Gaming’s Least Functional Families – Vidjagame Apocalypse 291

Happy Black Friday! We understand a lot of you might be spending time with family over the long weekend – and sometimes, that time can start to feel like a pressure cooker. Why not blow off some steam by listening to us talk about five of the most absurdly dysfunctional families in gaming, with special guest Alaina Yee of PCWorld? Stick around after, because we’ll jump into a lengthy chat about Black Friday deals, Fallout 76’s launch, Devil May Cry Netflix news, and your favorite Stan Lee characters.

Question of the Week:
Tell us about a time a game sparked drama or fighting with your family or friends.


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7 thoughts on “Gaming’s Least Functional Families – Vidjagame Apocalypse 291

  1. QotW: Our friends and I used to play an online PC game called Gunbound, it was a game like WORMS. Anyway, one of our friends (let’s call him Bob) was really good at the game, and it would annoy my other friend to death (let’s call him Jim). One time, in game Bob was killing it and Jim got so pissed off/annoyed that he commited suicide in game….and lost the match for all of us….It got so bad that when we’d all hang out, Jim and Bob almost came to blows over this damn game. It really wasn’t that serious in the grand scope of things, but damn they were mad as hell.

  2. One time my friends and I were playing Tekken 3 back around when it first came out on the PS1. As with any group of friends that play games there are some who are better at some types than others. But, on this occasion, a friend of ours picked Gon and went on about a 10 game winning streak that spilled over into Tekken Ball.

    From then on Gon was soft banned from play at all further gatherings due the amount of salt generated

    Also, I’m not going to pretend to know the amount of hate and vitriol Chris gets on a daily basisfrom different groups online but I’ve heard you mention punching up and I don’t think ya gotta throw jabs at Jesus.
    I’m not religious but there’s something painfully ironic about being non denominational to be inclusive and taking the time to shit on a different religion in the same sentence while everyone else laughs along. I mean that kinda sucks

  3. Already told you the story of my brother launching a screwdriver at our babysitter on the matter of turning off Tiny Toons Adventures Cartoon Workshop on NES, so I’ll tell you about how The Last Of Us became a relationship low point.

    I’d been with my gf most of my adult life, she didn’t play many games but tolerated that I played a lot of them. I was psyched that she wanted to watch The Last Of Us with me. One night she went to bed at about the point where Ellie rides off to a farm house, and there’s a big emotional arc. Problem being, I played ahead, by about an hour, thinking I could just reload and she’d be none the wiser. Then my dumb ass remembered auto save.

    I spent the next week talking her down to watching the missing parts on YouTube and getting back into the game together. We got there, but I heard about this for years.

    Dick move? Yes. Ironically accurate to the games current story beat? Fucking definitely.

  4. I don’t think any game I ever played in close proximity to my brother or parents ever resulted in smackage; usually if anything, my brother (who is about 18 years my senior) and I played together, or at least with him cheering me on or me him. His high score name in Stellar 7/Nova 9 (Sierra/Dynamix sci-fi supertank early-polygon shooter) even inspired my Steam name, which I’ve maintained going back all the way to Half-Life 2 in 2004 (which I actually got as a gift before having a computer that could run it; I wouldn’t have said rig until a little over a year later. Such pinings!); the three of us (our older brother and the both of us) have always gotten along famously, which I admit surprised the Galagashit out of me when I started finding out about such familiar connections in high school (through the few students that gave enough of a shit about me to say anything other than a nasty word or two) in my peers’ family lives and their often much poorer social circumstances, when it came to siblings.

    No, what really caused the enabling of the Apeshit Console in the house when it came to computers was my BBSing, which was done over 14.4K dial-up modem on the one phone line that had modular jacks at the time. (My Gran’s downstairs line had two phones, both physically wired into their jacks; which probably went back as far as the house even having a reasonably-modern phone line. Both upstairs and downstairs lines here – despite the piggybacking of a very fast Internet connection on my main house’s line now- are still pulse, and not tone, by default.) And there were many unexpected picking up of phone receivers elsewhere on the upper two floors, usually by my Dad (God bless his egg-shaped head). We never came to blows, such was our mutual relationship, but there were more than a few heated conversations thus because of how much of it I did when Da needed to make a phone call.


    Back when I graduated high school, our school held a big overnight “senior party night” for all us graduates at some sports recreation center, ALL the seniors spent the night here participating in various events. My friends and I of course stuck together and within 5minutes of entering the place discovered they had set up a projector and Xbox 360 on this 20ft wall, so of course we ran in to get first dibs. We quickly noticed they had Halo3 and COD4 both games we played pretty much everyday together and had gotten pretty damn good at, my one friend (not mentioning names) decided to play alpha dog and challenged me to the 2 so I agreed. By the time we got a game of battle rifle/snipers set up on halo we both noticed that the entirety of our class was watching in from the floor above AND THE PRESSURE WAS ON. By the end I beat him 25-5 and needless to say he was pissed. Being the sore loser he is he challenged me to COD4 next a simple one on one, first to 25. I was feeling cocky at this point and having the whole class cheer me on didn’t help my ego so I proceeded to beat him AGAIN 25-2 using only the knife… (dick move but I felt great about it) HE THEN SCREAMED EVERY CUS I CAN IMAGINE AT ME, THREW THE REC CENTERS CONTROLLER AT THE WALL SO HARD IT EXPLODED INTO TINY PIECES AND STORMED OUT OF THE ROOM LITERALLY SHOVING PEOPLE OUT OF HIS WAY ONTO THE FLOOR ON HIS WAY OUT….. I’ve never felt like more of a winner in my life

  6. Halo 3.

    Not competitive, though.

    My friends and I played the campaign quite a bit with a couple of linked 360s and a few TVs. We quickly diverged from the notion of banding together to fight the enemy to troll each other in the worst way possible, including throwing sticky bombs into people’s backs as we entered lifts, or my personal favourite, getting everyone into a warthog and driving straight off the nearest cliff. If you could somehow wipe the entire party and send us back to the last checkpoint, you took a drink.

    On the topic of the dysfunctional families, I would like to give an honourable mention to Draknguard, which had some of the more egged up family relations since you spend a lot of the game as the protagonist (not a hero, Caim is a fucking psycho and the game doesnt hide it) trying to save your sister from her raging Intel lute playing stalker (and Caims best friend) only to either have to kill her anyway, or have her commit suicide because of her creepy incestual feelings.

    Or you can watch a young boy summon his stone gollum friend to smush his evil sister to literal paste and condemn the world (and your paedophile companion) to be eaten by giant toothed babies.

    Shit’s bananas, yo.

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