Imagine if Call of Cthulu: Dark Corners of the Earth was a film that had all of the fun, violent bits ripped out, a nosey, British tit shoehorned in as the protagonist and the fish people were rubber faced locals… Read more
If you couldn’t get enough of Sho Kosugi and his nunchuck wielding spawn in Revenge of the Ninja, then you are going to LOVE Nine Deaths of the Ninja, which is just about as nonsensical as its name and… Read more
There’s a reason that sane people prefer dogs over cats, and this movie is it. A crazy cat lady is killed because she didn’t have the foresight to keep more than 2 tins of cat food in her cellar… Read more
Apparently you’ll sweat blood. That is unless you’re being mauled to death by a frozen barracuda or having your head caved in by the deranged, paraplegic ghost of the current gym manager who has conveniently regained the use of her… Read more
10,000 light years from Earth, Brick Bardo is eking out a living as a hard-nosed cop on the planet Arturos. When he’s not working on his best Dirty Harry impression, or styling his hair like a great big silvery toilet… Read more
Whilst neither a sequel nor a movie about Trolls, Troll 2 is a love letter to vegetarians written in all caps and hastily scrawled on the walls of a padded cell in a substance that is certainly not ink,… Read more
Superman is one of the most iconic superheroes of all time; a paragon of morality and virtue who never could quite figure out the knack to wearing a pair of knickers. Yet despite his super powers, he remains somewhat bland…. Read more
‘Old’, ‘wise’ and ‘extraordinary actor’ aren’t usually words you might equate with Ben Affleck and his acting career. But both Greg Silverman at Warner Bros. and Zack Snyder are singing his praises with the announcement of Affleck as the next… Read more
If you thought that rape, necrophilia or chopping some guy’s dick off for an impromptu game of catch on a lovely summer afternoon could never be portrayed as mere light-hearted high jinks, then you obviously haven’t seen Street Trash –… Read more
If the thought of naked space vampires rampaging through London spawning zombies and body snatching at every turn doesn’t turn your nipples hard enough to chisel their way through a diamond bra then perhaps watching Patrick Stewart play a round… Read more
Before Manbearpig rose to fame in South Park, it lived a life of domestic bliss in the forests of Maine, before going on an arbitrary killing spree to finally get noticed because trying to outshine the perpetual duck face of… Read more
Before the time of background checks, any old riffraff could walk into a teaching job and be engulfed in a swarm of lithe, youthful bodies like Captain Kirk in a pile of amorous tribbles. You could, for instance, devote an… Read more
Somewhere between Star Wars and Spaceballs lies The Ice Pirates; an homage on the tip of the tongue of parody nestled firmly in the cheek of a screenwriter who was clearly snuffling up the best nose candy the 80s had… Read more
Roger Moore doesn’t usually come to mind when weeding out the best Bond over the last 50 years. Sure, he’s a world away from Fleming’s vision, almost straying into comedy territory with his portrayal and these days it’s all… Read more
Peter Cushing cameos in this time travel adventure movie doing his best Mr. Slugworth impression as he seeks out the time twin of the dashing WWI pilot Biggles, because after all, someone has to set up the tenuous link between… Read more
If you’re an irradiated mutant under the somewhat substandard care of the Ukrainian government, fear not! For all of your leisure time will seemingly be spent watching an exorbitant amount of trashy horror movies until those clichéd tropes are… Read more
Taxi drivers have had their fair share of screen time in movies, mostly because showing a lead shuffling onto a bus and trying to have a meaningful moment with their face all up in some fat hobo’s armpit would ruin… Read more
The Internet: a wondrous place where you can seek out information about anything you care to think of, some of it even factually accurate; a stream of perpetual entertainment catering to every proclivity imaginable, including the one where small furry… Read more