you’ll go to jail if you ever show it to anyone for any reason.
    He got a screener for the first End of Eva movie, and so my friend pulled every single Evangelion DVD and invited a couple of us over to marathon weekend of pizza and anime that would end with us watching End of Evangelion a month early.
    The part of the weekend I remember most was going to pick up our friend who was working at his parents’ Chinese restaurant. They got hit with a huge lunch rush, and he wasn’t allowed to leave until it died down. He told us “go pick up the pizzas and come back for me. Things should be settled down by the time you get back.” We went to Dominos, got our pizza, drove back, and the restaurant was still busy. His mom told us we could sit in a booth and wait for our friend to finish working, so we took the booth closest to the door, ate all of our pizza as loud as we could, and told all of the incoming customers how much better pizza was than Chinese food.
    Man, teenagers are assholes.

  15. My fondest memory of Masters of the Universe was renting it when I was 5 or 6 years old. Seeing Frank Langella popping his head out of the lava/water/river of slime and declaring they he’d be back scared the shit out of me. I decided that we would get a sequel and it would be battle for the ages waged in Eternia.

    I’m still waiting for that video to hit the shelf.

    34 year old me still gets goosebumps when Lundgren performs the cry of “I HAVE THE POWERRRR”.

    There is nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong at all.

  16. I remember in the 90s, that Garth Brooks had a real problem with used CD sales of his music. He felt that he should still get royalties from previously-owned CD sales. Maybe that explains some of the control over content you see now.

  17. With all the love in the world, can someone please get Chris a subscription to Variety or just keep him up to date on ratings and renewals? This was something like the 5th Laser Time network podcast where he made some off-hand reference to the Lethal Weapon TV series and said he’s sure it’s been cancelled by now. I’ve never seen the show but I do know that it was the second highest rated new broadcast series last season and has been very successful by network standards and was renewed a long time ago for a second season.

  18. Bonds was obviously a user, but the improvement you get with steroids is greatly overstated and there are a ton of other reasons offense jumped at the time, including league expansions which diluted pitching (one in Colorado and one in Arizona, both at varying degrees of altitude), a more juiced than usual ball, and a huge run of new, smaller parks.

    But the main thing I wanted to mention is just how much owners use this against players. Owners seized on the issue as a bargaining chip in the CBA, and used it to demonize players. They are major hypocrites in that no one benefited more from the home run chase after the previous lockout than the owners.

    Steroids are much more a labor issue than anything else. The owners are now seen as the “good guys” policing the game while the players are always suspected, even though the good players are generally in favor of exposing the bad. Its a wedge issue that doesnt even matter that much in terms of performance, and should be ignored. Hank Aaron did a ton of amphetamines, Babe Ruth never played against black people, and the mound used to be higher. Every era has an issue, and while Bonds was a huge jerk, he was also a workout fiend and almost certainly the greatest ever so far.

  19. Not quite related to anything from the show, but 30 years ago on August 9th, 1987, my sister was born. Growing up together, I’m glad to have had such a close friend who was always there for good and bad, and being the younger sibling, I’ve always learned things early because of her, being the smartest person I know. Even though you’re not really fond of the number, I hope you have a happy birthday

  20. I’m gonna use the Bonds news to soapbox a little, so bear with me. In the past few years a lot of icons of the PED era of baseball of come up in Hall of Fame (HoF) ballots only to be shot down. I’m here to say keeping PED users out of the HoF is completely ridiculous. Cooperstown is full of cheaters, liars, spitballers, cleaters, and all sorts of other scoundrels. Here’s a short list:
    1. Mickey Mantle was on a combination of steroids and speed during his ’61 race with Maris.
    2. Gaylord Perry used the spitball long after it was banned.
    3. Willie Mays allegedly had amphetamines every game.
    4. Sandy Koufax admits to playing “half high” during most of his late career.
    5. Ty Cobb, in addition to being a racist, constantly cleated opponents and literally beat up a handicapped fan for heckling him
    PEDs aren’t even a new phenomenon. Back in 1889 pitcher Pud Galvin (inducted into the HoF in 1965) drank an elixir with Monkey Testosterone and was praised for his performance by the Washington Post. Just own it and let Bonds, Roger Clemens, McGwire and others get their due for being the best chemically altered muscle men we had.
    Since I’ve rambled again here is a parody Oz intro:

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